Norfolk Southern Derailment-East Palatine,OH

18 to 24 months to complete the investigation. Why would an investigation take so long? Do NTSB investigators keep banker's hours?

 

I've got your controlled release of toxins right here.

 

Have to create a cover-up. By then public and media will have forgotten

 

*something happens*

Pretty clear conspiracy, guys. Can't believe nobody sees it. Lol

 

There are actually 3 LEVELS OF Accepted Structural Solutions:

1) No Injuries and/or Damages to Person or Persons (personal property replaced at company convenience). Inconvenienced Persons due to Train Damages will be compensated at the usual Railroad rate of Whoever is in charge at the time of the Incident. Nominal Legal processes result in nominal payout according to whomever was in control of the Out of Control Unit(s) as corroborated by our yearly altered Societal Civilian Replacements Accelerate Pathetically Exciting Decisions or SCRAPED.

2) Please Have A Complete Physical Examination Regardless of Agreed or Non Agreed Upon Involvement in The Structural Integrity Performance of Our Local Rolling Structural Integrity Test, Regardless of Your Proximity To The Area of Involvement.
Your Cooperation Is Required per Railroad Agreements Your Ancestors Signed Under Company Required Embarrassing Conditions, Thank You.

3) Any Confusion With Any Above Statements, Please Do Call Us For Further Directives As Your Disagreement With Any Decision We Make With or Without Your Presence Still Applies To Your Severance Package or [under very low spoken tones with disrupting sounds in background] Removal Of One or Two Appendages To Seal The Deal.

Thank You For Your Cooperation and Comprehension in Exercising Your Railroad Rights and Requirements.

 

It's merely left of center.