In-cab urination

I don't know which would be worse,but I know which one would get bragged about and which one a guy would sneak into the court house to pay.

 

10 pages???

ok I thought this one was going away quick but since it isn't...

I confess... I confess...

I've tinkled in a bottle before.

and really its all my moms fault... she tossed me a bottle on our way to my aunts house when I was 5 or 6, not wanting to stop the car again. Now I can't help myself... when I have to go I can hear the bottles calling my name...
"come on, do it... you know you want too... "

 

LOL...See don't you feel better by unburdening yourself and telling us the truth...here's how I do it at my "support" group meeting and you can do it too...."Hi,My name is Mule"..."And I'm a jug pee'r r r"...."HI MULE!!!!"

 

ROTFLMFA !!!!

hi mule,

with a name like that you must be one of them feller's buying the wide mouthed water bottles? lol

 

LOL...I wish.

 

:smt064

So sorry Mule, You left the door open I couldn't help but to walk through.

 

Another good reason to have a bottle handy in an emergency

 

LOL..The old boy that got busted in Paducah needed a bottle in his pant leg to keep him out of trouble .

 

LMAO..WHY are doctors offices so cold??

Brick,you already know about my white coat phobia and I think this may be part of it.....
My Mom always took us kids to a Dr. in Rock Springs that was old and VERY cranky and he didn't care WHAT he said which was bad because he only had a couple of examining rooms that opened right out of his waiting room which meant EVERYBODY could hear everything going on...This dude was mean and I remember him using one of those tounge depresser things on me and I gagged and he said"Well,at least I know you ain't queer".Of course I'm sure the rest of the folks in the waiting room got a kick out of that.....Anyway after I left home you couldn't drag me to a doctor with a D9 Cat so I didn't see him for many moons and then when I was around 20 or so,I HAD to have a physical for a new job I was starting and I called my Mom and asked her where I should go and of course she recommended(insisted) I go see this guy."Now you remember how when you had strep throat,he gave you a shot and you were well by that afternoon,he's a good doctor"...."Uhhhh yes Mom,I remember that,but don't YOU remember how he left the door open for everyone in the waiting room to see my butt exposed WHILE he gave me that shot?".....Anyway,I ended up there at his place and he had gotten cruder,louder AND uglier and instead of leaving his cowboy hat on a deer head by the door,he now just left it on.My turn comes around and he screams at me to get in this room and points at the door...I tell him all I need is this paperwork signed for my job and nothing was wrong with me at all I just needed the paperwork.He said "Are YOU a Dr."....I didn't answer because the answer was obvious.Thinking I was not only stupid,but also deaf,he raises his voice and speaks real slow and repeats"ARE....YOU....A....DOCTOR?".....I said no and he says something like"Then shut your pie hole and strip,I am a Doctor and I'll be the judge if anything is wrong with you or not,I dont just sign papers and it would take a real idiot to think I would"...(what was he saying.lol)...By then I was so nervous that I was dizzy and as I stripped down I got even more nervous looking at the partially open door that was the only protection between me and all the folks in his waiting room....As I stood there in my underwear his was facing the other way on his little stool reading the papers I'd brought with me....He finally turns around and looks at me after what seemed like an hour and instantly I knew I was in trouble by the look on his face ,but I didn't know why...."ARE...YOU...HARD..OF...HEARING....I SAID....STRIP....GET...THOSE....SHORTS...OFF...NOW!!!!!"....At that point I almost passed out from nervousness and my fight or flight button was lit up and waiting to be pushed....I could hear snickering in the waiting room and that made it worse....I stripped the rest of the way,he stands up and sticks a light roughly in my ears and up my nose,grabs a tounge depresser and absolutely gags the ever loving hell out of me,makes his queer joke again(to more applause from the waiting room I imagined) and then flops back down on his stool and says "Alright,everything looks good,I'll check you for a hernia and you're done...come here".....WHY in the name of the good fairy that I did what I did next has escaped me for YEARS now.....I did the stupidest thing that I'd did up to that point in my life and did it without ever knowing why I did it....it had to be a combination of nerves,relief it was about over and I had stood there naked for 10 minutes without his nurse opening the door to show my junk to all in the waiting room or what it was I'll never know,but here's the picture.....He's sitting on his stool,cowboy hat on,I'm nekked 5 or six steps away,he says HERNIA check plain as day....I step forward,he reaches his hand out and I spin around and spread my butt cheeks six inches from his face and almost touching the brim of his hat......There was a few seconds where I was fairly calm because I was thinking that I was minding him AND this is the most humiliating thing I have ever went through in my entire life,but within a few seconds it will be over and wild horses couldn't drag me back to this guys place ever again....Little did I know that that was NOT the most humiliating thing that would ever happen because that peak was just fixin' to hit a new level......As I stood there,butt cheeks spread apart ,happy in my stupidity ,this guy shoves me and screams at the top of his lungs 'GET YOUR Fing ### OUT MY FACE YOU STUPID S.O.B......I SAID HERNIA....NOT HEMMROID" and then barges out of the room and telling me to pick my papers up at the desk....He also slammed the door which then bounced halfway back open....I got dressed and had to go out there and pay and get my paperwork and EVERYBODY in there was laughing.....You want to talk about MAJOR shrinkage,THAT caused major shrinkage ol' buddy.No wonder I'm warped.