I'm baaaaaack!!!!!!!!

Well, my truck doesn't idle. Other guy must be like part banana tree or something; his truck was the only thing running (no reefer nearby) and he left before I could get back there. I figure the wind was blowing in exactly the wrong direction. Or something. No issues before or since, and hopefully never again. We're both a little tired but it's like a lack of sleep.

 

Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Chairman of the bored. On the Bored of Directors. Under the Bored Walk. Surf Bored. Bored of Education. Playing Bored Games. On the Bored-er patrol.

Bored.

 

Doctor told me I have to dissolve 1/2 ounce of Windex in 12 ounces of water once a week and drink it. I have this problem where I like to get naked and run around in public. The Windex prevents me from streaking.

 

I recently developed this embarrassing issue where every time I passed gas, it sounded like a Japanese motorcycle.

A week ago, I had to see my dentist about a bad toothache. He pronounced it badly abscessed and took care of it. Mysteriously, my flatulence issue disappeared also. I called back to the dentist to ask about it, and he said:

"Naturally. Everybody knows abscess makes the fart go Honda."

 

Knock knock.

Who is there?

It is I. Open the door.

I will not.

You are behaving unreasonably. I shall leave.

If that is your wish then go.

(A classic knock-knock joke from the planet Vulcan--Thank yew, thank yew)

 

Priest, a rabbi, and a horse walk into a bar. Bartender looks up, says, "What is this, some kind of joke!?"

 

Two guys walk into a bar. Third guy ducks.

 

Guy walks into a therapist's office with a duck on his head. Therapist takes one look at guy and says, "I bet I know what you need!"

Duck says, "You ain't kidding Doc. So can you get this guy out of my butt?"

 

"Is it true that Chrome don't get you home?"

"Depends how much you can sell it for."

 

"Honey, do you want me in the room when the baby is born?"

"Why? You weren't in the room when he was conceived."