Pistol Packin Lizard

Here's an idea:

Refuse to haul into or out of areas known for airborne lead particles. Maybe when they start getting hungry from no food coming in and having dirty butts from not having toilet paper, they'll consider cleaning up the areas we are asked to go.

Oh, but that would require cooperation among drivers of all beliefs. We can't be having that, now, can we?

 

I have a couple of decoy wallets

fill them up with those fake credit card's you get with the offers that come in the mail that are not really credit cards, as well as expired super-market discount cards, all the crap you get in the mail and usually just throw out. Put them in the wallet and maybe start cutting out pictures in the magazines of weird things, stuff that freaks you out when you see it, victims of horrible accidents, tumors, terrible wounds, and whatever you can find that you think is unpleasant. Put all this stuff in the fake wallet. You can even put a note in for him to read.
You want it to make a bulge in your pants so it looks like it is full of money and credit cards. The thief is going to go through a lot of effort to get it and when he leaves the truck with your wallet and gets nothing for his efforts but a bunch of fake credit cards and scary photos he is going to be very annoyed if not completely freaked out . Your reward every time one of your decoy wallets is missing is that you will know that you just made some thief very pissed off, thwarted a crime, and you still have all your money and credit cards.

 

That is why I quit the Gary PD and started driving trucks

 

Boy, you are a paranoid little bugger. Me thinks you need to move to a better hood.

 

One night out at one of our lakes after coming upon a party, probably high school kids I let a round go from my Mossberg 500 with the 18.5. I was with friends and were going to be camping and we went over to check out what was going on and as we were leaving I saw rocks or something else flying over my truck into the light from my head lights. I proceeded to turn around and go find out what was going on. Well, some of the more friendly types did not take kindly to me chewing them out so they threw a rock bigger than a grape fruit into my windshield right next to my head. I was standing beside my door. Well I wasn't too happy then and as they were approaching, I reached in got my shotgun and let one fly up and to my left. I never seen people scatter into the night so fast. We didn't stick around after that, but I'd imagine the party ended.

 

A while back I swore I'd never post on these gun threads again...but thats a good post...so I'm making an exception ...my answers is red above.

 

Im game, ill start right away, in fact I almost kicked some crazy guys ### the this morning for trying to take the fuel pump out of my tanks??? He kept saying "more,more" and got really close to me....i took my gloves off and said a few words....he backed off quick, and all of a sudden his crazy act was gone..

 

Wow! I have a really boring life.

Never been hit up by a lizard. I've never been assaulted at a truck stop or rest area.

What am I doing wrong?
Or, right?

 

Look, I already have a potato and several rolled-up tube socks in there. There ain't no way that kind of wallet is going to fit.

 

TMI
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