I have a question for you guys hopefully you can help me out on this. I just totaled up the load information for my dad's next couple loads after he'd called. He's had 1400 miles to turn in the next 2 days delivery at 7am. Didn't get out of town until 9 am this morning. Had to unload and reload 200 miles away then head out east. My question is how can I get him to learn how to say no that's not going to work to his dispatcher? He instilled in me...along with a few members of the forum through their posts that you need to learn as a new driver when to say no to your dispatcher. How do you get a veteran to realize that? He's been doing this for a few weeks now and the past couple weeks just through talking to him I can tell he's starting to go down hill. He's not calling in as often, he's dead tired most of the time, he got in an accident a few weeks ago (no injury, no ticket, but at fault), when he does call he's irritable as hell, and sounds like he's completely wore out and burnt out. I just think he's running himself way to hard and worrying way to much. I don't know how to get it through his head that he needs to tell dispatch no I can't do this legally or safely with the time frame you've given me! I'm just really worried about him right now but I can't get through to him. I asked him what the name was on the side of the truck and the MC number, and who was sitting in the seat (that's what he always told me) but it didn't seem to click with him. And going back through and looking at his logs I'm starting to see mistakes that he's never made in the past. Little ones, like not writing down his miles driven or forgetting a BOL #. Just little things that he's never for got in the past but he's now forgetting to do. I know he doesn't want to screw things up with this, because he likes who he's working with and likes what he's doing but there has to be a point in time where enough is enough. I don't feel like getting a phone call about a truck being in a ditch. Seems like the past week that's the call I've been waiting for. I just don't know what to do. He's been worried since we started about the company CSA score and keeping that clean and running by the book and making sure everything was safe but it seems as though he's lost sight of that by pushing himself like he is. I dropped his bills off last week and talked to his dispatcher and she said he's constantly worried about making his deadlines and everything and she's explained to him to just calm down regroup and not worry so much but it don't seem like any of us can get through to him about it. I don't know I need some help with this I'm all ears if anybody's got some advise on what to say or do to try and get him to realize what he's doing's going to get himself hurt or killed. thank.
Take him to lunch or dinner, a neutral area to talk too, and tell him the truth and your concerns, based on how you are seeing it, it sounds like he his burning out and has lost some focus. CSA is going to be more important in the future, when I hire someone to haul one of the loads for us, I do look at the CSA score on them. It may be as easy as him, taking some time off to focus on him, and if so - do something for him self, take a real vacation, take a ride on the Harley for a few days (you know what I mean). I would rather have someone haul my freight safe and sound and be a little late, than fast and reckless. Freight will move with or with-out him. The game we are all in is life, to win, we have to outlast the other, pacing your self is the key, I was like that highly focus on my job until I was told to get a life-that came from people in the bank I did business with, that started to open my eyes, I didn't see it at first but my wife and friends had to set me down and talk to me and they shared there concerns, I started to change my job approach at work and figured out how to get the dog to start waging his tail again, instead of the tail waging the dog. Much happier now, less stress and have a better approach to my work than in the pass, it happens, and it happens to a lot of good people because they care about there work, and lose sight of them self's, until a close family member, or friend takes the time, and sets down to talk to them, because they care . Try to do it in a neutral area, share your concerns, and help him to get the dog to start wagging his tail again, because it sounds like the tail is wagging the dog at this time. Just my 2 cents
Have you asked him if he can simply pull himself together? He's in a rut. He's looking for a reason to get angry, give it to him.
He's definitely dedicated to his job. Easy to understand why your worried. Just come out and tell him," your family loves you to much to see you stressing out over these loads. Let's get in touch with dispatch and come up with a more reasonable schedule." Any company worth even driving for should work with a dedicated, quality minded driver like your father. God Bless!!
My 19 year old son had to have this conversation with me about 6 weeks ago, yet I still have no advice to give other than be understanding whats on his mind may have nothing to do with trucking, but in the job is where its most noticed and most dangerous due to just thinking about other things while driving. It was hard for me to let my boy finish what I started, but was best for me at the time. Till I can do it right again we parked our truck, I'm just thankful he was there to give our customer time to find another truck to take care of his needs. I'm sure you will find a way to talk to him about it. If all else do what was done to me, "Dad I know that trucking is all you have wanted to do all your life, your running yourself in the ground I love you and am worried about you I cant take it no more this is important to you but you are important to us what would we do without you. You have to let me help you" It will all work out for you I'm sure God bless
I think "wore out" said it best, and with 1st hand experience. It may also have to do with other things besides trucking on his mind. We all have increased intensity of stubbornness at two stages of our life. When we are greenhorns & young and when we are older & above our prime. I feel for your situ, but you can only do... what you can do. Ask him if HE considers that he is pushing himself a bit too hard. The answer to that may give you more insight on his true feelings. Best you can do is just have a sit-down with him and show him how serious your concerns are. Try to reason with him, but always keep in mind that he's endured MANY stresses/challenges throughout his life, and this heavy work schedule may be one of the lesser ones, comparatively. I wish both of you well.
THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR THE REPLIES!!! I talked to him yesterday when he got into bloomsburg. He was a little late but he made it in one piece. He still sounds burnt out and worried about things. I know he's got a lot on his mind with things at home. He'd sat up there for about I talked to him around 3 and he called back home around 6ish or 7 and was still waiting to get unloaded. He was getting detention and we told him to go to sleep but he was worried about them not getting him unloaded and possibly putting him farther behind. We're worried about him but he'll get home next weekend and hopefully I can get home and sit down and talk to him. I'm still worried about him but I'm thinking of ways to get his mind off things while he's on the road. He takes everything with him, always has, and I think it's just a matter of getting him something that can take his mind off what's at home so he's got more focus on the road. He's said a few times now that he doesn't know if he's cut out for OTR, and I've talked to the guys I'm hooking on with they were talking about using my flatbed for some local work, I'm going to talk to them tomorrow to see if they might have some options for him to do. I talked to his dispatchers Tuesday, they said not to worry about it, and he was doing fine, and they were happy with him. They knew about this load being a tight on time, and to do what he could. He really enjoys the people he's working with, and says he likes what he's doing, but I'm worried about him for sure. I'll do what I can to sit down and talk with him, and see if I can't find a few options for him. We'll just have to sit down and talk about it next time he gets home. Once again thank you everybody for you're help!!!! Be safe out there and god bless!!!
I am a dispatcher for a decent sized company. Right now I have 48 drivers that I manage. There have been a handful of occasions where I have had one of my drivers end up in the same situation. Every time I would talk to them on the phone they would seem upset or angry. Sometimes toward me. They might complain about a load or something as small as needing an advance for tolls, lumper, scales, etc. At those times I have told my driver that they need to calm down and take a break. Either they need to go ahead and get a restart or maybe just an overnight. Just to get their minds somewhere else. One occasion I told one of my drivers I was making him do a restart and he cursed me up one side and down the other. If I didn't give him a load he was going to park the truck and leave it where it was. Eventually he stopped arguing with me and I told him I would call him the next day to see how he was doing. The next morning I called him first thing when I got in the office and he thanked me for it. He realized that he needed that break and the next day his 34 was over and I got him back on the miles and he has been fine since. I always tell my drivers if you want it I am going to keep you moving down to minutes on your 70 and then the recap. If you need a break just let me know. If they work hard and do their job like a professional driver then I will work with them any way I can. Anyway, I guess my point is.... Maybe you can talk to his dispatcher and maybe have them force him to take a break sometimes when he is in a funk. Talk to him and try to get him to understand that when he is high strung like that he is a safety concern as well. If he is a good driver and creating revenue for the company (since that is what we are all here for) they should work with him. I hope this helps out your situation.
