Newbie Feeling Stupid

I just came home from USF Glen Moore orientation. I feel I really screwed up the road test (but passed) , I got a trainer on the 2nd day and thought i was ready to go on wed. I woke up 3 am early on wed from nerves and just started to bawl. i already missed home, my husband, my dogs and was too scared to start training. i was told i was going out frist for 4 weeks then later told 6 weeks and may or may not get hometime during this period. i did some soul searching and realize i am not ready to leave home at this time for that length of time. i talked to the terminal mgr, safety and the recruiter who all agreed with me my best place is home. they were nice and did remind me this a voluntary resignation and not eligible for rehire is going on my DAC report. i really felt i was ready but when the time came to leave i just could not do it. training with a man as a married woman i thought would not bother me..but it did, being away from home i thought would be great...no i can't do it. i smoke and my trainer did not...i feel like i have wasted alot of money and time and just feeling all over depressed and embarassed! is there such a thing as finding a local job in the trucking field as a newbie? i don't know what to do!!