I don't know what to say about my "accidents/incidents"

hello, I ran for a year and was terminated for hitting too many things. Now it was an amical part and I got along great so there was no bad blood. now my question is what is an accident? what is an incident? I have heard everything from under 10,000 doesn't count, to doing two cents worth of damage is a full blown accident.
I never got any tickets for these but here is what I got. didn't get a ticket for any of it.

took off bumper of parked car 2,000
Hit parked vehicle in dark (lost in WV) 2,200
nicked corner of parked trailer, unknown damage amount, few hundred?
Lastly, tore up a guardrail' unknown damage, few grand?

so with these four things am I toast for three years? how are these counted? Obviously I won't be driving for Walmart anytime soon but will anyone touch me?

I have a VA +3 with only one minor speeding ticket. Everything else clear.

any advice would be appreciated

 

Now that we have gotten the obligatory wisecrack out of the way. How about some more constructive criticism.

 

You don't have to tell me it isn't my thing. I just got into this mess due to the economy. if you told me ten years ago I would be trucking I would have laughed.

Ok, so you say they are all blanket "preventables". Ok, this is what I was thinking. I am trying to get a better understanding of what condition my CDL is in.

I don't assume anything though, research is in order. my free DAC is enroute, so I'm not sure what is on there. What happened, what was reported and what shows can be three different things.

 

McDonald's comments are the only comments that aren't needed. Fully expected since many truckers are missing teeth and educations. No, bubba, that HS diploma from Wanker High Nowhere USA is not an education.
As for the advice on the incidents that was what I figured. I really prefer jobs that pay me for the work I do. I can sit on my ### at home for no pay, don't need a rig for that.