Honest Opinions Needed

If England is where you're headed...Go home! Work out what needs to be worked out with your wife and then make a decision about driving OTR.
England is one of the worst companies out there (possibly THE worst!) OTR driving is either great or not too good depending on what you bring to it. If you come to it with marital issues that are unresolved and a lot of baggage, It's gonna be a drag. I worked for England as an experienced driver a few years ago and I was NOT IMPRESSED! I love OTR truckin' but you have to have your #### together or it can be a real bummer. Just my two cents...

 

You have multiple issues going on here. It would be really easy to just give you a blanket answer and say that your wife is right, but I think you need to look at all the parts of your problem.

• Your wife doesn't want you to leave. It is very difficult being a driver's wife. Some women do very well with it, other don't. Even the best of marriages fail under the strain. Some wives don't think they will like it, but end up enjoying the lifestyle. Your wife doesn't want you to leave, you should be very happy that she isn't happy to get rid of you. The health of your marriage should be paramount in your mind. You shouldn't have to give up your own desires, but you need to find a healthy balance.
• Your wife is concerned about you being away for long periods of time, in a 6 x 6 living compartment with another woman. Even though you and your friend are "just friends", things can happen. Especially in such close quarters. Especially when your marriage is a little old and stale. Especially when you are out trying a new adventure. You might swear up and down right now that there is nothing between you and your friend, but that might quickly change.
• How will your parents feel if you left the tire shop business? Would the business survive if you left? How would you feel if your parents had to close the shop without your help?
• Your wife has a very good point about England not having a very good reputation. Do your research. You will have the benefit of already having a friend to train you, but is she certified as a trainer?

It really boils down to what is best for you, and only you can answer that question. It seems foolish from an outsider's point of view to risk everything that you have right now, but only you can answer that question. Invite your wife to this site, have her chat with some of the other wives. She might be reacting out of fear of the unknown, or she might already know that she just isn't cut out for this kind of lifestyle.

 

Sea Bass,
I think leannamarie made some very valid points, stated quite well.

I would like to add..
Does your wife object to you going OTR, at all? Or just teaming with your female friend?

If she doesn't object to you going OTR on your own, and money isn't an issue, why not look into some reputable driving schools?
And, while in school, you can research which company you would like to drive for that accept students right out of school.

But, before anything, your marriage should be on firmer ground than what it seems from your post. A rocky marriage, and going OTR, do NOT go well together.

Good luck!

udi Kay

 

You are a rich man already and do not even realize it.

It is nice having friends last a life time. Enjoy your sight seeing with your friend and then GO HOME to your wife.

I can practically gaurantee this course of action will result in divorce. You think you 2 are drifting apart now? Wait until you have been gone for 3 to 6 weeks and then pop in for a day or 2 just to do laundry, say "Hi" in person, and then you have to pack up and leave again.

Well DUH!!!! She knows that if you pursue this she just lost a 22 year investment. She is begging you to stand by her. Divorces can be nasty. I urge you to rethink this long and hard.

The current economy has a glut of drivers. Drivers with many years of experience are losing their jobs due to the current economic collapse. They are now competing for scraps at bottom of the barrel companies and having to prove themselves all over again to a new employer. Trucking is NOT glamorous. It is long, hard, and very frustrating at times.

She must be a great woman to stay in a relationship with you for 22 years and still wants to keep you. "Helping" your friend is admirable but it should be about prioritizing your life. Your first responsibility is to the woman that you married.

As for not doing anything with your life? You raised children. Run a successful business. Have been married for over 20 years (a feat in todays society all by itself) And honor your parents by helping them. A life any man should be proud of!

The money you will earn as a trainee will range from 300 to 500 per week. The money you spend on the road per "day" may range from $20.00 to $50.00 each day based on; how often you eat, where you eat, and what you eat. Have a bad habit like smoking? chewing? or eating lots of snacks? and that figure can get much higher. To be fair you will not get any regional run for a while. Regional runs go to senior drivers first and then get passed on down the line. By the time you get enough seniority under your belt to get your own truck you may not have a home to go home to.

You ARE abandoning her. You will be GONE for weeks at a time. A phone call is okay but is no substitute for holding your wifes hand, hugging her each day, kissing her good night, or laying with her in bed each night. Money is NOT everything. You know what is? LOVE. FAMILY. FRIENDS.
The OTR truckers on the roads today are busting their butts to try and make money for their loved ones back home. To try and make enough money to buy a house. To save enough money for a decent retirement. To insure they and their families have benefits such as medical, dental, vision, etc. You do not need to do this. Your wife clearly has a GREAT job. I suspect great benefits as well. Dude you already have the AMERICAN DREAM!

CR England does in fact have a poor rep in the industry. It is based on accepting new, bright eyed recruits that have no idea what the life is all about or the loneliness that goes with it.

The top occupations for highest divorce rates? Military, Police Officers, Paramedics, Truck Drivers. They also have a high rate of suicides due to job stress.

Your wife is a wise woman. Be proud and honored that she loves you enough (and trusts you) to allow you to go with this other woman to see the country.

If you got on your friends truck the first week in June and it is the middle of July now that is almost 6 weeks. I hope that you have been home within that time frame.

This is coming from a 39 year old man who has spent the last 18 years on the road. Spending over 300 days away from your loved ones to "make more money" is ludicrous.

It is commonly known that truck drivers will spend the majority of their time UNPAID. Sitting around waiting to load or unload, wait for a new load assignment, fueling the truck, eating, sleeping, showering, talking on the phone. You are limited to 11 hours of driving within a 14 hour period. Figure out ALL the time you spend away from your family and you will soon realize you have no social life and are making around 3 bucks an hour.

You say; "but I want to travel and see the country!" Great. You will see the country from the cab of that truck while it whizzes by at 60 to 70 mph. Be careful where you park that rig too. Trucks are prohibited in many scenic rest areas and resort areas (unless you are making a delivery and then they want you to drop your freight and GET OUT!)

Do some more reading and I think you will quickly realize the trucking industry is a sweat shop on wheels that grinds up its workers and spits them out only to replace them with new wide eyed recruits the very nest week.

 

@Sea Bass: stay home, love your wife, enjoy your life.

I have a sweet OTR job working for a local company. Great pay, great health plan, 401K with company matching, Employee Stock Option Program, paid sick days, paid holidays, and few other items. I team drive the same tractor/trailer on the same routes each month (about 14K/miles doing coast to coast routes). I work about 16 days a month with decent off time between trips. It's a peach and I'm lucky to drive for these guys... A LOT luckier than most of the drivers I know...

I'd give it all up in heartbeat if I could. You can't get back the time you spend away from your wife and loved ones. Consider how important that is to you... On the road, you have time to think about what is *really* important, and then it eats away at you ... Driving a "big rig" at first can have some very cool moments and the "romance and adventure" aspect is exciting at first. But then these are gone, and it really doesn't take long, it's just another job...

Make money? You'll drive long hours for not a lot of pay. You'll start to ask yourself, what the hell am I doing THIS for? Downtime waiting at the dock for a load, waiting at the dock for an unload, waiting at a truck stop or elsewhere for ANY load.... There's no money there. Most companies don't compensate for downtime UNTIL you've been stuck for awhile. As has been pointed out, there's a glut of drivers out there, all looking for a load and the pickin's can be pretty slim. I constantly see truck stop lounges full of guys who are down waiting for loads... In short, this really isn't a good time to be thinking about OTR anyway IMHO...

Your wife is right. If you really want to drive, train locally, drive locally if you can. Even a regional might work out. Get your feet wet and some experience around home first. It'll give you and your wife time to experience and then gauge the effects it has on both of you.

Currently, I'm searching out another company that has local and local regional routes. I'm sure to lose out on some benefits and pay when I finally do move, but I'd gladly trade those losses for time with my wife and loved ones.

That's what is really important to me.

Cheers and good luck.

BTW, I would NEVER consider team driving with another woman as long as I was married. Friendship only goes so far...

 

Local can be worse. Junk equipment, late nights. Home a couple hours. At least on the road you sleep half way decent. What good is being home if you don't see anybody there?

 

I see that your wife believes that if you make this choice you are putting her opinion second to the long time friend and I believe she's right. If you don't need the money and make this choice you'll need every dime you make because the courts will see that you ran off with another woman on the road. The wife will get the house and anything she can and it will leave you broke. To me it's a very dumb move. You can find other ways to get your CDL and drive and I think this would make your wife very happy. If money is not a problem that puts you in a great postion to pick and choose who you want to drive for. In fact I believe if you're solo your wife will meet you at the door with open arms.

Going this way is the best and if your marriage does fail then you know it's not because of the other woman. Of course it's all up to you but I think we're are betting that the other woman would ruin your marriage.

 

Honest answer,here goes?First of all does your wife object to truck driving completely or just the fact you would be on the road with a female friend?If its the fact of female friend then I believe you will have more issues then you need because the time you dont call her she will think something is going on or etc...If she doesnt object to you truck driving then find a job on your own if its what you really want to do...Being a truck drivers wife,I can say its hard,some women can deal with it and others just hate the thought of being alone,my advise is sit down with your wife and both of you get a piece of paper and pen and write the pros and cons to it and then compare your thoughts,if you 2 really love and care for each other you will work it out...

 

I can't dispute that... But might as well get to know the "best and worst" of it.... Local or OTR, same game...

Cheers.