Where is everyone #5

Do I know you? Seems you know me

 

Will do...,

 

Big Slob (Jimmy Dean’s Big John)

Every morning in the buffet line you could see him arrive
He stood 5 foot 8 and weighed 385
Fat rolls on his shoulders and two bad hips
And you didn’t get between him and potato chips, Big Slob

Big Slob, Big Slob, Big Bad Slob

Nobody seemed to know if he had a home
His stench drifted into town and he stayed all alone
He didn’t say much kinda quiet and shy
And if you spoke at all you just said hi to Big Slob

Somebody said he came from New Orleans
Where he won a contest eatin collard greens
And he crashed his rig into a Krispy Kreme van
And sent a Louisiana fella to the promised land, Big Slob

Then came the day in the buffet line
Where a floor timber cracked and truckers started cryin
Waitresses were prayin that the food would last
And everyone stared in disgust at the fat ###, Big Slob

 

Through the dust and the smoke of this man made hell
Walked a whale of a man restaurant owners knew well
Grabbed a pan of baby back ribs and started to groan
To pay for the damage he’d need a small loan, Big Slob

He put the ribs to his mouth and gave a mighty shove
Into his swollen face only a mother could love
And twenty patrons scrambled from a would be grave
And now there’s only one porker to save, Big Slob

With a Cpap and chicken tenders they started back down
When a rumble came from the gut of the bloated clown
And sweat and gas belched out of that swine
And everyone knew it was the end of the line for Big Slob

Now they never reopened that truck stop buffet
But a marble stand is still there today
These few words are written on that stand
At the bottom of this buffet lies one disgusting obese man
Big Slob

 

That's funny I don't care who you are

 

She thinks his cankles are sexy
They really turn her on
There all blue and splotchy
You aught to hear him groan

 

Inspired by that KLLM moron waddling in front of me this morning after blocking the fuel island for no reason

 

That's hilarious!