You'll probably guess where I found it

It pays $.54 per mile by the hub. All loads weigh between 10k and 20k. During the summer months, all loads run North of I80. During the winter months, all loads run South of I20. During the spring and autumn months, all loads run between I20 and I80. No loads move into or out of the Northeast.
There is nothing East of Ohio or North of the Potomac rivers. The minimum length of haul is 1500 miles. Home time is allowed weekly if desired. Special load assignments will be given to those living in the Northeast when home time is requested. All tractors are KW W900L's no more than 2 years old with a minimum of 550 HP power. All tractors have V-Cube satillite receivers with 19 inch flat screen tv and dvd players. All trailers are dry boxes less than 4 years old. All dispatch is computer generated to prevent any favoritism. Wash policy allows a tractor trailer was once a week. Maintainance and road support are flawless.

Indeed, this is the perfect place for the over the road driver. By now, you might be asking where I found this company. Well, the truth is that I thought it up out of my head. To be sure, if you think any company like this really exists, you can join me in a state of being out of your head. There is no such animal. One can, however, dream; or, in the extreme, One can but hope.