what's your motivation?

Well. I am a big fat slob. No.....actually I'm not a slob. Even at my highest weight I have always been well groomed and attractive. Weight became a true battlefield for me and one that I lost. Food became my drug of choice and I ate my way through my parent's deaths, my son's inprisonment and my resulting depression.

Each time my self esteem took a blow I ate. So......I am fat.

However, in the last 12 months I have lost 68 lbs. That doesn't seem like much to people who have never struggled with it......but it's huge victories to me.

Each pound has been a battle and a battle I win. Each calorie I don't eat is a personal victory. Each hershey bar........a desperately missed companion but I still have power over the hershey bar now.

My motivation? My motivation is freedom of fear. I am no longer afraid to live, no longer afraid to be me. Whether I'm fat, thin, acceptable in anyone else's eyes is not my concern. I am acceptable to me. I no longer need my dear friend and drug "food". I just need to be "me".

And my other motivation is I'm a very vain woman and wish to be one hot nana once again. *winks*

 

OMG! Losing 68 pounds is flippin AWESOME! UROCK GIRL!

It sure *is* a battle...EVERY DAY, but we're gonna win this war,TN!! I've never been and I don't know what it's like to be slender, although I've always been active and competed in sports. However, I've come a ways and plan to do the Las Vegas American Universe for Figure Competition this Nov. OMG...I cannot believe it I actually entered! Still have a ways to go.

I read an excellent book recently, and posted some of my Trucker blog entry below. Of course, having goals is vital. If anyone would like more info, feel free to PM, me.

***From my blog**
It's not a matter of if you have it or not; we all do whether you are overweight or not. It's more of a matter of how much of it do you have.

It's our stimuli-response relationship with food. Some of us respond to highly palatable foods more than others.

You're not abnormal, and we're not talking about any eating disorders.

Our reaction to highly salient foods is a biological condition stemming from eons of evolutionary development. You've experienced it...the minute someone mentions that rich New York Cheesecake, the chocolate-chip mint icecream, the homemade macaroni and cheese, those chewy chocolate chip homemade cookies, the biscuits and gravy at your favorite truck stop.....your brain sees the image, you feel the back of your tongue come alive, and saliva starts to secrete automatically in your mouth.
......
Even though I'm passionate about working out and enjoy its long term effects, admittedly, I don't feel the same immediate satisfying feeling as I do when I eat hot flaky rich biscuits and spicy sausage gravy when I'm hungry. While I love it and crave working out, it will never initiate an emotional safisication as soon as eating biscuits and gravy will.

However, in the LONG RUN, I will be rewarded much, much more and feel much more satisfied with a lean, sexy, fit hard body. Eating a salient food is SHORT LIVED, but achieving a hard sexy admirable body is not when we put forth some effort. This is the KEY to the End of overeating!


ETA: I discovered the "My Truckers Blog" so I reduced my lengthy OP here and have an entry in my Trucker Blog if anyone wants to read more. Thanks, PEEPS!

 

Careful Nana! If you keep this up you're gonna need ankle-weights or at least be tethered to Hubby when you get in a strong wind!

 

I don't need them yet! I have this 12 to lose then two more 40lbs goals. My total weight I plan to lose is 160 lbs. IT'S A PERSON!!!!! That was what was so shocking to me. I needed to lose an entire PERSON. Her name is Mabel.

I hate her. She's the fat slob that's hanging on me. I've almost killed half of her. Die Mabel Die!

 

You know nana, you should celebrate Mabel's demise. Can we have a huge Truckers Report wake for this??

 

My personal motivation to stay active in some way is so I don't strangle to death every liberal/progressive/commie/anti-God whatever you want to call them, person that I come across, which is way too many lately. If it weren't for my faith in God and knowing that he'll TCB on his time, when he decides, I'd be one of the SOB's you see on TV having dealt a deadly blow to a group of commies.