allergic to trainers cigarettes

I have downy fabric softener sheets tucked in my vents, most people can't even tell I smoke in my truck!...Learned that trick in the car business when I drove demos...Always smells so good!!

 

Mack Attack, you need to follow my patented three step plan to strengthen your lungs.

1) Go to a local bar and breathe as deeply as you can for 6 hours. You may cough a bit at first--this is normal. It might be helpful to have a few shots of Wild Turkey to calm your gag reflex.

2) Purchase ten packs of cigarettes, varying in strength, smoking them all from lightest to strongest over the course of an hour.

3) When your lungs have built up enough resistance, begin your day by smoking a carton of unfiltered Camels before you even get out of bed. Then wash the tar down with a 16 oz glass of Southern Comfort and you'll feel energized like never before.

I've been doing this every day for the last three weeks. I'm pretty sure it has increased my stamina and sexual prowess... or it might have been the crack. I'm not sure yet.

 

Well. If you are a severe allergy sufferer like me (to pollens) you will be smart enough to roll your car windows up, run the A/C and filter out all that pollen. If you have allergies and you don't do this, you're not thinking it through. That's not my problem.

And don't give me that bull about my exhaled 3 cubic feet of smoke getting past my 10 remaining feet of tractor, 3' of space between tractor and trailer, 53' trailer, the 40 or so feet of space between my trailer and your car, the 4 feet of your hood, all at 60 or more miles per hour, intact and then getting through your vent filters. Puh-LEASE!!

 

OK...
start....here are some things I like to do:
I like to ride my bicycle for 30 or 40 miles until I am to the point of exhaustion....
I like to have sex for about 2 hours at a time, multiple times per day...
I like to eat chocolate....
I like to drink a Blue Moon after a long hard bike ride, or during the middle of a long hard bike ride...
I like to drive a Peterbilt up and down the road....
I like cats, cause they taste like chicken...

Tell me which one of these I can't do.....

 

Well, I'm a cat person and a dog person . . . we'll discuss your punishment for THAT later.

You can't have your Blue Moon anymore . . . there.

 

I'd stay away from the Chocolate, myself!

 

I like my chocolate too though. Keeps me in a good mood!

 

Was that sex question a misprint? Was that supposed to be 2 minutes at a time?

 

Hey Nic....Got ur ears on?

 

Rabbit ears and a box of chocalate.