So, There I was ...

Not really my taste, IP, but whatever floats yer boat

 

So, There I was, sitting at our 90 outside of ATL with a pallet of crushed boxes of scrambled eggs. You know, the Egg Beater kind, only industrial size gallon boxes of scrambled eggs. Well, I got to thinking fiscally and how a 3 lb box of scrambled eggs would certainly save on those truckers breakfasts at the TA. So I tucked 3 into the plug in cooler, which took up all of the room inside. So my instructor doesn't get angry, I plan on using the first one that night, so he has room to put his juice into the cooler later on..... Only one problem, how to cook these eggs.
Well, my good ole Army ingenuity kicks in as I remember cooking MRE's and other food on the manifold of our truck engines. The box looked sturdy enough, you know, those carton things that are aluminum foil in the middle.... So, I go ahead and place on of the cartons on the DD15 manifold (not directly on it, but close enough to cook) and close the hood, so as not to attract too much attention. I didn't have enough to feed everyone you know. My instructor was inside working out how to dispose of the crushed cartons, so I figure I have enough time to cook the eggs. I figured 10 minutes would be plenty, as that is about how long the hobo breakfasts took by the fire in cub scouts. Well, my instructor was in a hurry to get to our next 01, and not wanting to frighten him, I didn't tell him that the eggs weren't cooked yet. I quickly and stealthily secured the hood and we got rolling. ####, I was hungry, and my eggs were being held hostage by my instructor's rush to drive. Well, I guess well done eggs are better than raw. Needless to say, at our next stop, while he was in the bathroom, I made it look like I was doing an engine compartment check, and found that the eggs had burst out of the carton and burned all over the manifold. Man, if you have never smelt overcooked eggs, you dont want to. I quickly closed the hood and was congratulated by my instructor for taking initiative Stll hungry, I had to munch on some crackers until I had a chance to try to cook another carton of those eggs. Darned it, I was gonna have an omelette.

We got to our 01, picking up a load of beer to take to Arkansas. We parked at this little stop just big enough to fit about 10 trucks. He went inside to eat some fried chicken. Now was my chance to get these eggs cooked. So, I poked a hole in the top of the carton, and found that it barely fit into the microwave. I figured that 10 minutes will do it (that cub scout knowledge is golden) and set the timer. I figured that was just enough time to go take a bathroom break, so I ran into the store. When I came out, the cab was smokey with a strong smell of sulphur and burnt eggs. ####, how am I gonna fix this? The eggs were burnt, and there were a few brown burn spots on the inside of the microwave. Man, think quick...... hmmmm............I threw away the eggs real quick and got a bag of popcorn. Setting the timer for 10 minutes I figured that the burnt popcorn smell would cover the other smell... Sure enough, my creative excuse worked, and my instructor was fooled when I told him that I burnt popcorn.

With one box of eggs left, I knew I was pretty well beat, but I had one more idea....So I walked into the waffle house and asked the cook if he could cook these eggs up for me to go.........

 

Now, that's some funny #####....