Your first run in with a "creature from the night"

I had a funny...episode one night.

Southbound on I-85 late one night headed for Spartenburg, SC with a load of corn gluten feed in my hopper. The urge to relieve myself came up on me quick and with urgency, so being close to the pickle park at Kings Mountain I just peel off and find a spot away from most of the other trucks.

I know it's not a good thing to do, and most always I wouldn't and don't, but I'm tellin' ya, I had to go and now, so it was time to cool off the drive tires.

Standing there between the drives, minding my own business and I get this feeling, like I'm being watched. I turn my head and a parking lot princess, fairly young, not too bad looking to be honest, has just walked around the front of my truck, is standing there and begins making her sales pitch.

I quickly get my... uhhh, ducks in a row, and tell her politely "No thank you, I've got to go.". Then she did something that I'd never seen or heard of before, something that at the time dumbfounded me, horrified me, and gave me that feeling that I might throw up, but that now makes me laugh until I have tears streaming.

Without hesitation, she yanks her false teeth out and gums "I'll eben tate my teef out sweetie."!!!! I couldn't get in that truck and out of that rest area fast enough!

To this day I can't ride by that place and not laugh a little...

 

I have had numerous run in's.

Let me tell you there is nothing I love more than being woken up at 3am with some one pounding on my sleeper door "you want some company baby, well how about givin me a dollar so I can get somthin to eat, come on sir, help me out."

My response has turned into this, I would point at the door and say to them what does that say, when they would read back the company name to me id say "Good, I knew I was driving a red truck, but glad no one changed it to salvation army over night, now GTF outa here!"

I can not stand people who insist that I need to "help them out"

I much prefer the Logic of Benjamin Franklin.

I think that is going to be my siggy quote for the week.

 

My funniest episode was in Jersey City. My window was open and I was doing my logs. A crackhead woman caught me off guard and jumped on my truck. I honestly thought it was a dude at first.

She runs through her sales pitch and I said "No Thank You". She then asks me for a cigarette. I hold my pack out and she just looks at me and then looks down. I looked out, she only had one arm and couldn't let go of the truck.

I pulled a cigarette out and stuck it in her mouth and lit it for her. she went on her way to the next truck.

I do like John anymore. I make eye contact as they approach and shake my head no and wave them off. It's the easiest way to get rid of them.

I did have one wake me up at 4 am once. I got up and cussed her out royally.

 

my first week out I was doing my logs at about 2 am and the window down. suddenly someones in my window"scared the crap outta me" my first reaction was to swing! sent this little 120 lb girl sprawling on the ground! I apologized pointed at the number on my truck and said remember it. seen her several times as I went thru and she just avoided me like the plague

 

Had to spend the night in north Jersey once, maybe 20 years ago. Anyway, pulled into Ruby-doobs, knowing the place would be crawling with lizards as the night wore on. Anyway, there was this rather large puddle in the back that I figured I could park in the middle of and not be bothered. Sometime in the middle of the night there's this knock on my door. WTF!! I look out and there's this female (pretty sure she was, anyway) wanting to know if I needed some company. Seems she gathered up a bunch of old pallets and whatever and built herself a bridge to my truck. Told her I wasn't the least bit interested, but, I figured "what the hell", I was impressed by her effort, so I gave her 10 bucks anyway.

 

Toothpick, sometimes ya just have to reward ingenuity!!!

 

Jb hunt drivers don't have to worry about lot lizards, I have always heard they are a bit 'funny'.

 

My wifes usually a deterrant, but we actually had one that asked her.. "you need services?" She still laughs at that...

 

Oh my!!!!

Night of the Toothless Lizrds

 

I have had 3 run ins with them so far.

1st time broad day light the flying peelot in KC. Me and my trainer were trying to eat both sitting up front and she walks up and I crack the window enough to say no GTFO before i beat your ask. She still stand there yelling after I closed the window and continued my meal. Finnally we finnished eating she still had not gone away. So I cracked the window and said go away. We got our load info I copied it down. She still stode there on the side of the truck. So I go to open the door to knock her off so I could drive away. she jumps back then tries to jump in. she was met by a foot to the face as I took off.

2nd one West Memphis at the flying peelot again. I was was busy sleeping away and I hear knock knock. I ignore it for the 1st 5 min. But she keeps knocking do finally I pop open the side vent and scream go the f away. More knocking on the glass so hard I think it might brake my window. So I crawl up front and crack the window open and scream f off *&&*#*#&#?!#$# She stode there on my top running board of the T-600 So I put both feet against the door and pulled the handle and made the witch fly into the truck next to me. He pokes his head out and was like what she messin with you also? I was like yep. 5 min later I hear BOOM on the side of my truck. I stick my head out to see the driver next to me laughing his head off. I crack my window and ask she messing with you too? he goes yeah I saw what you did worked great.

3rd one at the Valaro beside what used to be peelot now loves in baytown,tx it was pouring rain and the peelot was closed as they were changing the signs to loves that day. Some fat nasty greesy soaking wet thing comes crawling out of the mud to ask me the sales pitch line. I say no she stands there like she dont speak English so I released the truck brake put it in reverse and threw mud till she ran for the hills.