family question

I see you survied the shooting then over there Big Don

 

What shooting? I've been gone for a while.

HillJill. It gets easier as time goes on, it takes trust, and a lot of getting used to. Expect fights, cussing, screaming, shouting, etc etc. You can also expect times when he cant wait to get out of the house, and other times when you're on the phone and the only place he wants to be at that point in time is next to you. You're husband sounds a lot like me, it doesn't bother me to be away from people (used to not anymore). He has responsibilities at home but realize he's with a mega they don't get home that often. If he puts in a year he can probably find an LTL job that gets him home during the day, or even something regional where he's home ever 2 weeks or every weekend, but that takes some time to work your way into. There are also opportunities where he may be able to stop coming through the area, I did that for a while I was more regional than OTR, but there were many times I asked the boss if he was buying out of KS or SD if I was told he was buying out of Northeast KS I bounced home and slept in my own bed. There are times even in OTR when you can get home for a night, that's at least something, don't know how the big companies feel about that but if I were him I wouldn't care.

It's not easy being married to a trucker, I can tell you from a males perspective we've got 3 loves in our life, our family, our trucks and the road. And once the diesel is in your veins it never leave I don't mean to burst your bubble by any means, or make you feel bad I'm just trying to help you understand the way it is at times. Having kids at home makes it harder don't have any of my own but I did watch my dad leave for many times, and I still do. I've listened to fights at night over a truck and the family and what means more (we own our own trucks) I've been in those fights before myself. Not all relationships are like that, sometimes they do happen though. I've also watched a driver take a load when the family needed the money and a wife go livid on him (that wasn't my family thank god).

It takes a lot of time to adjust it's not an overnight thing, it's not even a 6 month thing, but I can tell you it does get easier over time. It takes a very strong family to deal with the ups and downs of trucking, it's not a job it's a lifestyle. Some fit into it others wash out and can't take it. You don't know what's going to happen when it all starts and won't know for a while.

Now for things that make it easier FROM BOTH SIDES! Communicate every chance you get, always call him if he doesn't call you at night, don't text it's not the same call. He should call you every night even if it's just to tell you that he loves you, and that he's okay. DON'T FIGHT with each other while he's gone and on the road. It's NOT worth it, and all it does is cause him to get stressed while he's behind the wheel, and it hurts you as well. It's hard at times but it's not worth it. Let it go, talk about it when you're face to face at home, even then it ain't worth fighting, just sit down and talk about it. Fighting doesn't solve anything with us, I don't know him, but it may do what it did to me when I'd get in a fight with the X's I'd just walk out to the truck turn the key and hit the road again. I'm not saying he's going to be that way, but it may be that way at times. There are more important things in life than to worry about fighting when you're home, home time is supposed to be enjoyable with the family. Think about that and tell him to think about that if you do get into it while he's home. Just say "Hey you're home we don't see each other much, let's not fight lets work this out and lets enjoy the little time we have together before you have to leave again". Be rational about things and don't sweat the small stuff.

I can't say how anything is going to work out for y'all I wish you the best in dealing with things, I hope you can both figure things out and it all works out. Welcome to the forum, there are a few threads about this around I'll check into them tomorrow and send them off to you. Good luck with everything and god bless.

 

Sorry, but it sounds like he is a selfish jerk.

 

You're welcome, and anytime. I can relate to the way you feel, my pa was home every night for the first 15 years of my life, changed over to line haul, he worked nights, and it was a rare thing to see him for more than 15 minutes a night, just long enough to give him a hug tell him to be safe and I'd see him the next night. Right now it sounds like he's at that point where he's still learning, you may want to suggest to him at his 6 month mark to start putting in applications at different places that have regional work where he can get home more often. Most will want to see a year under his belt but it never hurts to put the application in. I'm guessing by horror stories you're talking about cheating and what not, I don't know him, but for every story you heard that was true, there were probably 10 or 20 stories that were nothing but lies. You can get through this it's just a minor bump in the winding road we call life. I know it's hard on you and the little ones both, I'm sure there are more wives out there that can give you some insight. I know there's a few groups on FB that are dedicated to the wives of truck drivers, I'm sure they can help you out as well as the other wives on the forum. Good luck with everything, I truly hope things get better for y'all.

 

There could be another side as well. I know a guy that everytime its time to roll he gets that sick feeling in his stomach. Runs his butt off so he can get back as soon as possible. Because of being responsible and wanting his family to have the best of everything not knowing anything other than when you take a job do it to the best of your ability personal feelings aside, cause like I said has a family to feed. Tells her He is ok with the road when he may not be. Not to lie to her but to be strong for her cause she would say come home in a minute and we can live in a box under an overpass. Some days they don't talk much cause she may see it bothers him being gone too, and in the end quitting scares him to death cause its all he knows. Its a curse and a blessing how it will end only God knows.

 

My wife drinks with her boyfriend........lol...j/k..

 

He chose the wrong company to be home every weekend. Prime is a good company but not for hometime.

Maverick and McElroy have every weekend home programs. I understand TMC is real good about hometime.

 

I go home once a month....like it when im headed home hate to leave love it when im back out

 

Does she know about your blowup girlfriend and the can of fix-a flat.