Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

so was it a chicken fish or a chicken of a fish??????????????

 

Yep Creekrd, a pillow of a fish story, as Life Goes On. What a Deal !

I opened the door and Sherry pranced in. Yep, it was after 5 pm and she was Johnny on the spot.

Sherry pointed, " What is all of that and why was the door locked ? "

Capt Hook beat me to it, " Barney just ran some bikers out and shot Grand Daddy with that 12 gauge. See back in ' 75, he was the biggest fish..."

I cut Hook short, " Come on in, but I need to call Mike. Those Ghost Riders came by looking for trouble and ... "

Sherry was a drama queen, " Are you alright ? Are you sure ? They didn't hurt you or anything ? Did you call the cops ? Does Mike Know ? Is that a catfish and where did all these feathers come from ? I should of come by earlier ! It's my fault and I should of known better ! Mike said, that he was going to run those Ghost out of Dodge. He needs too ! Their just a pack of animals and we won't serve them, where I work. What's wrong ? Why are you looking at me like that ? Did I say something wrong ? Say something ! "

I rolled my eyes, " I just called Mike and he's on his way over. Sherry look ! I really don't have time to ..."

She pointed, " There's a grill back back there and I can make some of my homemade hamburgers. You'll love them and everyone says, that their the best they ever had. It won't take me long and I bet, when Mike gets here he'll want a couple himself. My secret is to put the meat ontop of the pickles, onions, tomato, mustard, katchup, and toast the buns. You see, your taste buds are on your tongue and all of the fastfood joints don't think about that. When you bite into it you'll see what I'm saying. Oh, hi Mike ! I was just telling Barney, about my secret way of fixing...."

I spoke over her, " Hey Mike ! Let's sit over here and talk a minute. "

Mike had to ask, " Where did all those feathers come from ? "

Capt Hook piped in, " Back in '75...."

I took Mike's arm, " Just sit down and I'll get us a beer. "

So, I played barkeep and Mike and I cut it up, while Capt Hook danced with a broom and swept up the you know what. Now, I wasn't really upset with Mike, I mean he was trying to work things out, but in a way. Well, he was partly to blame. You know, having a gang fight in the bar and all of that.

Mike thumbed his beard, " Like I said, their suppose to meet us tonight and we'll get this settled. Big Huskey wants you there and I said, that you would be. We can ... "

I gave the LOOK, " Do What ? I'm not meeting with him and this is between ya'll ! I just don't want Capt Hook in the middle of it and ... "

Mike gave me the Look back, " You pulled a gun on him and your buddy Hook there, he called the cops and started this whole thing ! "

I lit a 100, " That's crap and you know it ! Hook was trying to settle ya'll down and Big Huskey came in here looking for trouble ! We're not Bikers and don't have anythng to do, with any of this ! "

Mike lowered his voice, " They think that your a Brother and that's why they want you there. If we call a truce and end this, there won't be anymore trouble. I'm going to offer them a chance to join us. We can boost our membership and Big Huskey can come in handy. Anyway, here's the deal ! You scared the hell out of him and that's good ! Just play along and let me do the talking. I've got your colors and you can ride my old sporster. "

Sherry plopped down the plates, " Here ! Ya'll can talk shop later, but try these and tell me, what you think. I've got some fries on and they'll be ready in a minute. Go ahead and eat ! "

So, Mike the Beard and I dug in. Yep, it was a pretty tasty burger and the fries weren't bad either. Of course, Sherry never shut her trap and ended up sitting with us. Now, don't take me wrong ! I mean, she knew Mike and kind of knew some of the Ghost Riders, but she didn't know me at all and sure didn't know Capt Hook. Yep, she was the type that met you one minute and all of a sudden, knew everything there is. Anyway, I had other problems, besides dealing with her. Yep, like how the hell was I going to get out of this one ? What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Pjw044 it was a catfish. You know, cats love chicken, what a deal, as Life Goes On.

Mike handed me the leather jacket, " Put this on and see how it fits. "

I pulled it on, " It fits alright but this is silly ! I'm not an outlaw biker and don't even have a beard anymore. What's this W.L. patch, with the skull and bones, here on the vest ? "

Mike educated me, " That means, your the War Lord of the Brothers ! Those clasped hands on the back are our club's emblem and the chest patches signify our office positions. See, this seal here ? That means that I'm the president and our treasurer wears one, with a dollar sign. Our Sgt. of Arms has a patch showing two large arms, with Sgt's rank tatooes. "

It hit me, " Oh, I remember now ! Back when I was a cop we confiscated the Brothers charter. You know, ya'lls constitution that lays out all of the rules and regulations. Say, I can't be made an office holder ! Hell, I can't even be a member ! It says, that no x-cops or any law enforcement of any kind can ever be made a member. "

Mike thumbed the rule book, " On page 12, it reads and I quote, ' The President during times of emergency can summon and call to service any able bodied citizen to hold any office. ' "

I read it, " Wait a minute ! Page 5, here at the bottom ! All probates must commit a first degree felony that is witnessed by at least two Brothers, who will under oath, and the penality of death, confirm such act. "

Mike read, " No ! That's not what we're talking about ! That's for regular new members. See, you don't have to do that, or eat any live bugs ! I'm waving the entry rules and all you have to do is take the oath. "

I read page 3, verse 9, " Hold it ! Right here, see ! ' All Brothers must hold a class M motorcycle license'. Well, I let mine expire and all I have is my CDL, so that settles, that ! Yep, I can't ride no chopper, without the proper license. Man, if I'd known, I'd of kept them current. Sorry, I can't... "

Mike pulled a Bush, " I'm the decider ! Now, I'm officially appointing you to the ofifce of War Lord ! Raise your right hand ! Repeat after me, ' I swear to protect and defend, the constitution of the Brothers and will defend to death... ' What's wrong ? "

I confessed, " I can't take the oath ! I've already taken one and promised that I'd croak, for some other folks. "

Mike rolled his eyes , " That mafia bull ? You told me that you didn't ever take that oath ! "

I lied, " Well, maybe I did, and maybe I didn't ! I mean, it's a secret oath and I sure couldn't admit if I did. You follow me ? "

Mike thought about it, " Well, you can pledge to two oaths. You can die for them and die for us too ! What difference does it make ? "

I lit up, " Oh,! I almost forgot ! I also signed that TLX employee hand book and swore to abide by their rules. I'm pretty sure there's something about joining outlaw gangs in there. Yeah, maybe we should research this some more and .... "

Mike gave up, " Just wear the stinking colors and meet me at the club house. You can pick up my sportster there and we can make the meet. ####, your giving me a headache ! "

Sherry piped in, " I've got just the thing ! Here Mike, take two of these and they work wonders. My doctor says, that most tension headaches are really sinus related. I bet, your allergic to those feathers ! I had a good friend and she was alergic to goldfish. I kid you not and she would get the worse .. "

I had to ask, " You got a couple of more ? I feel a real do see coming on. "

What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazers, your Snazzy1.

 

Well whatta ya know... my ex-wife changed her name to Sherry and moved to TX. I wondered where she went, lol.

 

Not torture at all!!! I love reading your stories!!! My husband was home for his 34 hour reset but because it was a weekend we got a whole whoppin 68 hours together so I got to spend time with him this weekend and could not read your wonderful stories but I am all caught up again! I am looking forward to the next installment!!!!

 

Barney goes from Peace Maker to War Lord.. What a deal..

 

lilillill has found his X and Kenmar, let's see how Barney does as War Lord. Now Headley, I know your new, but true Snazzers never allow family to come first. Yep reading, as Life Goes On, is a Snazzers only reason to exist. What a Deal, as Life Goes On.

Sherry drove the Turd and we followed the Beard to the Brother's club house. It was located South of Alice County, right off of Hwy 67, in the center of the town square. Well, town square might be an over statement. The whole city couldn't of been a square mile and the popualtion was less than 300 farm/rancher types. You know, Hicksville with a capital H. Anyway, the square had a city hall that also housed the City Marshall's office and his two deputies, a hardware store, a feed store, a beauty salon, a five and time, a drug store, a bank, and several empity store fronts. Mike swung his hog inside the open bay door and we parked around back.

Sherry pointed, " This looks like an old fire hall. "

I concurred, " Yeah, I bet it use to be one. "

Mike gave us the tour, " Upstairs is the where we sleep. There's plenty of bunkbeds and we have a kitchen up there too. We can still use that pole, if we need to exit in a hurry. Over there is where we park our bikes and we have a full set of Snap Off Tools in that roll box. That's our office area and only office holders are allowed in there. "

Sherry had to ask, " Why do those bays doors have holes in them ? "

Mike grinned, " Those aren't holes, their gun ports ! Now Sherry, you'll have to wait out here. Me and Barney, have some business in the office. There's some beer in that soda machine, so help yourself. Come on, Barney ! "

Mike sat behind the desk, " Have a seat and let's talk. "

I sat, " Hey, this is a pretty neat setup. How'd ya'll manage this ? "

Mike popped a top, " It was a piece of cake. What did you think when you first saw the place ? Now, be honest ! "

I popped a top, " My first thought, was I bet the locals around here don't care for this. You know, having an outlaw biker club in the middle of their town square. Don't they raise a fuss and how about that City Marshall ? I bet, he's none too happy ! "

Mike took a swig, " Their all in the loop ! See Barney, you cops .. Well, you still think like one. Ya'll never see the big picture and it's like this. Did you ever wonder how we get by, with so much stuff ? "

I lit a 100, " Yeah, your a bunch of hardcore bullies that terrorize and try to iintimidate folks. Hell, I know how it works, but sooner or later ...."

Mile laughed, " That's where your wrong ! Think about it ! Did you ever wonder, where our members come from ? "

I blew smoke, " Yeah, most of them are ex-cons and I bet, half of them are criminally insane ! No offense Mike, but I wouldn't trust one of those Idiots as far, as I could throw him. "

Mike educated me, " They weren't hatched from eggs ! They have families and most em made it to high school. Then life dealt them a hard blow and they ended up being outcast. Where else can they go ? We don't hold nothing agains nobody ! If their willing to pay their dues and live by our code. Well, we'll take them in, as a Brother. "

I took a swig, " Well, that's fine and dandy, but when I was undercover all I saw, was a bunch of tatooed morons. Hell, most of em, don't have the brains to pour piss out of a boot ! "

Mike corrected me, " That's all a put on ! It's an act and it works pretty good. We teach them, how to play dumb and avoid being questioned. Take this setup here ! One of the Brothers has a stepdad that lives out here. He's the Mayor and runs this whole area. Now, all you saw was a small hick town and a bunch of rednecks. What do you think is the number one cash crop out here ? "

I guessed, " Probably hay, or maybe ... "

Mike shook his head, " Your not even close ! It's meth, you know, crank, speed, drug labs ! This is a goldmine ! We furnish them protection, move their product and ... "

I was shocked, " You can't tell me, that this whole area is made up of .. "

Mike rolled his eyes, " No, not everyone ! Just the ones who matter ! The Mayor, the three city council members, that flatfoot Marshall and ... "

I flipped my ashes, " Well, someone will figure it out and I bet, they'll .."

Mike had an evil grin, " That's where the fear factor comes into play. We don't screw around and a snitch is fair game ! But Barney, I'm telling you, most of squares and citizens, don't have a beef with us. They see us, as freedom fighters, against the MAN ! "

I popped another top, " Yeah I see, what your getting at ! I figured out, that alot of the so called, good citizens play both sides. You know, I worked that homicide, at the Waffle Palace that time. Hell, a whole restaurant full of witnesses and nobody saw nothen ! At first I thought, that they were afraid to come forward. But it hit me later on, that most of em hated the cops more than the Bikers. "

Mike agreed, " That's where P.R. pays off ! We socialize in the local bars and always try to put on a good image. We buy the house a round and have our ol' ladies with us. I bet half the Squares think, we're just good ol' boys that like to drink beer and ride our Hardley's ! Well their right and so what, if we bend a few laws ? As long, as John Q Citizen doesn't get his nose out of joint. I'm telling you Barn, this club is where it's at ! You listen to me and give it a chance. You'll see and change your mind, I bet you ! "

So, that was the pitch but I knew better. I mean, Mike had some good points but nothing that interested me. You know, it was just like the family. Sure the money was good and being a big shot wasn't too bad, but .. Well you know, what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I felt ackward as I mounted Mike's old sportster. Yep, it'd been awhile since I'd let her rip. No, not my pants ! I mean, hit the open road and ... Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, the bike still looked and sounded good. Of course it was no match for Mike's other bike. Yep, as President he was issued a full Hog, with all the trimmings. Anyway, Mike took the lead posistion and the Vice President rode behind him. No ! Not on the same bike ! You know, to the left and rear of Mike. Of course I rode next to the V.P, as the acting Warlord, behind and to my left was the Sgt of Arms, next to him was the Speaker of the House, to his right was the Majority Leader, followed by some Limp Wristed Page, some Fat Chick named Monica, Twenty Lobbiest, the Press Corp, Secret Service, an Open Convertible, and a hundred Unbathed Bikers. What a deal ! Now, riding in formation is quite simple. You just follow the guy in front of you and keep close to the man to your left. Yep, it's not hard and looks good. We hit the Interstate, headed North, took the Loop, headed West, and exited the exit. Mike swung in the gate and we circled the cemetery. Yes, it was an old graveyard that had seen better days. Mike gave the dismount signal. Well, he got off his Hog and pointed to the ground. Now, being a little rusty and not use to riding in formation. Well, I kind of made a boo-boo. Oh, I can hear you Snazzers now. Like ya'll have never made a mistake. Well, excuse me ! Yeah, sit there and laugh !

Anyway, what happened was this. I was a little too close to the V.P. and there wasn't room to dismount to my left. You know, it's like horseback riding and tradition calls for dismounting to your left. So, I broke tradition and dismounted to my right. It wasn't a big deal and nobody probably would had noticed, but... Well, alright ! I forgot to put down the kickstand. You know, the little doo-hickey that holds the bike up. Well of course, the Idiot behind me did, as I did and you guessed it. Yep, a hundred Hardley's all bit the dust in perfect unison. Half of the Bikers were pend under thier machines, while the others stood with blank expressions.

Mike gave me the LOOK, " Who gave the order to ditch the bikes ? "

I did my Dolly the Sheep impression, " Sorry, there Mike ! It was my fault and I forgot to ...."

Mike turned red, " Pick those up and quit messing around ! They'll be here in a minute and .... "

So, as Mike fumed the Ghost thundered in. Yep, they were in formation and looking bad. I mean, looking good..Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, there wasn't near as many of them. I'd say, we out numbered em at least two to one. But, them boys were cornfed and none under 250 lbs, of tatooed muscle and grit. What a deal !

Bug Huskey spat, " You called this meet ! What do you want ? "

Mike pointed, " Let's go over there and we can talk. Leave them here and just take one of your men. "

So, Huskey and one of his gang, followed me and Mike over to the canopy. It was a stone structure, without walls and had a metal roof that covered several wooden benches. I guess, it was for prayer services for the dearly departed. Of course, it was quiet as a church and hadn't been used in no telling when. The December night had a hint of winter and a high tension level, even the crickets chirped in a whisper.

Mike pointed his thumb, " This is our Warlord, Barney the Killer Goose. I guess, ya'll already met. "

Big Huskey gave me the LOOK, " I haven't forgotten you and we have a score to settle ! "

I offered my wing, " Oh, no hard feelings. What's done, is done and buy gones, are bye gones. Hey, I like you colors ! Did you design that yourself, or did you pay someone ? Them little Casper Ghost and them Grim Reapers, with the hoods, and .. What is that a hoe their holding ? "

Big Huskey turned his back, " No ! That's one of them sickle dealies. You know, to cut the wheat with. Get it ? He's harvesting souls and that makes the Ghost. That's how we become Ghost Riders. "

Mike had me turn and model, " See those clasped hands ? That's a sign of our unity, as Brothers. Matter of fact, years ago we were the United Brothers, but some labor union already had that name registered. "

Big Huskey nodded, " Yeah, all the good names are taken and it's not easy picking one. Hey Barn, is that your sportster ? The reason I ask, it's not something I'd let my Warlord ride. Oh, this is Raven and he's our Warlord. "

Raven nodded, " How's it going ? "

I shook his wing, " Pretty good ! Oh. that's Mike the Beard's sportster and don't let it fool you. Do ya'll know Indian Joe, out of Idiot Villiage ? He built that and it's a screaming machine ! "

Mike had heard enough, " Look, here's what I've got to offer you ! If ya'll will repatch, we'll make you full members of the Brothers. I'll allow all of your office holders, some posistion of authority and wave our probation period, for all of your members. "

Big Huskey had to ask, " Why would we want to become Brothers ? We've got our own club and ... "

Mike counted his fingers, " First, you'll become a member of a club that out numbers you two to one. Second, we're expanding and this is a great opportunity for advancement. Third, we've got enough going on to keep everyone busy. Fourth, If you don't we'll kill everyone of you ! "

Big Huskey rubbed his chin, " What about our established business ? You know, our drug trade, theft ring, prostitution, extortion, and ... "

Mike sweetened the deal, " Alright ! Whatever you have going can stay yours but anything new has to go in the pot ! Now, I need to know something soon, because there's another club that has offered to patch over and .."

Big Huskey shook his head, " We can't be rushed ! I'll have to have a council meeting and we'll have to vote. Now, if that other club decides to take your offer. Well, maybe we can work something out. You know, kill them off or do something like that. "

Mike understood, " No ! I don't mean to rush you and we offer these patch over deals pretty regular. Can you get back with me Monday ? "

Big Huskey nodded, " How about brunch on me and make sure Barney there comes along. "

So, the deal was offered and under consideration. Of course, I'd preferred a commitment sooner and not have the weekend, for second thoughts to spoil the works. But hey, who was I ? Barney Goose, carpet cleaner, mechanic, parking attendant, chauffer, roustabout, security guard, M/P, cop, trucker, mafia associate, bum, ceretified nut, owner-op, and .. outlaw biker ? What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Welp then I guess I wont tell you that our first anniversary is Sunday and hubby was able to get a load that will allow him some home time with me... so that means no reading up on the Snazzy1 this weekend...Oh crappers I wasn't supposta tell you that... Jeezzz my fingers just ratted me out!!

 

Happy 1st annivesary Headley and here's 100 Snazzy points to help celebrate. Oh wait, I'll have to fine you 50 Snazzy points for taking off. Rat Fingers ? Tell me about it, everytime on get on here mine spill the beans. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Things settled down and there wasn't much I could do until the 24th. You know, that's when I'd find out if that Boating While Intoxicated case had been filed. I was balancing my checkbook and listening to my mind voices, when knock, knock, knock, " Hey Barney, are you in there ? "

I opened up, " Hey Captain, come on in. "

Hook sat at my bar, " Say, I've been thinking and thought I'd run this by you. Since your not doing anything and I'm needing some help. Well, maybe we can work something out ? "

I was all ears, " What ya got in mind ? "

Hook pointed, " That fella who rents that shop from me decided to retire. I haven't decided what to do, but if your interested. Well, we can work something out. "

I sipped my coffee, " You talking, about that boat repair shop ? Hell, I don't know a thing about em ! "

Hook smiled, " What's to know ? You know how to work on cars and most of the work is just tune ups. You change the plugs and oil, and fill out a bill. What's hard about that ? "

So, I decided to take a look see. You know, I didn't have anything else going on and it was just a short walk away. The shop was a metal building that sat facing the dirt road, but had two overhead doors. One you could back a boat trailer into and the other had a water entrance. You know, the back door faced the lake and ... Well, you know ! Now, next to the water entrance were the fuel pumps. Yep, just like the corner gas station boaters could fill their tanks and be on their way. It was a neat setup and the place stayed busy. I'd met the old fella that had leased it and he was ... Well, he was alright but not real friendly. Anyway, Hook wanted to give me the nickel tour, so we walked over. Well, he walked and I sashayed. What a deal !

Hook rolled up the door, " That's the office there and this is the service bay. Back there is the dock area and that lift there, can lift about anything. All you need are some hand tools and we can work out some sort of commission. You know, 40/60, 50/50, or anything reasonable. "

I was impressed, " Man ! This is bigger inside than I thought. Does that air compressor work and what's that over there ? "

Hook opened the lid, " That's a vat to clean parts in and that compressor works fine. Yeah, all you need are your tools and your in business. Oh, here's a list of customers you need to call. They've been waiting for repairs and most of em are old customers. Give them a call and I'll be back later to help get you started. Have we got a deal ? "

So, we did. I mean, why not ? Hell, I wasn't doing anything anyway and it'd help tide me over, until things worked out. Well you know, what I mean. So, I called a few numbers and let em know that Hook's Marina Boat Repair was back in business. What a deal ! "

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.