Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIcmIhOesaI

This has been a special night...

with special shout outs to U4EA...(maybe someday he'll tell me what that means..)(smile)...

And special shout out to JimDraw3r and xlsdraw...and the rest...

Live long and strong...may Gods blessings pour upon you....

Now get some rest...cause you truly are special...and one day...well ya just never know....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_Yx0X-eHn8

I will never forget...Congradualtion Oregon Ducks..quak quak...

 

First...it's cold...Not Boston cold, not Minnisota cold, not Winsconsin cold...but SE Florida cold...some of you snow birds may laugh at that...but it does get chilly in the morning...and cold weather is not my friend anymore...I have to like thaw out for hours...like a alligator basking in the sun...

Or in my case a small Holmes area heater..



I know I sound like a wimp...but in the cold of morning I feel like I'm in Alaska or something, and I hang onto that little heater like it's my life line...

One thing I'll say about truck heat...is it does the job...your nice and toasty in that thing in the winter time...and it costs you nothing as a company driver to stay warm...

That alone is reason for me to stay driving through the winter time...just so I can stay warm....

I wish I weren't so set on this...but I am...
I could make my life so much easier if I would just surrender myself to the situation...
(what is wrong with me head?)....

But right now my life is very circular...in that I'm doing the same things over and over...the same tasks...

I clean truck, truck gets dirty again..then I come home...I clean where I live...it gets messy again...

by the time I'm finished...I'm back in truck, getting caught up logs and paper work...

I need to break that circle...that pattern of nothingness...



Just like with any prolonged marriage, it soon becomes one of convience and not fulfillment...and that's why when long term couples or marriages break up...they are lost...they weren't madly in love or anything...but still feel lost without each other...but as time goes on they adjust...

(I know you all know this, and you should know by now I kinda write for my own theropy, but an occasional misculanious reader may not understand that, and may be thinking 'Why is this guy writing on and on and on, enough already'...)

But again...it's more out of self theropy...

None of this stuff would make sense on another forum...cause most have no idea what trucking is about...

They see tv shows about it and think drivings a cake walk...that all company drivers make $1200 a week and are treated like celebrities...

And by gosh, some really are...expecially event drivers...



This is kind of a bland example...but every major event has supply trucks...concerts, bike shows, NFL, NBA, Studios...boat shows...on and on and on...these drivers are literally around high power people and events all the time...and their trucks reflect that...spotless...expecially if they have sponsored logo on trailer...spotless...

And they have to be on time and carry themselves on a higher par...cause they, their rig, and what their carrying is always center stage...

It's a more celebrity orientated type driving...driving for a Race car team ect...you've all seen them out there, and their trucks...

It would be nice to have one comment on what it's like...but you'd be hard pressed to find one of them dinking around on the computor...or maybe there's a sub forum on here specifically for that type of running...I'm sure there is...

That's why I say it's so important, if your just starting, to really think about how you want trucking to work for you down the road...and really do try to treat it like a career, and not just a job...

If you treat it like a job, you'll get burned out...trucking can't just be a job, it has to be a career with set goals...or you'll end up like me...burned out, frustrated and mad...

And I''ve slept around with so many various trucking companies...


That after a while none of them want to marry you anymore...

What companies want now is 'loyalty'...that's the new model...implamented by the people on top, who have no idea what's like on the bottom...
Administrators, who sit in judgement of drivers, come in with corporate models to how to run things, what to look for, driver evaluations and so on...but none have ever been in a truck , nor can relate to driver specific issues or stresses...

They're instead trying to evaluate drivers as if it's Apple computer company...where employees are home everyday, go to events weekly, party together, host events at their homes...

To them, the admins, you should love your job...and shouldn't want to leave...so if you've had 3 jobs in 5 years, they think your a borderline rebel...

You owe them no less than 20 years of your life...and there was a time when many drivers gave it...

But a lot has changed over the years...mindsets, society, personal needs...
I haven't time to go into all of that...

Bottom line for this post...if your new or thinking about driving...take your job seriously...have a plan...set goals...and look at it long term...and have a good support system...

But if you just want to have a quick love affair with trucking...you'll get burned out...

And if you do quit, do it properly...for how you quit and how you performed on the job will follow you around forever...companies trade information on drivers like the stock market...one minute your hot, the next minute your dropped...

 

As a driver, you often feel like your held prisoner to someone elses scheduale...

For instance...even though I'm home now...the day's uncertain...deceptive...for although I'm not in truck now...the stress of wondering when that phone is going to ring, prevents me from 'living'...'doing' other things...cause as soon as I go ahead and get into something.
....ring ring ring....

Have load for you...must pick up asap...must be there 5 minutes ago...and it delivers in Hotcrossbuns, VA at 2:30 am...you will need $200 for lumper...will pay you back with proper reciepts...
Stop whatever your doing, and go get this load!!
I control your life, I am your life! You will obey me...now go go go....

It's like a emotional trap...cause as soon as think you might have the whole full day off...
ring ring ring....

That would be a welcome ring to someone who wasn't burned out...I mean that's what you want, is loads, work, money...but when your burned out it's meaningless...like sex in a loveless marriage...(well the guy might think otherwise, as long as he's getting sex...I don't think sex is ever meaningless to a guy...hmm)

Anyways...I'm going to head out to truck and get caught up on paper work and logs...I'd rather do trigonometry...



Seems a lot less intimidating to me than these darn logs and paper work...oh well....

 

I will thoroughly be tested tonight...it's going to get cold...
Maybe I'll light a bon fire...

Anyways...all that aside...a few current thoughts...

Seems the front line to finding a job can be the ugliest...not that I want one yet...but I called a trucking place, for the guy I drive for, more for his benefit than mine...

But from the get go in this industry...it seems as soon as you identify yourself as a driver or O/O over the phone...the master/slave or I'm smart/you dumb mentality begins...

Before you identify yourself as a driver...the tone is equal...there is no condecention or snarky remarks...but as soon as you identify yourself as a driver...oh boy...here comes the chains, the 'your just a truck driver, so you must be dumb, therefore I can talk to you anyway I want' tone...

Only with me, that crap don't fly anymore...I tell them to kiss off...
Right away I tell them...and it's usually those snotty, sit in warm office all day feeling more important than you really are, young receptionist....

It amazes me how they think they can speak for the boss, owner and everyone else at the company...

It's like the same lady answers the phone no matter what company you call...she must out sorce herself or something...cause you get that same snobby attitude...

They, the office workers at these trucking companies, instantly start trying to condition you to accept your second class status as a driver...

These are the same people you see driving home on the freeway in their smart cars, creating traffic jams..



'Get out of my way, I'm headed to Starbucks coffee after a long day of bossing drivers around...I sent one way out to Wyoming, even though they live in Dallas and needed to be home...when will he learn I'm his 'daddy'.....
By they way, this car runs on Spam and toast and butter...super effeciant...I'd never drive one of those polluting diesel things that drivers do...Honk Honk...

Ahh...the next few months are gonna be very interesting...very...

But you know what...I'm ready for it...I'm up for the challenge...most of the people unemployed are the Starbucks crowd...with specialty jobs like
'
Supervisor to the superviser marketing chief'...say what??

I could always join the local union...costs money though...but there is no application...just a fee, and your in...but work is slow right now...

We'll see...

Darn cats running around on the roof, making love and having sex...I hate that...let me go deal with these cats...back soon...

 

I'll answer in more detail tomorrow...but real quick, about pay...

Many companies I work for have been large mileage pay companies...therefore pay scale or mileage pay, is set nation wide...and not Florida specific...Like Werner for instance or Scheider...there pay reflects a nationwide scale...

In order to get a Florida specific salary that reflects local geographic pay trends...then one would have to get an hourly local job...Which I have rarely ever had...it's either been mileage or % pay...

To get a hourly pay check...you usually gotta drive one of these...



A small to midsized box truck, which usually runs out of a warehouse where there are many stops throughout the day and hand or cart unloading...

But there was a SE company hireing a few weeks ago...and I do believe they were paying around 12 an hour...and some change...for about 10-14 hour shifts...

But you'll be hard pressed anywhere to find hourly pay for any 53 ft trailer driving that goes out of city...

Most hourly truck jobs...you'll either drive the box truck or this type of truck...



That is if your company...now if your a lease owner dump driver...of course you get paid by the load, or percentage...

There are so many variable in this equation...and I'm not even including companies like yellow freight and UPS that haul parcels...but even within those companies, pay structure varies...

Garbage trucks get hourly pay also...



There are so many types of truck jobs that most on here never consider...most on here just think of semi truck driving...but ones truck career could really branch off into a more specialty area if that is ones ambition...water trucks for construction, oil trucks, sweeper trucks...on and on and on...

Most of those jobs pay hourly, and your asured to be home every night and or day...

 

Hi...goodmorning...



It's cold but sunny out here...if I were a polar bear I'd go to the beach...

Well here's how things are going so far...

Like I always tell you all, employment is like a marriage...you sign a contract and all, emotional connections are made...played, and balanced all throughout this 'marriage'...

And like any marriage, when you seperate yourself...sometimes emotions, well you know...if you've ever been married for real...than you know...

Jeliousy, revenge, anger, frustration at the thought of loosing someone you once loved or had a relationship with...

And that's kind of what's going down now with company the guy i work for is leased to...i think their upset that he's ending lease, when I leave...

It's not the largest company in the world, so every truck has a sizeable impact on revenue...

But that being said, I'm no ones slave...and time after time after time, i told them not to run me into the ground, leaving me with no personal time...I told them that eventually it would burn me out...and it did...

I would come into office dirty and tired, and they'd all be sitting there clean and refreshed....I'm wrecking my life and health, and not so much as a thank you...

It's not their fault though...they're good people...they just don't know better cause their not the ones out there running all night from 11:30 pm till 6:30 am after being up all the previous day....

They don't understand what that does to your body soul and mind...

It wears you down, even starts to effect your immune system...and add junk food on top of that and no place to shower...and it's a recipy for burn out...

But until they come ride along with you...they will never understand that...

And I was put down here to be more than just someones mindless labour...

At least when I was homeless I had a voice...and people knew my personality...and as such I felt alive...

But when I bury myself in that truck upon weeks at a time in complete total isolation...I can feel my spirit dying...and I'm not having that...

when i'm home I look better, I feel better, I move around more...my circulation is better I sleep better...

And I don't have to face challenges alone...and believe me, they will come...

I need to break this loop, cycle I'm in of self isolation...that trucking often get's you into...

I want to live again...feel alive...interact with people on a daily basis...build relationships...all the things that use to make life enjoyable...

I walked down the street today, something I haven't done in a long time...and that simple activity made me feel 'connected' again...to just walk down the sidewalk in the neighborhood felt good...to feel the sun, the cold breeze...to chat with the guy up at the corner market...it all felt good...

And I contrast that with the last few months...and as such the decision for me to go forward is easy...

To be continued on next post.....

 

I have personality...so I must find a job that exploits that...

I'm like Jack Benny or something in real life...

Or the rat pack...



It's the kind of life I want...I see myself as a celebrity, and as such I treat those around me as celebrities...the kind of 'everyones important syndrome'....

If you see value in yourself, you'll see it in others...

I kinda got that Vegas showbiz demenor...


As such, i don't need to be locked up and hidden in a truck 24/7...

Around people who have all sorts of issues and judgements they want to apply towards you...

That world is to small for me...I want to be apart of the world where people go when they want to escape, and feel like a million bucks...

I use to drive cabs for a short while...and so many of my custimers would personally request me...cause I wasn't stone faced and one dimensional like the other cab drivers...I actually had spunk, and would make my custimors laugh, and engage them in conversation and initiate conversation on whatever level...

Why?
Cause I see everyone as being gold....

Even though most don't see me that way...expecially in this industry...

Self loathing seems to be the template in this industry...and it rubs off on others....

People drive around all day listening to hateful talk radio all day, and they get trapped and isolated in talk radio land...where all you do is judge and blame...and it effects your attitude towards others...suddenly everyone becomes a villian to you...bad, the reason for your failings...cause Rush said so or cause Beck said so...

Pretty soon it's like being in a rubber room on wheels...



Maybe I'll even start going to church again, and try to intigrate myself back into normal society...

I just want to live a little, before I die...

Right now...trucking simply makes me feel like I'm in a waiting room for death....like the final stage of death...

Or to be fair...the particular trucking route I've been on...

(this is not really a thread for begginers, those just starting off cause unless you've driven for a while, you won't be able to read this in proper context)

If your just starting off as a new driver...I suggest you don't even read this thread...

This thread is more for the battle weary...those who have been in the trenches for a while...




Anyways...time to wrap this one up...I've got some living to do...
And that will include making mistakes, getting embarraced, humiliated and the rest...but it is from these trenches, that heros arise....

 

Severed....



Ok, I know I'm emotionally done now...I'm getting into something else...

In person, I'm loud and boustrious, like Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Caddy Shack when he's strolling through the dinning hall...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsQ0LX4LZ6c

That's just me...

Life is short...and I want to live while alive...bring the noise...but in a elegant upper class fun loving way...

I'm excited...this is the best move I've made in a long while...heck...I may even go out tonight...we'll see...