Am I just SOL

It didn't end in a violent confrontation so a bunch of woulda, shoulda, coulda don't really matter. The point was there was an extenuating circumstance which was the adrenaline pumping. Fearing for one's safety rather tends to impair one's judgement. It was a stress factor, that's it, that's all. I wouldn't remotely claim that hitting his vehicle was a good idea, that's just making matters worse. Sorry, safeguarding myself takes priority over safeguarding company equipment. Maybe had I let him pull up on the drivers side would have been nice and calm by the time he reached my driver's door or maybe it would have turned out a lot worse than it did.

I'm not an idiot, I have poor spatial perception. Some guys can just throw it in reverse and back right in, perfectly straight and centered. I have to get out and look, pull forward and once in, generally, center it. 2 minutes versus 5 minutes really makes not a bit of difference. If there's still time on the 70 at the end of the day it made no difference, just more time that didn't get used. When I was in truck driving school some of those just naturals. Oddly one of those couldn't pass the road test, but he backed perfectly every time. That was 10% of that class that could do that. 50% couldn't manage to get their CDL and 25% were out of the industry within 3 months, they couldn't handle the road.

I'm on the road 6 weeks to 3 months at a time. That truck keeps rolling if they got the loads. I got 3400 miles my last week. After the 8th day I'm running recaps, often crossing midnight with less than an hour on the 70. I get the load there on time every time, I take every load. I don't sit around truck stops, I don't ##### and complain about the loads I get. The job needs done, I don't want to do then I won't take a paycheck. I see the trucks in the ditches, the chewed up and spit out cars, the beat up trailers, the idiots turning a truck stop into an obstacle course still sitting there at 10am with 75% parking spots available. I see the busted up gates and fences, the leaning yellow posts, hell, concrete posts 3' in diameter laying on their sides. I've stood in orientation and watched guys with 15+ years experience hit the trailer next to where they're backing in. Give me a break, they'll just replace me with someone just as bad or worse.

I'm all for get the f' out, but do what instead? Who else hires like this? This industry is churn and burn. Go through orientation and three months later I'm the last mofo standing. Regrettably in this society if you're over 50 and out of work you're sol. I have a bachelors in computer information systems, went back and got a second bachelors in mathematics. I have 12 years experience, saved my company millions, I can certainly do far better than some kid straight out of college and all need is an entry level position, my aptitude will do the rest, but convincing anyone to hire me is a joke because I'm over 50 without a job. Oh well, life sucks then you die.