What no one is saying

I would have issue with her not you. She married a trucker. As far as your relationship between you and your son thats between you to. It only becomes our business to comment on when or if you throw it on the alter and you have not. I wish you both the very best, and good luck the the college. I have 2 daughter take have graduated from Chico & Northridge, my son 21 has no interest, did changes his mind now pursuing a music career (which I would rather he waited on) but I support them on following their passion. Because after all life without passion is not worth living, and I believe in living.

My youngest daughter took her to Redondo Beach yesterday and had the honor of being with her when she caught her first wave. Life as a parent really does not come with a manual each and everyone one of my kids have separate interest and passions and as long as they achieve their goals then they are successful. Nothing like catching your first wave, then paddling out again. Makes for a great day.

 

I understand the topic is marriage and driving but I started young (the day I turned 21) and it took less 18 months of OTR for me to loose my high school sweetie to whom I was engaged and had been with since I was 15. It's incredibly hard to maintain a healthy relationship when you very rarely see each other - it can certainly be done but we were not able to. Back then I thought it was entirely her fault but years later I look back and now realize I shared a good deal of the blame for reasons I did not fully understand at the time. Really really long story short, I definitely took her for granted and that is where I deserve a good deal of the blame. A few years after we broke up we had a really good conversation about it and we both said the same thing - we did not make every moment we had together count leaving both of us feeling detached and wanting something else. It's hard, but if somehow you can make every phone conversation memorable and every time at home feel like the first time back from orientation/training it will work out just fine till he can find something that is more suitable for the entire family.

Fast forward about 5 years. I had met another amazing woman and all was well because I had normal human hours even though I was still driving a truck since I had a regular P&D route with CCX/Con-way Freight for the first year and a half we were dating. I decided I wanted to run night line-haul so I could become debt free and save a pile of cash - 4 months into that we had grown apart and were no longer together but I blamed her in a way because she was career driven also. Although I always felt deep down she was number one to me, she viewed it as I chose work/money over her. Once again, I took her for granted. Fortunately we not only reconciled but actually remain best friends to this day.

At the risk of sounding like Dr Phil, I've been through it a few times and have seen the mistakes both sides make. Ladies, guys are terrible at expressing their real feelings and you need to cut us a little slack but at the same time, all most women want is to really feel like they are number one to us and most of us could do a lot better than we do in that respect.

Like Sonny said in A Bronx Tale, "you're only allowed three great women in your life" and I've had two so I better not screw up with the third..lol.. All kidding aside, as a guy I've learned my lesson.

Sorry for the novel but with everything I said, I must also say I have the absolute utmost respect for the longtime couples especially if the husband drives a truck. My parents have been together since the 8'th grade without a break and that is something I respect and admire..

 

With the technology today it should be alot easier, but a Iphone, Ipad, or Macbook does replace the warm and breathing body beside you at night.

Long term relationships are difficult at best. They need all the help they can get.

 

I respect what you're saying, but in a way I almost think it makes it worse. Even though my parents grew up in Brooklyn during the hippie years, those technological advances never got in their way because they were not around - neither did drugs somehow..lol.. They never did em.. It had nothing to do with either one of my serious relationships, but I have honestly personally witnessed marriages crumble because of Facebook. Maybe the marriage wasn't on the best footing to begin with, but I've seen two crumble because of Facebook conversations with old flames. No joke, one couple had been married for over 10 years and had 3 kids.

 

They did not crumble because of facebook. They were in trouble to start with. I have the ability to or not to communicate with anyone whom contacts me. If an ex were to contact mr on facebook I make it real simple I let my wife know and respond to them.

Everbody in my family is on facebook, it would be a real bad place for me to screw up. But I get what up saying. Truth is marriages break up for a wide varity of reasons, but its not the outside influences its the inside that chooses.

 

CNWY is the parent company that operates both Freight and Truckload. I've worked here for about 7 years and a lot of changes have taken place - some good and some not so much. I know very little about the TL side but can tell you CNWY is strictly a numbers driven company with minimal consideration given to its people but that's alright with me. It does not work for some but I'm OK with that because the job I perform here works well for me and I'm compensated very well which is what I'm after. If a driver is looking for a place where you're treated like family this is definitely not it - it is what it is.

BIG RIGGER, to your comment about the loads, there's nothing better than an 8 up front and an empty in the back right now but I love a 24 paired with an 8 once that snow starts flying..lol.. I would imagine pulling a light set across ND when it's 5 degrees and icy with the wind whipping is no picnic. I've had my days/nights in Pa but we don't get the wind like you do out there. It's not a good feeling though when you're light and realize when you're half way up a hill that you're not gonna make it - a couple years ago I got stuck on I80 trying to pull a hill with a set of empties. Eventually made it with cheater chains and a PennDot truck throwing salt for me but that stunk..lol..

 

Dang Jakebrake you impress me! now how do we get everyone to learn from the past and have the insight to go forward like you have? you say your not Dr. Phil well IMO Dr. Phil should read your post, and I hope those two ladies you speak of get to read it also, that was truly a great post about living and learning and growing.

Good luck to you and may number three be all you deserve and ever need! What an intelligent young man you are and also from what i have gathered from reading on this site, your one helluva truck driver also!

 

Haha.. Not sure about all that but I appreciate the kind words.
I sure hope number three is the one though right..lol..

I will however say with full confidence that I'll place my ability to handle the equipment I drive against any other driver no matter how long they've been on the road or what they're pulling. I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I know what I'm doing with a set whether I'm on dry roads, ice, snow, or going in reverse hitting a dock with my back box.

I may screw up relationships but I do not screw up with a set..lol..