What now?

Listen man, I am not disagreeing, I overthink a lot of ####. I am notorious for overthinking, but the reason I did this was because I needed to challenge myself for once in my life and I truly knew what driving was like, I may have never officially drove a car or anything, but I'd say I drove way better than most people who were at the BMV when I got my license, hell I had people who were in the BMV coming back for their 2nd or 3rd test, I passed first time on everything except my backing manuevers test. I even had to do a 60 hour training course on driving, I knew the undertaking of driving a rig, I knew how serious it was that's why when I went to school I did my best to learn and I had hiccups but I eventually passed. I am a fast learner for stuff, I am not stupid by any means, I just figured that if I could at least get my license and then get a job team driving with my mom, that because she had experience and because she has driven to all kinds of places and back home, that she could be there to teach me more and more and more; that's why I did it.

I knew I not only was going to get my license and such and then get a job, but I'd of been with someone I was comfortable around, and I knew would do their best to teach me all that they could because they'd have to ride with me I knew my mom was very picky about who she'll drive with / let alone let someone drive her around. So please understand, I didn't expect to come here and just get into the industry just because I thought it was a quick buck, or just so I can say "I'm a truck driver", hell if anything, I was excited to learn all I could and be a safe driver, I even thought about how maybe one day if I drive enough I could go work for a school and help train other people to show people if you do the right thing, anything is possible. So yes, I took Lual's comments a bit personally, again, could've very well just been my overthinking. I hate how I overthink, I hate how I overanalyze everything, but it's not a switch I can just flip, I am just here looking for honest advice because I had a accident and now I was worried, I was worried for several reasons, when I had the accident I replayed the event in my head over and over again, I was sure of what I saw but then as days went by I started wondering what did I miss, what if it was truly my fault because I misjudged what I saw before the accident happened, meaning that my thinking/thought process/visualization of things was off making me a danger to myself and others, but also because I knew what making mistakes that ended in accidents meant for someone who was trying to drive semis.

You know it doesn't help when your own dad all the way from the time you are trying to get your regular drivers license up to the the second you get into a crash comes to the scene shouting at you, telling you to just give it up, telling you that you ain't going to be able to drive no big rig because you don't know how to drive, hell the guy was hoping I failed at getting my regular license, let alone while I was going to truck driving school and that I got fired from the job I was working at before I got out of school, so please understand again, I truly understood that to drive a truck, it shouldn't be taken lightly and I knew that it was a big undertaking so I wanted to make sure I am sound of mind so I am not endangering myself or others, should I go get more experience then retry or should I just full send it and do my best and hope for the best? So please understand, I was just trying to get an honest opinion and be sure I am making the right call.