Exploring Other Options

Have you met other Werner drivers? There is one on this board that is female...Fyrstar. She may be a good team mate. Personally, I would want to meet the person and spend some time with them at dinner, etc, before I made the commitment. Also, there are a couple of guys (Aftershock, Lurchgs, Danc694u, Notarps4me) that I would team with and at this point feel safe...Of course, I only know these guys from the forum, and I am older, but I would trust them to respect and protect me.

You are a professional truck driver. Demand the respect!

Buy yourself a ring for protection.

I'm sure you are beautiful and don't sell yourself short. I am 47, blonde, blue eyed and 15 pounds overweight and they still hit on me. When they look or say something, I think, "Don't you know I'm the mother of 4 and the grandmother of 1 and one on the way and married to most wonderful guy in the world?" I think they are all either hard up or just juvenile..... Smile and move on...Don't put too much into their behavior or actions. Most men are just little boys grown big! Some are wonderful, like mine....

Good luck!

 

What's wrong with being older? My wife is the first female I ever dated who was YOUNGER than I was. Well, she still is.. but she won't let me compare gray hair muahahah!

Absolutely. Self assertion. self CONFIDENCE.

Dunno - a lot of us either are too stupid to see it <ahem> or don't care. There ARE a lot of women out there who don't care either, after all. And it most certainly won't stop me from drooling. Fairly quietly. Usually.

WTH is wrong with that? 15 pounds is poohpooh. God save us from those anorexic bimbos. Wimmin is made to be padded (I almost said patted, but figger I'd get my fingers broke)

ah ! that last bit is the killer. Maybe if y'all wore a shirt that says "I like it with HIM, not you" or something.. y'know. Something obvious. We guys aren't terribly good at this stuff, after all.

On the other hand, the first bit.. aaaah, that first bit. That's a draw. Trust me, I'm a guy, and I know these things.

yes

Truth, here - mostly it IS just a game. Just because I watch football doesn't mean I'm stupid enough to actually PLAY it.

I don't think I'm going to try to address this. You can find me in my room, pouting, if you need me.

Iroc

Heh - it's odd. Yes, the wifeoid and I have rings.. and it's bugged me for 25 years that the diamond (really, just a chip) is so small. She could give a rat's .. tailbase about it, but it bugs me. Just never had the $$ to do something about it. (Thank goodness for me, she's not a jewelry/makeup/accessory person!).

Even so, I don't understand the need for the ring. To me, it's a symbol of your commitment to each other...for OTHER people to see - a signal that the two of you should be thought of as a unit,and if you screw with one, you are screwing with both.

To each other, the ring should be a reminder for when you are apart. Since y'all are rarely apart, the ring should have less significance to you.

(going back to my wife's ring - it's not the symbolism or anything - it's merely the fact that she doesn't have the best possible ring that drives me nuts)

Of course, this is a GUY speaking... and our priorities are usually a little different from yours - but that's the way I see it.

Part of the problem at stops and the like is that most men don't know beauty when they see it... they stop at pretty - which is the form. Beauty is on the inside. The downside is that it sometimes takes a while for it to be recognized.

I will absolutely be the first to admit that my wife would never grace the slick pages of {name your favorite girly mag here}. Short and stocky.. but absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever known.

 

Abrasiveness to strangers? You may have been born to be a truck driver. I can empathize with you about not being able to walk into a truck stop without getting ogled. I have gone so far as to grow a full beard and gain a spare 25 lbs or so just to keep the naughty little hands off me. Still it is a struggle. Back when I was young and slender and pretty to look at, it hurt my conscience to have to beat women off with a stick. I would suggest the same except the beard could be a bit difficult for a lady.

Alright, silliness aside.
I would encourage you to drive solo for three to six months and re-evaluate your desire to be a trainer. Solo driving will teach you and eventually your students (if you still want to teach) a new and unique set of skills. Truck stop jitters can be overcome. Most guys feel those jitters in one way or another, largely it is a confidence thing for us. Use your natural reserve around strangers as a shield. Walk tall and confident. Ask opinions rather than for help. Consider yourself "on camera" and play up the image that you want to convey. ("Co-driver? I don't need no stinking co-driver!" please check Blazing Saddles for reference) I dunno what it is like to be a woman on the road. I do know what being out of my element is like. It's not a comfortable feeling but, in the end it teaches you a lot about yourself and how you can deal with things.

 

I agree with everyone here. Id give solo a try before saying you will never do it. As for truckstops, Im not the biggest guy(5'9 140-ish lbs), but I walk with assertion and purpose. Those who prey on people will most likely look for an easy target, so I try not to seem like one. Most men hit on women because they like what they see. If you can change your look to be less attractive, Im sure that would turn some
would be leg humpers' away. Im sure youll be fine. Good luck!

 

I dont blame you one bit about the ring thing, it would definately matter to me, but then again I LOVE diamonds, the more the merrier!! I have 3/4 of a carot all together, after 16 years I am still waiting for that full one LOL I know im terrible!!!All that aside, I also completely understand, why you would not want to do it alone, I really think that I would feel saffer with someone to, but I also think that a girl might not be a bad idea, given your current situation, but as long as she is a hederosexual LOL. Good luck with whatever it is you decide to do!!



Ya and things will blow over on the seashores of old Mexico

 

Thats funny about the rumbble strips, my husband said that when he was training, he always thought he was doing it on purpose? I would not of surprised him as he was a hum dinger to say the very least he he


I dont blame you for being upset about the friends and family thing, I was thinking about it today, and I think it is pretty crappy, and I know myself I would not feel to good about that nor to comfortable, what the heck is the big secret anyway? I was going to tell you exactly how I feel, but I will refrain, as it is none of my buisness, but just felt I had to reiterate on that comment!! I hope somehow things get better for you, in your relationship! Or if it comes down to it be able to put it behind you and move on with your life and career.

 

Girl for the truck stops carry a very very sharp knife.
But before you buy it learn to use it first... and don't get something to big. A little know fact in most case you use only the first 1/4 inch. It makes them bleed real bad. you save the rest of the knife in case you need it. Or you carry a big gun. I know that trucking companies don't like it But that is a choice you make..Don't tell anyone if you do carry. You never know when you will find a rat.

 

Eh, just run the same routes as me IROC, I will protect ya even though you are into Bowties

Seriously though, I wouldn't worry too much about the morons who will hit on you. Most of them haven't seen a woman that wanted to be in there presence for less than 75 bucks an hour in so long they don't know what to do. It's their little way of trying to play impress the other idiots on Ch 19.

I am sure with enough ##!$##$ you attitude and your head held high walking in and out, no one would bother you.

Or you could just adjust your schedule to run like I do (I do it for ease of parking this spread axle pig but either way) and shut down by 4pm at the latest and get all you need done in the day light hours. Then be up and ready to roll out the door at the crack of dawn which is usually around 3am for me. At that point, you have front row parking when you show up so you just walk past the fuel islands into the truck stop in the mornings before you leave and it's nice and well lit all the time.

Took me a bit of trial and error to make it work this way and still always have time to make it to the next shipper after I go empty but it's down to a science now for the most part and I never have to try and squeeze this non aggreable trailer into a 1/2 a spot on a blind side at 9 at night like I could with a regular van.

 

Iroc..

ok - I'm back in with the counseling. That bit about not telling family and friends.. WTF? Even *I* have a problem with that. I should darn well imagine you do, too.

That boy has issues

slodsm has a good idea, there. Drive so you shut down early. 14:00 to 16:00 every day. Get yourself a 'fat man' slot )parking spot just spitting distance from the store at the truck stop(. Get all the gotta get done stuff... done.

Later, if you feel confident enough, you can return to the store. If the place looks.. unsavory.. keep the doors locked and the Dobie-o-Matic handy (ha! I can make more obscure references than BullGoose)

I know, I'm speaking from the point of view of a rather large and intimidating looking male of the species; but in my limited experience, most truck stops really are not all that bad. From a personal safety point of view, that is. The Pilot on Bordentown NJ should be nuked, bulldozed, then nuked again. Morons "planned" that place.

Drivers can be crude, rude, socially unacceptable, and just plane unsavory, but most are harmless.

And, as Longbed points out - if you don't LOOK like a victim, you probably wont BE a victim.

Park next to me and I'll even turn the reefer off for you