Tips and helpful information for new truck drivers.

They remind you in county jail “Put some water on that ####”

 

Back pain and bent credit cards

 

1) if you ran up all your time, just unplug your elog and turn off all your lights, keep rolling (at night)
2) if you’re dog tired, find a local crack head and offer him a kiss for a small hit of meth (under special circumstances)
3) if DOT pulls you over, don’t.
4) If I’m trying to pass you, and you won’t let me, I will.
5) If you scratch your butthole in your truck and knowingly grab the door handles/punch your pin in when paying…and don’t care….you goin to hell

 

Check your Flux capacitor and blinker fluid during the pretrip. The "speed limit" is a lie. Those red and blue flashing lights in your mirror don't mean anything, it's just glitching. If you see someone in the road, speed up. The family in the minivan going 10mph slower than you love when you creep up and lay on the air horn. You can only decide what you want at a fast food joint when you get to the register. Construction zones make you go faster. Weigh stations are for everyone else.

 

A tip that probably hasn’t been mentioned get plenty of wet wipes and clean thoroughly after #2. Imperative for keeping the eventual roids in check. Oh and no one wants to hear your TV cranked to 11.