And so it begins...

I enrolled in drivers school.

It won't be too long from now that I'm clogging the hammer lane going 58mph yelling at you old grizzled "been there done and got the 8" stacks" truckers in your shiny long hooded chromed out chicken lighted ancient pieces of iron. I want you to know that I've got like 50 pairs of flip flops lined up to huck out the window at you as you go flying past.

PS- thanks to you guys on here for giving me some really good background and reality into how to get started. I signed a 5 year contract at $.23 per mile and have a lease payment of $2000 per week. I only need to run like 13,000 miles per week to break even. I get accessory pay if I get my 9 year old to solder battery packs for iPhones while we drive. and he can wave at Mommy as we pass by our house once every 300 days.

I'm pretty excited to learn how to pee in a bottle as I drive. I've been practicing on the couch between Kale smoothies.

Anyway. Seriously thanks to this forum and you drivers. I probably never would be doing this without the combined knowledge of all of you. I look forward to being able to complain as a driver.

 

That really is the dream isn't it?!

 

Nope.

Because of the Nude thread I'm driving buck ### naked. Because I'm fat it'll lowers the weight of the truck and helps increase MPG that way the super-corpo trucking company can further their profits while I can treat myself to a once a month shower from the increase in CPM from my fuel savings.

 

Classic. That never would’ve occurred to me. Gotta step up my game