Where is everyone #5

MagnumaMoose · May 29, 2019

Here it is.

Muleskinner said: ↑

One of the funniest things that ever happened to me that was recreational reptile related happened on the east side of Amarillo several years ago.

I'd dropped a load of feeder calves off down around Dimmit,Tx and was WAY over on my paper work so I decided to chance it back to (if I remember right it was the Williams truck stop) Amarillo,shower ,eat ,fuel and then shut down till I woke up...I made it there about 9pm and the lot is packed with trucks which put me way up the line from the building back in the rookie patch.I get shut down,start doing paper work and trying to figure out how to make 10 and 10 equal 32 when this flashy stepside pickup stopped about 2 trucks up from mine and this worn out looking mexican chick on the HIGHEST spike heeled shoes I've ever seen came wobbling out of the passengers side.She was like a train wreck and as luck would have it she seen me putting eye marks on her right off the bat and headed straight for me.Now I'm a hypochondriac, and the mere thought of her touching my truck would make me burn when I peed next time so I tried to melt into the floorboard when she headed my way.She didn't seem overly concerned that she was making me VERY uncomfortable standing on my step and asking me "Do you have a radio I can use".I told her that I did but I had a thing about letting other folk use it since I was afraid of germs (keep in mind I'm pulling a cow wagon with at least a thousand pounds of dung on the side of the trailer as I'm telling her this).So she says "I'll give you a freebie to use your radio" and I explained to her that I was afraid to even touch myself because I didn't know where my hand had been much less letting her touch me.Then she said"how do YOU like it,I'll let you do it anyway you like for your radio" and I said that I sat on my hands till they went to sleep and then it was like somebody else touching me and I prefered it that way.ALONE.She seemed to drunk (or stupid) to understand that I was turning her down on all counts in a nice and joking way and that she was wasting her time.I finally got a little firmer and ruder and she left with what I thought was a good idea not to come back for any reason.I go eat and shower ,make it back to the truck and fall asleep before I even settle in the bed.Must've been around 1am I wake up to something beating on my sleeper door.I had no clue where I was or what was happening so I came out of the bunk ready for hunting griz and pissed off.I peeped as best I could in my drivers mirror and there stood this same heifer who was continuing to smack the side of my sleeper which was giving me a terminal case of red ###.I put my boots on and jumped out of the truck and told her that we had already had this discussion and she had better mark my truck well cause although not a fan of thumping women,if she woke me up again "I would kick a turd out of her as long as a well rope".Even tho' I was in underwear and boots only,I still stand 6'3 and go 250 so I figured I had scared her off and she wouldn't be back anymore.Oh yea ,I was the man.She didn't want none of this.I'd pull her lips off and make her kiss her own hind end ..lol..But just for safety sake (And probably the amusement of other drivers still awake) I got under my bunk and pulled my hotshot(battery powered cattle prod for you freight haulers) out and took it in the truck with me.I laid back down but couldn't really sleep and sure as could be about 30 mins later I felt my truck rock and someone pecking on my door.I'd had all I wanted...I smoke so I leave my drivers window cracked a bit ....I grabbed my hotshot...sloooowwwlllyy unzipped my curtain....eaaaaassssseeddd the snoot of that hotshot up to the crack in the top of my window and lit the fuse on it.BLUE LIGHTNING EVERYWHERE in the dark like that.I know I didn't touch her but she squalled like she had just crapped a squealing worm and disappear instantly from view.The rest of the night was uneventful.Next morning I roll up to fuel and I know it's unsafe and you're "TRAINING ENGINEER"(I love that company speak title so dearly) would not approve (for reasons shortly to become obvious) but I always climb out face first and without the proper 3 point exit going on.Straights without shields will quickly school you on 2 point then jump techniques.Anyway as I'm getting out my usual way,I snagged up and stumbled on something,lost my hat and looked like a tweeker on high speed chicken feed when I hit the ground.A driver fueling in the next island saw me and ran over to grab my hat and check on me(God bless him,but I could've done without his laughing).I was telling him I'd snagged something and at the same time he was looking at my step and he said "What in the hell is that"...There was a tapered piece of bright red wood sticking up about 4" above my step and caught in the treads!!!! It was that dang Lizards spike heeled shoe heel that had got caught and broken off when I gouged at her with the hotshot.Man,You wanna talk about a rare good luck charm.I WAS AS PROUD AS COULD BE OF THAT THANG.I carried that thing for quite awhile and a had a ton of fun telling the tale and claiming everything good that happened to me out on the road was cause of my "magical" lizard's heel.I traded it for a RK56 mic with a chrome cover and a set of diamond plate covers for a galaxy radio a few years back.And btw Kevo...if by some one in a billion chance you happen to be reading this post,that mic was junk and I want my hooker heel back.lol
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Hurricane69 · May 29, 2019

Skinner is a legend...traded that heal for a junk radio....had a 007 pulling a rack...

Crusader66 · May 29, 2019

MagnumaMoose said: ↑

Here it is.
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When I get through laughing I'll make a comment.

That's almost better than the Werner trainer story, not quite but close, lol.

Westbound23 · May 29, 2019

Bear135 said: ↑

Yep, along a busy street.
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That Bare Necessities

Crusader66 · May 29, 2019

4mer trucker said: ↑

That's cheating
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I looked at it as just skirting the rules, lmao.

jamespmack · May 29, 2019

Well we was South, then we was North, Now we heading South again. As soon as I finish this free 90w coffee. Be safe gents. Have a customer waiting for there replacement machine.

4mer trucker · May 29, 2019

MagnumaMoose said: ↑

Here it is.
Click to expand...

That's hilarious @MagnumaMoose

Thanx for digging it up

wore out · May 29, 2019

Hurricane69 said: ↑

Skinner is a legend...traded that heal for a junk radio....had a 007 pulling a rack...
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I know where the 007 is

4mer trucker · May 29, 2019

wore out said: ↑

I know where the 007 is
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Give me some directions and I'll find if

LMAO

wore out · May 29, 2019

4mer trucker said: ↑

Give me some directions and I'll find if

LMAO
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Corning Arkansas

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