Well that's a good point, not like the man is my overbearing father. Man is retired USAF and knows how to really be a d!ck
What you need to do is to calm down and relax because loads cancel in this industry...one piece of advice is to relax and look at big picture and rethink...also are you booking your loads so tight with no room for error??
You want to know what successful trucking is? When you get to be in your mid 50's, and you can still take a giant crap in the morning.
I have heard of other Schneider Finance drivers running into health issues and Schneider paused the lease (no payments) and resumed again when you could work again, with the time off added to the back end. They had to park the truck at an OC and empty it. This seems to be one benefit of leasing with SN vs a dealer or other finance company. If it happened with them they wouldn't care and would just find the truck and take it and you would be out what you put into it. If it comes to you needing some time off to heal, call SNF and ask if this is still an option.
Might be a good idea to give it up before you get too deep. I in no way mean this hateful or demeaning, but if your reaction to a cancelled load is to break your hand by beating it on your truck, you might not have the requisite temperament for the job. Part of the pressure you're feeling right now was brought on by you. You made the decision to do this while, not only being broke, but actually being behind. You further exacerbated by deciding that "home time" was much more important than running a business. Any business owner of any stripe will tell you family life will suffer in the beginning. As always, I wish you the best. But it might be better to explore other options.