Best way to secure this?

Your eyes are working fine, but your funny bone and sense of humor must be on the fritz, as @Arctic_fox points out....it's a meme.

 

Would have been funnier if they made the straps look like duct tape.

 

If you look closely, you can't see any rachets, so looking at the color, I think you're missing the indication that it is Scotch Tape, holding down Duct Tape.