Where is everyone #5

Hahahaha!!! That made me chuckle @OLDSKOOLERnWV

 

Nowadays, I always seem to run into the woman that has been bootysniffed to death. Tube top, 4 inch nipples dragging her knees, looks like Jerome Howard with a wig on... and this attitude that lets you know that she thinks every guy in the industry wants in her pants. Sit in a restaurant in conversation and this heifer walks in demanding to be the center of attention, and tries to dominate the conversation. "Nope. Dont want none. Where I come from, they consider women like you Bestiality, and I dont do farm animals. It is against my religion."

 

230 miles left and five hours on the nanny...

Think we will make it

 

I was running up 75 years ago, heading to K-town. A hand hollered at me

"How bout dat big ol KW stepping north?

Hello, come in.

"Check out that little 4 coming up on ya."

(Gotta clean it up. Got deleted the last time)

2 women. 4 fingers in the cookie jar. The driver was having convulsions and couldnt maintain speed. Word got around that there was a SHOW (that's what they used to call it on the radio) going up 75. We're ripping up the bigroad. I go underneath an overpass and I see a full grown on the onramp. I let off the throttle. Full jake.

Backdoor: OMG! It's SmokeyBear!

"What's the 20 on the bear????!??"

s-i-l-e-n-c-e

Smokey: Hey guy's how it goin?

(still silent. I'm up front running 65.)

Smokey: What's wrong? No one wants to talk to me?

Backdoor: Ummm, Smokey...do you need me to pull over?

Smokey: I want all of yall to pull over.

(We hit the 4 ways and start easing over. Smokey is coming up to see me)

Smokey: Big ol Kenworth, when I heard your jake, you were at 104. Why were you going so fast?

Six: Smokey, you didnt see the little white 4.

Smokey: What little white 4?

Six: The one with the 2 nekked girls in it and one had 4 fingers in the cookie jar.

Well, he left us and went after the 4. Caught em too. Glad he let me slide. Speed limit was 65 mph.

 

Called on a load going from my town to Denver. Posted at $6/mile. I called and offered to do it for $8.25/mile. It's been on the LS board for 6 days.

Agent notices I live near the shipper. "Don't you think you could do it for the lower rate because you're loading near home?"

WTF does where I live have to do with it? Price is now $8.75. Any more questions?

 

LMAO.... I could see that unfold in my minds eye as I read it

 

Tesla going airborne

 

Warrenty ain't Gona cover that !! LOL

 

The Duke boys got a new ride

 

One day many many years ago I was rolling out of LA up. 15 to Vegas. I'm in my mid 20's about this time. Ya hear all the stories of getting flashes and what not. So I'm rolling along pushing my luck in commie-fornia doing 65. When I hear the radio crack. " Whooooooaaaaaa!!!!!". Then silence...... So start looking around for the bear. I'm assuming who is in the area. Looking over to the get off and get on ramps. Then about the time I swing my head to the left to look at the mirror. I have a Red Ford explorer rolling up pretty quick.
Then I hear the radio again. "Hey, skateboard you checking out the seat cover yet?".
Now mind you I'm looking for a bear and since I seem to be the only big kid amongst the little cars. And no other big truck rolling my way for a good mile or so ether way. Since my head is pointed to passenger side and grabbing my mic. I don't realize the explorer is right next to the driver door .
I reply "what seat cover, where?;?!!"

About this time I look to my left and down out my window.

The driver has a magnetic antenna on roof of the exploider. My eyes go from roof to window to seats.......

Driver is placing the mic of his cb on the passengers stomach. She is laying with we legs on arm rest from edge to edge of open window. She is wearing just her birthday suit and a CB mic At the moment.
She is facing the ceiling with her head resting in drivers lap and his hand over here eyes.

So I'm Driving for a small owner operator who has 3 trucks plus his personal Peterbilt.
Today I was given his personal Powder blue Pete with black fenders. No governer, 18spd and empty.
I decide to stick with the Ford, see if he's gonna talk some more. Since she is have one heck of a time. He starts to pull away at 70. I'm thinking, ya don't get a chance like this ever. So I step on it. And we are about now leaving Baker to climb the grade. Her hands are on the move away from the mic. I see some tail lights ahead., Thinking it's JB hunt or Schneider rolling in slow lane.
About now I let him pull ahead and roll up on the slow traffic. And it didn't take but a Second for the radio to come to life.
Truck 1"Ohhh. My God ,. Did you see that?"
Truck2"What??"
Truck1"the 4wheeler just passed me coming up on you"
Some truck heading south:. What you see driver?


About now I hear "Beaver!!!!!"

Then the sound of. "Dang slow #_&$$$ truck, I wanna see that again"

"Hey skateboard you see what's ahead of ya?"

I reply. " I was running about 5 miles next to that seat cover"

I get the ration of bull about being so lucky.

So about now I didn't realize a bull hauler was behind me. He rolls past on the down hill and passes the "4wheeler seat cover". And brake light flash on.
He's rolling next to them all the way into Vegas. He never left the explorer.