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<p>[QUOTE="x1Heavy, post: 6412720, member: 178676"]I'll say a little tidbit. My Ex was a former Marine Sgt. No one is going to save her. She has to make her own way. Long before I come along to her life. We survived cancer which erased about 6 of 20 total years ongoing And she is still with us. For that I am thankful even though she is a ex. We are still a team, there are certain things I will help her with when it comes up a problem and vice versa. </p><p><br /></p><p>My family is traditional. Divorces result in a life time of anger, resentment and all sorts of NASTY problems. We three kids witnessed that first hand. Two are still married, Im the third who is not anymore. However... with the nasty, in fighting or bad things all of that is gone away, we broke the circle that way. But as far as my ex is concerned, there is not much of a problem anymore as far as waiting on someone to save. We dont live like that. We don't wait on someone to save you. You have to stand on your own two feet.</p><p><br /></p><p>It is well that life itself should be so hard sometimes, that is when you try to get rested for morning light and try again. and again and. again.</p><p><br /></p><p>The Joys outweigh the bad things when you choose to live. And do the things that you enjoy doing. Married or single or whatever it is. No one is going to "Save you" unless you are a very lucky person in your time of need on a real bad day.</p><p><br /></p><p>Part of trucking is freedom, and part of it means being solo and alone. That means you have to stand on your two feet with the entire USA, parts of Canada and Mexico as your territory. Whatever the weather, season or place you are sent. 365 days of the year. It's easier when someone delivers food to order to your table, not so easy when you decide to be self sufficient and fix your own food inside that tractor when time permits.</p><p><br /></p><p>I am taught that it is good to marry. If anything for each other provided you two are equals more or less. Sometimes it is not good to marry if one is too young or too old or unequal somehow. Or even weaker than the other in some way. When my wife ran with me as a H/W team we had a different dynamic in that tractor. In the front is the office, work place. Behind the curtain is the sleeper, our house, our home. It made for some interesting days when dispatch makes rather difficult demands on us for the good of the company. I do somethings well, she does other things better than me. But overall it worked out well.</p><p><br /></p><p>Why did she stop? Obesity. The food quality was not standard for her body. She started gaining weight and BMI. We noticed it. She was back to normal weight within 6 months after stopping, by then 9-11 had come and gone, I accumulated medical issues and it was my turn to stop also. That created problems and stress because Im supposed to be the primary bread winner in our home. Eventually it all got worked out. For a while anyhow until that cancer came along. Resulting in a loss of 6 years.</p><p><br /></p><p>When you face something like that when one of you gets struck down by a lethal enemy to health, life and liberty etc you do whatever you can with what you have for your spouse. We are never gauranteed tomorrow. You do learn who your loyal friends are, the rest flee because they dont want to deal with it.</p><p><br /></p><p>We had a situation where a third party attempted to build a relationship with the spouse at a workplace. Once spouse and I detected that there is a problem against our marriage, that spouse ended her employment there. Fortunately for us that third party was killed by a health issue of his own. However, he had found someone else to love him by then. Bully for him. But during that year, he was a threat to our marital home and everything we built. Basically he wanted a instant mother for his 6 year old boy. Who eventually grew to be a 21 year old embittered young man who left Arkansas for Hawaii. Vowing never to return to this terrible place. I don't blame him.</p><p><br /></p><p>We lived our lives the way we wanted to as best we were able long before we met each other and during and after our marriage. We are still living the way we want to in life despite increasingly difficult medical challenges and a relative who is pretty sick among other problems. We get up make a breakfast and plan on a good day. But since she is a ex, she is she and I am me. However... we pretty much are a team until death parts. That is not always a bad thing.</p><p><br /></p><p>Theoratically she can marry again, or I can too. But we discovered that we don't intend to. Once is enough. More than enough actually. It was awesome all these years. But change is life. Sometimes it rains and you say *&^% on it. Sometimes its the sunshine and you do cartwheels.... in joy.</p><p><br /></p><p>Live well. Do it for yourself. if you sit there thinking someone is going to come save you again... you are not living. You are just waiting, marking time, wasting it.</p><p><br /></p><p>Our Nation is enduring great stresses imposed by a percentage of a people in total in our society who wants to dispose entirely of many things that has sustained Humans for thousand if not tens of thousands of years. They would like some things such as marriage, family raising and so forth to go away. If enough did.. then there will not be enough children raised to adulthood to provide the future they deserve to have. Children are our future. Always. The best way to have children is to have a good home, a good marriage and a stable family where possible. It's not always nice. But it's possible when that child grows to adult and actually turns out well.</p><p><br /></p><p>In spite of everything, they turn out well. Im happy.[/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>
[QUOTE="x1Heavy, post: 6412720, member: 178676"]I'll say a little tidbit. My Ex was a former Marine Sgt. No one is going to save her. She has to make her own way. Long before I come along to her life. We survived cancer which erased about 6 of 20 total years ongoing And she is still with us. For that I am thankful even though she is a ex. We are still a team, there are certain things I will help her with when it comes up a problem and vice versa. My family is traditional. Divorces result in a life time of anger, resentment and all sorts of NASTY problems. We three kids witnessed that first hand. Two are still married, Im the third who is not anymore. However... with the nasty, in fighting or bad things all of that is gone away, we broke the circle that way. But as far as my ex is concerned, there is not much of a problem anymore as far as waiting on someone to save. We dont live like that. We don't wait on someone to save you. You have to stand on your own two feet. It is well that life itself should be so hard sometimes, that is when you try to get rested for morning light and try again. and again and. again. The Joys outweigh the bad things when you choose to live. And do the things that you enjoy doing. Married or single or whatever it is. No one is going to "Save you" unless you are a very lucky person in your time of need on a real bad day. Part of trucking is freedom, and part of it means being solo and alone. That means you have to stand on your two feet with the entire USA, parts of Canada and Mexico as your territory. Whatever the weather, season or place you are sent. 365 days of the year. It's easier when someone delivers food to order to your table, not so easy when you decide to be self sufficient and fix your own food inside that tractor when time permits. I am taught that it is good to marry. If anything for each other provided you two are equals more or less. Sometimes it is not good to marry if one is too young or too old or unequal somehow. Or even weaker than the other in some way. When my wife ran with me as a H/W team we had a different dynamic in that tractor. In the front is the office, work place. Behind the curtain is the sleeper, our house, our home. It made for some interesting days when dispatch makes rather difficult demands on us for the good of the company. I do somethings well, she does other things better than me. But overall it worked out well. Why did she stop? Obesity. The food quality was not standard for her body. She started gaining weight and BMI. We noticed it. She was back to normal weight within 6 months after stopping, by then 9-11 had come and gone, I accumulated medical issues and it was my turn to stop also. That created problems and stress because Im supposed to be the primary bread winner in our home. Eventually it all got worked out. For a while anyhow until that cancer came along. Resulting in a loss of 6 years. When you face something like that when one of you gets struck down by a lethal enemy to health, life and liberty etc you do whatever you can with what you have for your spouse. We are never gauranteed tomorrow. You do learn who your loyal friends are, the rest flee because they dont want to deal with it. We had a situation where a third party attempted to build a relationship with the spouse at a workplace. Once spouse and I detected that there is a problem against our marriage, that spouse ended her employment there. Fortunately for us that third party was killed by a health issue of his own. However, he had found someone else to love him by then. Bully for him. But during that year, he was a threat to our marital home and everything we built. Basically he wanted a instant mother for his 6 year old boy. Who eventually grew to be a 21 year old embittered young man who left Arkansas for Hawaii. Vowing never to return to this terrible place. I don't blame him. We lived our lives the way we wanted to as best we were able long before we met each other and during and after our marriage. We are still living the way we want to in life despite increasingly difficult medical challenges and a relative who is pretty sick among other problems. We get up make a breakfast and plan on a good day. But since she is a ex, she is she and I am me. However... we pretty much are a team until death parts. That is not always a bad thing. Theoratically she can marry again, or I can too. But we discovered that we don't intend to. Once is enough. More than enough actually. It was awesome all these years. But change is life. Sometimes it rains and you say *&^% on it. Sometimes its the sunshine and you do cartwheels.... in joy. Live well. Do it for yourself. if you sit there thinking someone is going to come save you again... you are not living. You are just waiting, marking time, wasting it. Our Nation is enduring great stresses imposed by a percentage of a people in total in our society who wants to dispose entirely of many things that has sustained Humans for thousand if not tens of thousands of years. They would like some things such as marriage, family raising and so forth to go away. If enough did.. then there will not be enough children raised to adulthood to provide the future they deserve to have. Children are our future. Always. The best way to have children is to have a good home, a good marriage and a stable family where possible. It's not always nice. But it's possible when that child grows to adult and actually turns out well. In spite of everything, they turn out well. Im happy.[/QUOTE]
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