Need advice on a tragic situation

Discussion in 'Questions To Truckers From The General Public' started by Carriercompliance, Jul 20, 2019.

  1. Carriercompliance

    Carriercompliance Bobtail Member

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    I'm not going to use company or driver name because I'm not sure how his family would feel about that, but I need some advice.

    We have been working with a company out of Chicago for over 20 years. We have a very good relationship with them and they're awesome to work with. When our ops rep in Chicago got married last year several drivers from this company attended.

    On Saturday the 13th we booked a load headed to nowhere Canada and received an update when the driver cleared the border. He then vanished. He had been running these loads forever so of course we always let him be unless our customer requests an update, but the owners of his company became concerned pretty quickly.

    80 hours with no contact went by and during this time the police are trying to ping his cell and after no results his company hires a PI in Canada to try and track him.

    I've been holding out hope all week that maybe he broke down and his cell couldn't get service but he would be found. Or worst case he was in an accident and couldn't get help but would be found safe.

    I logged into work earlier today to see if there had been any updates. He was found late yesterday at a rest stop, he had passed away. I have no clue if it was natural causes or something else yet, not that it matters because he's still gone. His daughter had a baby two days after he went missing.

    I'm sick to my stomach over this and I can't think of what I should do.

    I need advice. I can't just send a condolence card and some flowers, that's ridiculous given our relationship with him and with his company. I previously sent a card to a driver that lost his wife and afterwards I thought about how asinine that must have seemed to him. I don't want to make that mistake again but I'm unsure what I can possibly do to help or express how truly sorry I am and how much he will be missed.

    Does anyone have any ideas?
     
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  3. rachi

    rachi Road Train Member

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    Sorry about the driver. I dont see anything wrong with sending a card.
     
  4. uncleal13

    uncleal13 Road Train Member

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    Cards of condolences are still valued, especially with a well thought out hand written message or perhaps a short story of a fond memory you have of the person.
     
  5. stayinback

    stayinback Road Train Member

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    Their isn't much else you can do....Attend his Proceedings in a bereavement style setting If you were very close.
    Make sure his family knows how close you were.

    I dont know that you can do much else-
     
  6. Carriercompliance

    Carriercompliance Bobtail Member

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    I will try to attend for sure if the family gives their blessings. I'm in Denver but I'm sure I can get the time off to go.

    I guess I'm not sure what else can be done and was hoping someone that's either on the road all the time or has a loved one in the road all the time might have advice on what they would want (that sounds morbid I guess).

    It's so unfair. I refuse to believe that a person can pass away at a rest stop and be there for a week and nobody notices. Nobody deserves that lonely end and to be honest I'm a bit angry that he was there alone for that long.

    I can't help but feel like there should be some network to send an alert to if a driver is missing. While police can be helpful, they might not know the routes that drivers take. It seems like a network of truckers keeping an eye out would be more useful. Does anyone know if there is such a thing?
     
  7. Scooter Jones

    Scooter Jones Road Train Member

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    Sorry to hear this.

    I'm sure your presence at the funeral will mean a lot to the family.
     
  8. stayinback

    stayinback Road Train Member

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    It doesn't get much worse than being found like that- Hence why anybody with brains wants to be an otr driver for any significant amount of time- Almost like a Burial At Sea- Never find you,But know your out there...somewhere.

    On a positive note- Just hoping he passed peacefully without pain and is now in a better place than this place we call earth,Where Mankind has Become out of touch with the simple things God has given us
     
  9. Scooter Jones

    Scooter Jones Road Train Member

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    We had a driver in his 50's. Very well liked and a good person. He had his curtain van loaded in the bay area.

    Moved out onto the street to strap, close and secure his curtains. Went back into his truck. 2 hours later shipper noticed the truck hadn't moved.

    They went to check on him, found him dead (of a massive heart attack) in the sleeper.
     
  10. Carriercompliance

    Carriercompliance Bobtail Member

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    Oh Jesus, I'm so sorry. He was way too young to die like that. How did you cope with it, both with the family and internally?
     
  11. uncleal13

    uncleal13 Road Train Member

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    I had a brother in law pass away in his sleep at the Husky truck stop in Lloydminster, Alberta. He called his mother every single morning.
    One day he didn’t call. Around supper time his mother contacted the company. They confirmed the truck hadn’t moved for 20 hours. They had a passing truck, then the RCMP check and found him dead in his sleeper.
    Strange thing is his father passed away at the exact same age and in his sleep too. At least he was at home in his own bed when that happened.
     
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