Werner Trainer Craps Himself

ParochialNimrod · Sep 25, 2020

Everyone can be more informed. Lots choose to be misinformed to be scared of things that aren't actually scary or true.

Also don't forget how awesome it was too be poisoned by leaded gas in the 70's. There's theories out there that this is why older generations have such a hard time identifying fact from fiction while browsing online.

Blue Zombie Trucker · Sep 26, 2020

ParochialNimrod said: ↑

Everyone can be more informed. Lots choose to be misinformed to be scared of things that aren't actually scary or true.

Also don't forget how awesome it was too be poisoned by leaded gas in the 70's. There's theories out there that this is why older generations have such a hard time identifying fact from fiction while browsing online.
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Absolutely true. One of the major long term effects of lead poisoning/exposure is cognitive decline. One of the reasons the Flint, MI issue is such an incredibly tragic disaster; it will affect for generations to come.

Wasted Thyme · Sep 26, 2020

Yes. 24 hour news cycle has it looking much worse. Used to be a couple of hours local and 30 minutes of national. So you only saw something if it was actually news. Now they are hunting everything.

LoSt_AgAiN · Sep 26, 2020

So the trainer pooped his pants?

CosmoK12 · Sep 26, 2020

Wasted Thyme said: ↑

Yes. 24 hour news cycle has it looking much worse. Used to be a couple of hours local and 30 minutes of national. So you only saw something if it was actually news. Now they are hunting everything.
Click to expand...

Not to mention now because they have to fill that time they make mountains out of ant hills. So every little thing is blown so far out of proportion that you’d thing the world is falling apart. I mean heck we had an asteroid pass by hundreds of thousands of miles away and they were screaming about it as if it’s about to collide with the earth.

TROOPER to TRUCKER · Dec 16, 2021

Bump just because

John Joel Glanton · Dec 16, 2021

later_dude said: ↑

I am Sooooo stupid! While in school I got to looking at all of those nice posters with pictures of new rigs promising "Newest eqipment" and showing people studying at computer terminals (computer based training) and thought to myself "This company has got it together" .

WHAT A JOKE!!!
DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!!

Recriuters are ruthless liers. I have an excellent work history (until now) and NO accidents or tickets and 400,000 old safe driving commercial miles. 36 cents a mile is the only reason I picked
this P.O.S. company over the other 7 (thats right SEVEN) companys that pre-approved me. Now that I am in this satan based rip-off, the other companys want NOTHING to do with me. I am now apearently tainted with the filth and stench of Werner.

At orientatation the first thing the manager said is this: "I don't know what the recruiters told you men, but you will be making .26 cents a mile
you WONT get a new truck of your choice, you WONT get to chose your color and your name WONT be on the door like the recruiters told you."

How did HE know?

I looked around the room and took a quick inventory of the other drivers.
I'm very sorry, but I have never been in the same room with so many one-toothed, greasy haired ,unwashed, stinky, scrape the bottom of the barrell looser- looking men in my whole life. I take it back. The same bunch would fit right in at the homeless mission. I am sorry. it's the truth.

Turns out they ALL had serious issues. They WERE bottom of the barrell.

The 500 pounder with greasy hair who kept picking his nose and rolling bugers in his fingers was fired from Swift for running over a fire hydrant with his trailer. "I was lost. You should see how small those streets are" . He was starting out at .38 cpm apearantly because he had experience in wrecking things. This guy had an endless supply of bugers. I personally counted him roll and flick five of them before I asked to be seated somewhere else in the computer lab. No lie.

The skinny one with greased back hair, Elvis sideburns, pencil thin mustach and an ever present toothpick for his one tooth (you can't make this stuff up) was fired from the bowling alley and banned for life for stealing Earl Anthony's personal bowling ball. He also was glad Werner overlooked a semi-recent drunk driving which of course was a set-up because he was doing the police chief's daughter.

The psyco Iraq war vet (sans front teeth) who "saw alot of dead bodys and body parts" I avoided. After telling 3 lame lies in a row, all of which were stupid and obvious lies that didnt come close to lining up with reality, he paused and staired at you waiting for you to call him a lier so he could kill you. I decided he wasnt safe to converse with. He was a trainer at Swift and Im guessing he was fired for killing a student although I dont know for sure. He claimed to be hired at "over .50 cpm" presumably
for his skills in advanced interpersonal relationships.

A thin balding early 50ish man with glasses sat counting and recounting his pills. He had about seven or eight bottles of perscription meds in front of him and was quite concerned about his recent count. "If I get this wrong I could go into a coma and die, he explained" . OK Buddy. No problem! Here are the keys and here is your 80,000 pound truck. Be safe!

All of this on my first day! I should have followed my instincts and left
immediatly but I resolved to "stick it out" . What a waste of time and money.

All of my trainers have been unqualified nitwits. One was a big 2 million miler that CONSTANTLY tailgated and screamed at cars. He too was a sociopath and pathological lier to boot. This is proof of my old theory that you have you can be really lucky and not safe at all to get a safe driving award. Thats a whole seperate chapter that I could tell if I had to. The big 2 million miler had serious hygene issues that are so gross I wont even go into. I had to put vics vapor rub under my nose to keep from throwing up. He was so fat that it was too hard to walk to the showers so we just skipped that waste of time.

Ok. I will go in to it.

I could tell which position he was sleeping in from the blast of odor that emmenated from the bottom bunk. if his arms were up, you would be rocked with a blast of sour viniger/rotten sharp cheddar cheese from his arm pits. If he was on his back I was treated to the lovely smell of bacteria that festers in oral cavities that go unbrushed for god knows how long. I *NEVER * repeat N E V E R saw him brush his teeth. The best was, if god forbid, he put a knee up while sleeping on his stomach. Then you get the mother of all odors. Sweaty butt juice that I am convinced harbored not only bacteria and fungus but perhaps even disease straight from the pits of hell. He was so fat that I am guessing that his hands could not reach his butt to wash it. His ### was so nasty that I am ashamed to say that I caught somthing from his sweaty butt juice while sitting in the same seat. I am no doctor but I am guessing that it was some kind of fungus that attacked the crack of my butt and gave me raw skin like a diaper rash. I cured it by spraying my butt with lysoll against the instructions on the label. I also purchaced a folding seat to seperate my now healing butt from his nasty butt juice infested seat.

I tried everything to keep the stench from coming up from the bottom bunk. I tried to stuff socks and clothing in the crack between the bottom
and top bunk. I stuffed my jacket in the space between the wall and your head too but the smell did not need the wind from the ventalation to waft up to the top.

Every morning at around 4:00 am he would start farting. Not just little innocent farts either. Oh no! It would start out with just a little rasp. But after just a little while it was a full symphony of putrid rotting intestinal
matter culminating with him ######## his pants before 5:30.

So after I figured out that he was ######## himself I would go outside in the freezing snow or whatever was outside at 4:30am just to escape.

I can prove all of this and will name names if anyone accuses me of lieing.

Werner sucks and after I get my big 500.00 bonus for putting up with this "training" I am so outta here.
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Hilarious and well written. I hope you're a published author by now. Don't let this talent go to waste!

stevep1977 · Dec 16, 2021

John Joel Glanton said: ↑

Hilarious and well written. I hope you're a published author by now. Don't let this talent go to waste!
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I heard that he got promoted to trainer at CR England

TROOPER to TRUCKER · Dec 16, 2021

Figured with all the bickering here lately this deserves a read

John Joel Glanton · Dec 16, 2021

Funny as heck and I can relate. Just went through CDL school myself and man it was like a crowd fresh out of Rikers Island. Lots of face and neck tats, ankle bracelets on them all smoking black and milds talking about their court cases. What a nightmare.

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