Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

YEEEHAWWWW hes back--and its about DA??/er
durn time..........glad your back to enlighten and thrill us all
once again !!!!!!!!!!!

 

Let's see, Headley is all caught up after six days of torture. Rikdev noticed that Barney isn't the brightest bulb in the box. Now Kenmar, let's see if the peace last and pjw044 it's good to be out, err.. back. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Mike and his two sidekicks roared off in a noisy cloud of dust. I helped Capt Hook clear the table and called Attorney Tick. Now, I couldn't see him tick but could invision it. Anyway, he advised me to wait until after the 24th. You know, the day I was suppose to report back to the Crank Frowley Justice Center. Yep, if the charges weren't filed and the DPS didn't accept that breath test refusal. Well, then TLX better return Ol' Blue and honor my lease, or prepare to defend a hefty lawsuit. I thanked tick. tick, tick, Tick and no sooner hung up, when ring, ring. Well, actually it was my cell phone playing the Godfather's theme music.

I answered, " Goose speaking. "

The voice, " It's Sherry and you haven't forgotten about our dinner date. Have you ? "

I searched for an excuse, " Oh, uh, about that uh, well, uh I've, you see, something's come up and ... "

Sherry was Sherry, " Don't hand me that ! It's Friday and you promised that you'd take me out. Whose there with you ? "

I glanced at Hook, " Capt Hook is here and Mike the Beard just left. "

Sherry was in the know, " Yeah, Mike said he was going to stopby your place. Was he wearing his Brothers colors and his president's patch ? "

I lit a 100, " Yeah, he was all decked out and had a few of his gang with him. Say, I hate to run but something really has come up. Can we get together say, maybe, next weekend. You know, it'd be better for me and ...."

Sherry didn't bite, " What's so #### important that you can't take time to eat and spend a little time with me ? I got my hair done and am on my way to the tanning salon ? "

I lied, " Well, I promised Capt Hook that I'd help him open his club and we've got a lot of things to do and tomorrow I ... "

Sherry invited herself, " Well, I can meet you there at Hook's place and we'll have it done in no time. Remember ? I work at a bar and know what needs to be done. I'll be there around 5 pm. Click ! "

I looked at the receiver, " #### ! That was No Buns and she's gong to be here, around five. "

Hook shrugged, " I heard you say, that we're opening back up. Barney, do you think that's wise ? I mean.. "

I blew smoke, " I told her that, because I needed an excuse not to take her flat butt out ! Gees ! Anyway, Mike said that everything is hunkie dorie and you shouldn't have anymore problems. "

Hook untied his apron, " Well, I'm glad to hear that and if you pitch in we can have her ship shape in no time. "

So, Hook called a glass installer. You know, to repair the boarded up window that had been shot out. I swept the broken stuff up and helped install the new one. Hell, by 4pm, Hook flipped on the open sign. Yep, all the locals knew about the gang fight and shooting, so they had kept their distance. Hook called in his handyman and a few minutes later the fishing barge was in operation. Remember ? It was located next to the Pirates Den (Hook's Place) and was where you could, for a small fee fish from inside. What a deal ! Anyway, things were coming along and I was busy playing barback. You know, carting the cold beer from the walk-in cooler and restocking the bar coolers. Yep, I was leaned over halfway, with two necks in my hands, when I heard them ride up.

Hook's eyes filled with fear, " Is that Mike, or ... "

I stood up, " I'll check it out, just stay inside and don't call the cops. Maybe, we're alright and there won't be any trouble. "

So, I sashayed over and stood by the front door. It was open and the gang was dismounting, just a few feet from me. There had to be a full dozen and they were all wearing Casper the Ghost colors. Their leader was a BIg Huskey dude and looked meaner than a junkyard dog.

I folded my arms, " Hey guys ! What's up "

Husky got in my face, " Are you the snitching, cop calling, ratfink ? "

I pointed, " No ! He's inside and is the owner. I just wanted to let ya'll know that you can't wear your colors inside. It's a new policy and I wasn't sure if ya'll knew about it. "

Big Huskey snorted, " Listen ! Nobody tells us, where we can fly our colors and you better step aside ! You got that ? "

I got it, " Man ! I was just trying to warn you. You know, Mike the Beard is the one who made that rule and... "

Big Huskey spat, " You talking about that piece of crap, President of the Sister's Motorcycle and Little Girls Club ? "

I grinned, " Yeah, but I wouldn't say that to his face. He gets pretty worked up, when anybody bad mouths the Brothers. You do know, that he is the President ? "

The Gang circled around me, as Huskey grasped my throat, " Look here Pop's and understand something ! I can snap your neck, like a twig and piss down your throat ! Now, get the hell away from me, before I lose my temper ! "

So. I was tossed aside, like a rag-doll, as the Bad Buns marched inside. The locals all swarmed out, as I sashayed back to the River Queen. My mind voices were divided and it was about a fifty/fifty split. You know, half of them wanted to reason things out and the other half was ready to take some action. Well, while they were discussing it, I got the 12 gauge and sashayed back. You know, we could reason better with double-ott buck. Anyway, Big Huskey had Capt Hook pinned against the bar and the gang was egging him on.

I made sure to rack it hard, " Clomp, Clomp ! Let him go and I mean it ! "

Big Huskey didn't blinked, " You don't have the balls ! "

KABLOOM ! What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

#### it! Left hanging. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode. LOL

 

Did Barney shoot horizontal or vertical?

 

Lets just hope he hit what he was aiming at........



Gun Control means hitting your target

 

Uh-oh! More trouble on the way for Barney!

Can't wait to see what happens next....

 

Its been a long time since I have had a chance to read up on the story. What a ride!

 

Oh man, it's good to see you are out,,,back! Keep firing off more tales, great reading!

 

Let's have a Big Snazzy Welcome, for starcommander our newest Snazzer. I see that Wenger, Dollylama, and Mountainmama have all made it back. Kenmar wonders if the shot went up or down, and Pj just hopes it hit it's mark. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

It was a perfect head shot and pieces flew in every direction. The bar was quiet as a funeral home and the silence was deafening. I rechambered another round, as the gang stood frozen.

Finally Big Huskey found his high pitched voice, " God #### ! Are you crazy ? You could of killed me ! "

I pointed the barrel towards the exit, " If ya'll leave now nobody gets hurt ! "

So, Big Huskey and his gang rushed out the door. Well, Huskey had to take it slow. Yep, he walked like he had a load in his pants. Anyway, Capt Hook eased himself onto a stool and I locked the door for good measure. I popped a couple of tops and sat next to him. He looked to be in shock and had to use both hands to take a swig. I spit out a couple of the pieces and waved my hand to clear the air.

I had to ask, " What the hell is all of that ? "

Hook fingered-thumbed some off his lips, " Hell, you must of hit Grand Daddy ! #### I hate that ! Look, you took his head right off and see that ? Some of them pellets got him in the gut. "

I looked behind the bar, " That old thing was full of these ? "

Hook nodded, " Yeah, there's a story behind that. You see, Grand Daddy was the biggest, smartest, oldest, and most talked about fish that ever swam these waters. Hell, he was a legend ! Fishermen from clear across the country traveled from all over to try their luck. Ol' Grand Daddy was too clever and no matter what they tried he always managed to get away. "

I took a swig, " Oh, I remember now ! You told me, that you caught him and had him mounted up there on the wall. But, I don't understand... "

Hook looked for flies on the wall, " Well, what I'm about to tell you has to stay between us. I don't want everyone to get wind of it. Do I have your word, that this won't leave this room ? "

I raised my right hand, " I swear ! "

Hook lit his cigar, " It was back in '75, and I decided to try my luck. See Barney, in order to catch something like that, you have think like they do. Now, I'd done my homework and listened to all the ones that had come close. You see, Grand Daddy had a six sense and somehow knew when there was a hook waiting for him. Yep, he'd eat mostly small birds, you know ducklings, cranes and water fowl. Yep, I knew them fools trying with regular bait were just wasting their time. "

I lit a 100, " So, that was the trick ? You hooked him using bird bait ? "

Hook blew smoke, " Your getting ahead of me here ! It wasn't that easy and Ol' Grand Daddy was smart as they come. He was a finky eater too and only ate between 4 am and sunrise. Yep, I found his favorite spot and decide to reel him in. Me and my wife, she was still with me back then. We'd get up at 3am and putter out there. I had that little dingy and an old outboard that we used. Yep, we'd drive out there to North Dallas and there was a chicken ranch. I'd buy me a dozen at a time and we'd fish from 4am, to sunrise every morning. Hell, just like clock work he'd swim up and tease the hell out of us. Yep, he knew that we were baiting him and wouldn't do nothen except nibble off them feathers. Yes Sir, he'd pluck them chickens plume clean and never even get near that hook. See, we'd hook them right under their wings and give em plenty of line too. Yep, Ol Grand Daddy wouldn't fall for it. "

I blew smoke, " Well, something most of worked ! You had him mounted up there and ..."

Hook took a swig, " Whose telling this story ? Now, let me finish ! Martha, that was my wife, she got upset, because I was so wrapped up and that's all I thought about. You know, who wouldn't of been ? Ol' Grand Daddy was a legend around here and rumor had it, that he was as vicious, as they come. You know, killing for the fun of it. Yep, more than one fisherman claimed that Grand Daddy would leap out of the water and snatch a bird right out of the sky. Then he take them under and drown em. Yep, all that would float up was the dead birds, but they were always plucked clean. "

I took a swig, " Man ! He was pretty big too ! I can see why, your wife might have had second thoughts. I mean, he's one hell of a fish. What did did he measure out at ? Must be at least a six footer ! I bet you had hell fighting him on a line ! "

Hook checked for more flies on the wall, " What happened was this ! I figured out, that Grand Daddy must of been able to sense them chickens being in distress. You know, having a hook in their wings and all. So, I stayed up nights trying to come up with a solution. I mean, weeks had gone by and he must of done drowned and plucked three dozen chickens, before it hit me. Yep, the trick was to put them hooks where they didn't upset the bird. So, it came to me. Yep, I went and got me one of them enema kits. You know, and stuck that hook right up that Chicken's butt. Oh, he fussed a little at first, but after awhile he settled down and I cast him out. Yep, Ol' Grand Daddy circled around and WHAM ! Yep, I started reeling away and was ready for the fight of my life. Hell, I wasn't sure if he'd fit in my boat. "

I was on the edge of my seat, " I bet, he put up one hell of a struggle and you had to really fight that line. "

Hook grew somber, " No, it was awful and was like pulling in an empity line. That's why not a word of this can ever get out. Hell, they had me on the front page of the local paper and some of them sports magazines even took pictures and interviewed me. I wouldn't let nobody touch or even close to him. That way it's stayed a secret all of these years. "

I didn't get it, " You don't want folks to know, that Ol Grand Daddy didn't put up a fight ? Why did you have stuffed and mounted ? "

Hook dropped his bomb, " I didn't have him stuffed ! Hell, he didn't weigh 15 lbs and was just full of feathers ! "

What a deal, as Life Goes On.
Nightie Night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Man, what a pillow of a fish story !!!!