I have been getting ready to prepare for OTR trucking...did I miss something ?

Oh, don't forget to get a high performance General Lee connex Galaxy Quest 10 meter radio with a supercharged linear with a external coil antenna and crank it up so high that when you key your mic, the Mars Rover shorts out.

 

Go on a long drive and fart a lot so your jeans get good and stinky. Not wiping after your last bowel movement helps also. Then walk into a truck stop and stand around in the fuel line spreading your fumes on all those standing behind you.

 

Ewwwwww I bet there is that one sticky arsed guy out there too , oops forgive my ignorance, could be a girl also, ( highly unlikely though)

 

you ain't seen many truckin women folk have you?

 

Today I have practiced looking cool while walking around with streams of toilet paper hanging off my shoes, its funny how people won't tell you but you can hear them snickering after you pass....maybe it was the open fly on my cut-off jeans !

 

did you make sure you had the correct amount of bean fired flatulence though to produce a respectable skid mark in said shorts though?

 

The correct amount of bean fired flatulence should also produce massive eye watering results with your nostrils slamming shut like a nasal pucker factor, this also helps at the salad bar..........

 

How did I forget this? Or the Blue Neon lights in that 379 with the low rider seat and the shifter that is taller then you so you have to reach above your reach to slide the H/L button!

 

I saw one of these guys, I swore by looking at him he was homeless, It looked like he had wore the sweat pants for several days and thought TP was to write load and mileage notes on then what it was really for, then he got to day 9 and turned the sweat pants inside out and oh man the stuff just started flaking off.

 

im laughing so hard.... im crying lmao!!!!!!!!!!