Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Nope Sapphirecat, that sounds like too much work. I use to have story telling section on a different trucking website. You know, it was my own little space to yarn my tales. Well, the administrator there was wanting to go more into web radio. Now, that was fine with me, but I really didn't care to invest that much time and money. Yep, he wanted me to pony up and pay. Well, I don't do this for money and sure don't have any investment funds. So, he deleted about a years worth of my crappy writings and taught me a lesson. Yep, I bet all 14 members of that site are. Oh wait ! That's right, he crashed and burned and ended up off the internet entirely. But anyway, thanks for the much undeserved compliments and here's 50 Snazzy points. I'll have to call it an early night, but Snazzers stay tuned for the next exciting tale, as Life Goes On.

 

Well no, compliments are very deserved. There's lots of writers, blogs and book writers, who are sure that they're funny, amusing, and we all want to read 'em. Problem is, there not funny or even mildly entertaining. You are.

Anyhow, at least we have you here. Write On... or 'Shine On...'

Nighty Nights.

 

I so agree. Snazzy has a way of telling a story and he does an excellent job as well. I always look forward to his next adventure. I beleive his adventures to be interesting and educational at the same time! LOL Good luck Snazzy--i have a feelin you aint gonna sleep much! Be safe out there!

 

Snazzy the story is great. Don't worry, we are all still with you, hanging on every word.

 

Alright Sapphirecat and Lady Trucker, I'll try to continue if my swollen head doesn't float away, as Life Goes On.

Shane slowly came out of his hibernation and actually showed some interest in what was going on. Now, I never really did have anything against Shane. You know, he was polite and well mannered, when he was awake. But, one thing that I had noticed, was that he lacked any ability to use common sense. You know, he was an easy mark to take advantage of. Now, most drivers learn early on, that your at a disadvantage out there most of the times. Yep, there are crooks, bullies, thieves, and thugs around every corner. So, as a battle hardened veteran of the road, I tried to keep a watchful eye over young Shane. You know, so that he wouldn't get fleeced or Shanghaied (Shane Hided), to the South China Seas. Well we, err..., I had put down some miles. Yep, we'd been out for about three weeks and by myself, had logged over 21,000 miles. Yep, I was driving an average of 16 hours per day, at a 65 mph average. What a deal ! Yep, I'd drive for 8 hours, take a 4 hour nap, and then drive another 8 hours. Of, course it was illegal, but I'd log using Shane's book. You know what I mean ! Anyway we only needed a few more miles to have young Shane's 12,000 mile training completed. You know, half of 24,000 is 12,000.

So, we ended up in Phoenix, to pickup a heavy load of new furniture that was headed to Salt Lake City. What a deal ! Now, I had counted on my fingers and toes. Yep, that 650 miles, added onto the trip back to Dallas, would have me close enough, to kick Shane off of my truck. Now nothing against Shane, but hell, he was just excess baggage to me. Of sure, his logbook came in handy, but that was about all. So anyway, I had to park in the street, in a run down part of Phoenix, next to some railroad tracks. I'm sure that the furniture had been smuggled in from old Mexico. You know, it was a screwy deal. The Shipper didn't speak good English and my Spanish wasn't good enough to meet his sister. But, young Shane spewed out that lingo like General Santana giving a speech. Yep, Shane made us the deal of a lifetime. All we had to do was lug 45,000 lbs of furniture off of a boxcar and stuff it in the trailer. What a deal ! Well, I straightened Shane out and explained that we weren't loading crap ! Yep, if we took that load it was going to be up to the shipper to lump it. So, they went back and forth, and finally agreed to my terms. Well, I left the rat killing up to Shane and made good use of the sleeper. Shane was barking out orders like a split tongued Parrot on meth. The crew of lumpers were teenaged gang members that arrived riding their lowrider bicycles. Yep, a dozen hard looking cut throats that wore their pants around their knees. I was impressed, as they lugged the furniture across the tracks, as Shane accounted for each piece from the bill of lading.

It had started to turn dark by the time Shane woke me up. I sashayed back and inspected the load. Yep, everything appeared to be okay to me, as I shut the doors and latched the latch.

Shane looked worried, " Those guys say that we owe them $200.00. "

I gave Shane the look, " I thought you told me that Jose had agreed to pay them. What's the deal ? "

Shane explained, " Their saying, that Jose only paid them half and that he told them, we'd pay the other half when they finished. "

I whispered, " Shane there's something going on here. They're ganging up back there and this doesn't look good. Do any of them speak English ? "

Shane pointed, " That one in the center speaks a little. I think he's kind of like their leader. "

I whispered my orders, " Get behind the wheel and put her in gear. When I tell you to, drive like your life depends on it, and get us the hell out of here. Don't stop and keep going. "

I approached the leader, " How's it going ? That a nice looking bicycle ! Did you build that yourself ? "

The Leader was all business, " You owe my homeboys twooohunnry ollars and ths is bullshieit ! "

I smiled, " Well that Jose fella fed ya'll a line of crap. He was suppose to pay you and we don't have that kind of money. So, I guess we need to find him and straighten this out. "

The 13 year leader got off his bike, " Ha Man ! We don't play ! All Iz hav ta due is snap my inger ! Man ! Use better pais ups ! "

The gang of wayward children tried to circle me, as back stepped, " Let me see if my partner has any money. We'll work something out and no need for them knives. Yep, that's a good looking bat you got there and is that a real switchblade ? "

I turned and ran, as the pack of midgets raced after me. Yep, I was being chased by a bunch of bloodthirsty kids not old enough to drop out of grade school. Well, I signaled Shane to head out, as I leaped onto the running board. The pack of rapid Chihuahuas nipped at my heels, as I kicked and held on for my life. Shane did good and he put the pedal to the metal. Yep, we made the freeway entrance and were on our way. I slid into the passenger seat and breathed a sigh of relief. Shane and I both jabbered at the same time and laughed like hyenas. Yep, that was a close call and one that I'll always remember. I still have the little pear knife that one of Band Aid Toes had tried to stab me with. Yep, it was stuck in the cuff of my jeans, but hadn't even scratched me. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Hey Gringo come back or we kill you. Dinero Gringo Hombre dinero! Bese my ######s!!!!!!

 

Wow snazzy that really sux! Seems like that bad luck cloud follows you like it does me! At least you was a quick thinker to get outta that one! Maybe you taught poor ole shane a lesson too. Im guessin you might better avoid phoenix a while till they forget about you though or keep your gun real handy! Awesome story snazzy--i love it! Well--imma be off for a few days but keep the story goin--you got me hooked now!

Good luck to all--Be Safe out there!

 

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You were one lucky man, Snazz, to extract yourself from that mess. I bet that underneath those shades, there was FIRE in them eyes!!​

 

I see that Leannamarie is still with us, ole Big Duker can speak that lingo, and Lady Trucker is going to be absent for a few days. Of course Ducks posted the perfect picture, as Life Goes On.

I took the wheel from Shane and headed North on IH-17, to US 89, Salt Lake City bound. The sun had sank and I'd kept an eye out for any bicycles that may have tried to follow us. Well, I don't know what came over me, but for some reason I just couldn't keep my eyes open. It was probably because I'd only managed a few 4 hour naps over the past three weeks. Anyway, Shane was all worked up and raring to go. Now, I knew better, you know, that US 89 is a handful, and napping isn't allowed. But hey, I was in a jam, you see. That load of furniture had to deliver before noon Friday, which was the following day.That live load headed back to Dallas, had to be picked up before 5 pm. Yep, we were cutting it short, but it was doable. You know, just no time for sleeping and goofing off. So, I pulled into a brake check area and gave Shane the old pep talk.

I lit up a 100 and puffed smoke, " Listen Shane ! We have to keep going, but I'm pretty much out of it. If we miss our noon delivery, then we'll lose that Dallas load. Now, don't lie to me ! Can you handle it for a few hours and not doze off ? "

Shane started jumping up and down, " Sure, I can do it ! You can trust me and I won't let you down ! I've been watching you run these hills and using that Jake Brake. I can do that and I feel fine ! "

I drew on the sleeper line, " Alright, make your mark and get us going. Now, I'm going to sit in that seat and watch you. If you as much as blink too long, I'll have to ..."

Shane drew on his driving line, " Mr Goose you don't have to worry ! I'll show you that I'm able to do this. Please, just give me the chance, I'll prove it ! "

So, I plopped down in the shotgun seat, as young Shane took her reins and we was trucking again. Now, what I had planned to do was to keep one eye open. You know, one watching Shane, while the other one slept. Of course after three minutes had passed, I was curled up and sawing logs. Yep, them three weeks of endless highways had taken their toll. My eyes were bloodshot red and my face sagged from weariness. Yep, I was a mess. But hey ! Young Shane was a good driver and if he didn't kill us, we'd be back in Dallas in no time. So, I slobbered drool, smacked my gums, and dreamed of Julie. What a deal !

The morning sun shined brightly through the big windshield and helped to warm the breakfast of smushed bug remains. Yep, a large bird pranced across the hood and nodded a good morning to me, as I swam out of dreamland. You know, how it takes a minute to clear the fog from your head and wipe away the spiderwebs. I slowly sat up and took a visual inventory. Let's see, bird eating bug, check, suns up, check, we're not moving, check, Shane's not here, check, we're parked, check, in the slow lane, check, wait, check. No wait ! Where the hell is Shane ? We're parked on the #### interstate ! Yep, I slid over into the drivers seat and pushed in her yellow knob. She farted a loud one, as I kicked her in gear, and flipped on her four ways. Luckily there was no traffic, as I slowly climbed the steep grade. I screamed out Shane's name and swung my head around to take a look see. Yep, there was Shane on the bottom bunk and out like a light. It took me a few minutes to piece together what had happened. Yep, Shane had driven a whole five miles before calling it quits. He hadn't even pulled off the road or nothen. Yep, just left her sitting there waiting to be the last thing some poor slob would of ever seen. I was pissed at Shane, but more upset at myself. You know, what the hell was I trying to do ? That crazy crap was going to get someone killed. Well, that was that !

Yep, we ended up sitting at the local truckstop all that weekend and missed out on our Dallas load. What a deal ! The only good part was that I slept for over 20 hours straight. Yep, call me Shane Junior. Anyway, I didn't blame Shane and really did feel sorry for him. You know, he couldn't help it and I'm sure that he tried his best. Yep, sometimes your best just isn't good enough, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, Your Snazzy1.

 

What a deal! Now you gotta get rid of Sleeping Beauty as fast as you can!

Barney and Shane on the road again....