Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yep Pj, even the great Snazzy1 sometimes has to read over these insane, but truer than fiction tales, as Life Goes On.

We were headed Westbound, over the Washington bridge, as I climbed from the sleeper. Eugene was his cheery self and was listening to the Christian Rock channel. The early spring sunrise melted away the misty dew and slowly awoke the City that never sleeps. I poured myself a a hot one, from my go juice thermos and sat silently in the co-chair.

Eugene spoke first, " Good morning Mr Goose. Did you sleep well ? "

I grunted, " Ugghh, ugghh, morning yourself, ####, I hate getting up ! "

Eugene turned down the choir, " What were those two big buildings called that we passed yesterday ? You told me, but I forgot. "

I rubbed my face awake, " What buildings ? Oh ! The Twin Towers ? "

Eugene snapped his fingers, " That's it ! You know what they look like when the sun is reflecting off of them ? "

I took a sip, " #### that coffee is hot ! No ! Tell me ! "

Eugene paused, " They look just like two golden rails headed to heaven. "

I lit up a 100, " Yeah, sure they do. So, where are we headed to ? "

Eugene filled me in, " They finished loading us around 4 am, so I signed for everything. We're headed back to Seattle, so I punched in the Quail-Com that we're on our way. I did alright, didn't I ? "

I fingered the Quail, " You did just fine ! Oops, we have a message to call Ed. Tell you what ! Let's go ahead and make the Penn State line. There's a Pile-Lot truckstop there and I feel like some breakfast. How about you ? "

Eugene laughed, " I can eat 24/7 ! Oh ! Mr Goose, I need to ask you about all of these meals. How does that work ? They never told us about that in orientation. Do they deduct that from my check ? "

I blew smoke, " No ! I pay for our meals ! Hell, I do that for all of my ..."

Eugene shook his head, " That's not fair ! I eat three times what ..."

I acted offended, " Don't tell me what fair is ! So far, you've out done all of the other students that I've trained ! If I can't afford a few meals, then I'll quit driving ! "

Eugene protested, " I can pay my part ! "

I gave Eugene the look, " Your making me rich and driving for peanuts ! Now, don't make me have to hurt you ! "

Eugene snickered, " Oh, don't do that ! I'll let you pay for everything ! You know Mr Goose, your a good man, and I mean that ! "

I blushed, " Well, some folks might disagree with you about that ! "

So, Eugene held the wheel, as I sat and pondered over things. You know how you revisit conversations and rethink what was said. Yep, I kind of wondered if Eugene would have had the same opinion of me. You know, if he only knew, what all of you Snazzers know. Yep, a man that drank like a fish, had sex with an underage girl, screwed up his marriage, couldn't cut it as a cop, abandoned his kids, for a young Sweet Thang, drove drunk, had Mafia ties, and his feet stunk. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Ah the morning repast of coffee and a smoke (hack,cough). A time to reflect on things past,events of the future and what will be. To ponder the wonders of this great country of ours and to.....uuummm,aaaahhhh
? mafia ties, dui,drinker and SMELLY FEET...OMG Saint Snazz, what are you saying !!!

 

I remember my bedspread having sort of a "grid" pattern which turned out to work really good as a layout of highways and local roads. Set up my Texaco gas station, and head out in my Texaco truck to get the heating fuel to the local folks.

I'm 55 now and it looks like it's time to play truck driver again! Come on over Snazzy and bring your earth movers. We got cities to build!!

 

pj......go all the way back to page 1 and start reading. You wont be able to put this book down.

 

You got that right. My favorite soap As Life Goes On.

 

First, a big Snazzy welcome to Bjaymo3 who recalls the good old days. Now, I do believe that Pj is pulling our Snazzy legs about being in the dark. Good ole Lobshot is still with us, so lets see what happens, as Life Goes On.

Ring, ring, " This is Ed ! "

I was me, " It's Barney ! What's up ? "

Ed shuffled some papers, " Your at the Pa, Pilot Truckstop and just fueled. "

I agreed, " Yep, Ed ! Your GPS board is working just fine. Now, what's up ? "

Ed whispered, " I need you to do me a favor. We had a driver quit and he abandoned the truck in Lancaster, Pa. That load he was under delivers in Kent, Washington. I need you to go get the truck and make that delivery. "

I was confused, " Ed ! What about the load I'm under ? I've got a student with me and ...."

Ed was Ed, " I know ! Now, listen to me ! Ya'll just go up there and have Eugene drop you off. It's not but a few miles from where ya'll are at. Then Eugene can follow you, in your truck. You can make that haz-mat delivery in Kent, Washington. Eugene can make that Seattle delivery and I've got two loads that pickup in Portland. Ya'll can meet up there and come straight back to Dallas. Do you think that Eugene can handle this ? "

I was honest, " Ed, he's a good driver, but I'm not sure. Don't you have an experienced team that can do this ? "

Ed was Ed, " I wouldn't be having ya'll handle it if I did ! Now, the only thing that you need to remember, is this ! That load of Haz-mat has got to be there ASAP ! You'll have to run team miles ! You know, nonstop, pedal to the metal, and get her done ! "

I protested, " Wait a minute Ed ! How can we run team miles if we're driving separate trucks ? "

Ed bribed me, " Alright ! A penny more per mile..."

I finished his sentence, " That's $80 more per week ! Ed ! It's not the money that worries me ! It's Eugene ! He's either going to have to keep up with me, or get left behind. You know, he's only been out here ..."

Ed was Ed, " That haz-mat load is a brand new client of ours. We stand a chance of getting them as a dedicated account ! Now, how's it going to look if we screw up the first load ? Now, Barney this comes straight from Crook Jr. He's counting on you and so am I ! Hell, the whole company is and it means more than you can imagine. That company is a top fortune 500 and if we play our cards right ! We'll end up doubling ..."

I gave in, " Alright ! Alright ! I'll get her done ! But Ed, I've got to run this by Eugene ! It's his CDL being put on the line ! I know what I'm getting myself into, but he'll have to decide for himself ! "

Ed buttered me up, " Barney Goose ! You can sale Eskimo pies in the North Pole. Now, get Eugene on board and don't let us down ! I'll owe you one ! "

So, I hung up the phone and looked over at Eugene. He was seated right across from me and listening to my half of the conversation. The restaurant was roaring with trucker chat, as the waitress severed our breakfast.

The Waitress tossed the plates, " You were the dozen over easy, pound of bacon, hash browns, gravy, and biscuits. You were the tall stack, waffles, oatmeal, side order of ham, and ..."

Eugene hung his head, " That's all mine, Mr Goose hasn't ordered yet. "

I laughed, " Bring me what he's having. No ! I'm just kidding ! I'll have the number 3, hash browns, with white gravy, and biscuits. Can you put a rush on it ? I'll tip you an extra nickel ! "

The Waitress flirted, " For you honey ? I'll have it here in two shakes ! "

My eyes followed her wiggly butt, " Alright Eugene ! Here's the deal ! Ed's in a jam ! He needs us to do the impossible. Now, this is up to you ! We need to scoot over to Lancaster, Pa and pickup an abandoned truck. It has to be in Kent, Washington ASAP ! It's under a load of haz-mat, so here are your choices. You can run outlaw behind me and try to keep up, or you can run legal and meet me at the other end. What do you want to do ? "

Eugene gave me the look, " Mr Goose, you can't just leave me all by myself. Isn't there some other way ? "

I was honest, " Nope ! Now, I'll tell you what ! If you stay on my back door and don't fall behind. Well, chances are we'll do just fine. I plan to run fast and hard. That means pretty much nonstop and pushing the speed limits. Eugene, I'm not going to lie to you ! There's always the chance of getting a speeding award, or a logbook violation. I'll try to keep from speeding over 15 mph, so it won't be a serious infraction. You know, how it is now ! So, what do you think ? "

Eugene had to ask, " Mr Goose, what do you think that I should do ? "

I was honest, " You aught to call Ed and tell him to go to hell ! You should tell me to do the same ! You should ...."

Eugene chuckled, " Mr Goose ! I'll follow you anywhere ! Just remember that I'll do my best and try my hardest. "

So, Eugene and I finished our hardy meal and set sail. To be honest about it, I hated putting Eugene between a rock and a hard place. You know what I mean ! He was just starting out and didn't really know what end was up. Yep Snazzers, there are, and always will be companies that will push you to your limits. Now, I know what your thinking ! Why didn't I just tell Ed to kiss off and threaten to go to the DOT ? Well, in the real world of trucking. You know, not in some classroom where they preach safety, doom, and gloom. You know, there are times that hard decisions have to be made. I'm not going to defend why I chose to play the odds. Matter of fact, I'm not sure why I did half of the things that I did. Anyway, just remember to always think twice, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Why is the hair standing up on the back of my neck?

 

Lifes adventures are kinda like playing Craps in Las Vegas.............
Sometimes all you roll are 7s & 11s.........
And sometimes .....aaaaawwww Crap.....

 

Well Snaz, I am still with ya here. I have been busy and not able to read on a daily basis, ya know trying to get a sweet Georgia Peach up this way and work too.

Keep the tales coming and I will keep reading every chance I get.

 

I see that Pj is playing the odds, Lobshot has a hairy neck, and Sandlapper equates this to being a Soap Opera. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

I swung into the deserted parking lot and spied the abandoned rig. It was hidden in plain view. You know, a big rig parked in a once active shopping mall that long since had turned into an eyesore.

I pulled the yellow knob, " It's right where Ed said it'd be ! They used the GPS to track it and had her shut down right where she is sitting. "

Eugene had to ask, " They can do that ? "

I nodded, " With that Global Satellite System they can do about anything. They can track your every move, know how fast your going, where you've been, how many rpms the engine has spun, check for any malfunctions, know when to perform maintenance, shut her off, and a bunch of other things. You know they can even listen in on us ! "

Eugene was shocked, " How can they do that ? "

I lit up a 100, " That Tell-Star system can call up the computer and it will answer the phone. You won't even hear it ring ! Then all the office does is listen in. "

Eugene rolled his eyes, " That's why you unplugged that receiver ! Man ! It's scary that they can do all of that ! "

I blew smoke, " Yep, if they wanted to, they could hide a mini video camera in here and see everything that goes on ! "

Eugene whistled, " Man ! That's Big Brother and then some ! "

I fingered the Quail, " I'm sending Ed the we got here message and having him turn the truck back on. Now, Eugene go ahead and do a pretrip, but check that sleeper first ! If anyone is in there tell them to pack their gear and get the hell out ! "

Eugene looked worried, " You think that he's still in there ? Mr Goose I don't want any trouble and he might have a gun ! "

I laughed, " I doubt that ! I bet that driver lives somewhere around here and is just happy to be off that hunk of junk ! Man ! Look at it ! He must of gone four wheeling. That rig hasn't seen a Blue Bee Can since it was new ! "

So, Eugene tip toed towards the abandoned rig, as I finished fingering Ed the latest update. I gathered up my necessities, you know, some clothes, my road Atlas, calculator, logbooks, clipboard, and other crap. I sashayed over and joined Eugene under the hood.

Eugene thumbed her dipstick, " Mr Goose she's low on oil and that front tire is low. I didn't see anyone inside ! "

I tossed my gear in, " Go ahead and get a gallon of oil out of my side box and hook up my air hose. I'll see if I can find the paperwork. Man ! It's a mess in here ! "

So, Eugene added oil, aired up the tires, and played mechanic. I found the paperwork inside the driver's door pocket and read over it. I slid back the sleeper curtain, but the smell drove me back. I spotted the source, so I slipped on my right hand glove and held my nose with my left hand.

I tossed the maggot sandwich, " Here ! Catch Eugene ! "

Eugene jumped backwards, " What is that ? "

I laughed, " It's your lunch ! Man ! This guy must of been a pig ! "

Eugene snickered, " Look at that Mr Goose ! It's crawling on it's on ! "

So, we joked around and got our chores done. I just threw my gear on the bottom bunk and didn't take time to unpack. We were racing the clock, so I gave Eugene his final pep talk.

I blew smoke, " Just stay on channel 16 and I'll drop down there if I need to yell at you. I'll be on 19 listening for Smokey reports and keeping an eye out for any locals. Now, if you have to get a hold of me just break 19 for a 10-16. That'll be our code to go to 16. You got that ? "

Eugene nodded, " What happens if we get stopped or I break down ? "

I thumbed my beard, " If I get pulled over, just keep going, and I'll catch up. If you get stopped, just play it kool, and be nice. I doctored up our comic books to look legal for now. What we need to do is to get as far down that big road, as we can ! We'll stop for a catnap once we're halfway there ! Hopefully that'll be about 16 hours from now. Just follow my lead and keep that door shut ! Oh crap ! I'll have to stop and fuel, this thing is showing on empty ! "

So, Eugene played follow the leader, as I pulled into the nearest one to fuel at. We drained our lizards, stocked up on plenty of goodies, and set sail. Now, that old T-600, that I was saddled up with was a real dog. She was just plume wore out and on her last legs. To make matters worse, that load of Haz-mat scaled the rig out at just under 79,000 lbs. Yep, the trailer was filled with 55 gallon drums of corrosive acid. She acted top heavy and was a handful to deal with.

I broke 16, " How about you Big One ! You back there ? "

Eugene keyed up, " I'm still behind you Mr Goose ! "

I was all business, " Just keep me in sight and don't fall behind ! If you lose me just keep the hammer down and give me a shout on 19 ! "

So, Eugene and I did what the sign said, '90'. Of course that wasn't the speed limit, but hey ! I mean, we were getting her done ! Now, I'd done some calculating and speculating. Yep, we were under the gun, but it was doable. According to the paperwork, that no longer employed driver had been under that load for a good 2 days. So, we were lucky that it wasn't a JIT load. You know, Just In Time, or better known as NIT, Never In Time. Anyway, with just a little luck and some heavy right feet, we'd still manage to deliver before the deadline. I sucked down as much go juice, as I could, and kept a steady hand on the wheel. Eugene never uttered a word of discontent and did a fine job of playing follow the Idiot, eer..leader. Well, the big ball fell and the darkness came. We'd run a good ways and were near the halfway mark.

I keyed 16, " Hey ! Big One ! Let's slip in there for a catnap ! "

Eugene agreed, " Man, Mr Goose ! I'm glad you said that ! "

I swung in, " Let's go ahead and fuel ! "

So, we fueled up, did our inspections, and parked next to each other. I have to admit, that I was ready for 40 winks. Anyway, after a quick dash to the mens room, a few nibbles of Greasy Spoon Special, we bedded down.

I was honest, " I hope you don't mind me sleeping on the top bunk. That Kenworth stinks to high heaven ! "

Eugene understood, " I don't know how you drove it ! I sleep on the floor here and can't fit in that bottom bunk. You can have it ! "

I climbed on top, " No ! I'm fine up here ! Now, I set that alarm to go off in four hours. We'll need to head out at the crack of dawn ! Eugene ? "

Yep, poor Eugene was sawing logs and out like a light. I couldn't blame him, because we'd ran harder than the law allowed. With just a little more luck and another 16 hours wheel time, we'd manage the impossible. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.