I need some personal help.

The only way i ever had ''BALANCE'' with Life,Love,Family,Sexual Relations,Intamacy and a Personal Life was becoming an O/O...Never did i have a good life as a company driver.

I love being an O/O.I come and go as i please..I have 10 days off as we speak.I may take another 10 off...I am enjoying so much being home and being my own PERSON...

Try it,it may be your answer...

 

You can't make anyone happy, people are happy when they want to be happy. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL WHAT SO EVER OVER THIS!! Oh you can destroy their happiness, but you can not make others happy, I think this is probably a lot where you are going wrong, there is a world of difference between what you perceive is going to make everyone happy and what is the right thing to do. Do what is the right thing to do and you will be fine.

You want your wife to be happy with you? Work hard, be responsible, be dependable, that is what you signed up for after all when you said I do, you notice in the wedding vows it doesn't say anything about provide happiness, generally they say to love honor cherish and protect, and/or provide what ever permutation you said I do to, that is what you signed up for.

I tell you this much too, you get her into a house, and I do mean a house and not a crappy apartment, I mean a house where she can make it a home, and all of the sudden you have a couple of thousand dollars in the bank, life is going to feel a lot different to you.

Another thing, you need to be saving money, if you don't need to spend it then don't, raising a kid today costs between 250,000 and 300,000 dollars, you need to have money set aside because now junior is going to have unexpected expenses, and you don't want your kid needing medical care and you can't get it because you don't have the co-pay.

What I am going to suggest you do is get one of those big yellow legal pads, you sit down with your wife, and you two start figuring out the things you really need out of life and you start making a plan together of how you are going to get them, you start coming up with a budget, and you start figuring out how you make it happen and you work as a team with her to make it happen and you stick to that plan.

I think when you can show her that this is a team effort between you and her, and that her input is valid and wanted that is going to make things a lot smoother for you, but when it comes right down to it, you are the bread winner and the man of the house and it is time to kick it in gear and act like it and take charge and do what you have to do.

Also, borrowing money isn't going to fix anything for you, don't get into that trap, you want something work hard, save up and pay cash for it, you will have much more income in the long run. If you can do it no car payment nothing. You don't want to find yourself out of a job for what ever reason and saddled with a bunch of payments. Especially if something happens like you get in a wreck out on the road and get hurt and spend several months down, you don't want the bank taking your car away when you are depending on it to get to the doctors office or to physical therapy or to get the kid to school.

I know it is tough being away from the kid, you are going to watch him change in snapshots, you will go out a few weeks and come home and the kid will have grown up some, this is going to happen, you want quality time with your kid for sure, kids do need their dad around and this is why you need to make sure you are on solid financial footing, so when you want to you can take a week off and spend time with your kid with out having the ever present feeling of impending doom because you have bills coming in that you already can't pay.

Also what I am going to suggest to you is those lonely nights when you are on the road with nothing to do, you take that time to work on becoming the best #### truck driver you can be, you learn the regs, you learn the business, don't simply be an occupant of the industry, be a participant, and you will find that your time on the road is much more produvtive and you will find that as you figure out what you are doing that people start to really regard you as a professional driver not just a guy holding a steering wheel warming a seat for a living.

Not only that but doing this is what is going to open the doors to better things, the outfit you are diving for now, they might suck, in fact I am sure they do with what your work record lately has been, and that is all the more reason why you need to do this because you aren't just going to walk off and find another job, the right job is going to find you when you can get out and demonstrate to the industry that you are a competent professional who is knowledgeable, dependable and trustworthy.

I will get off my soap box now.

 

Only you and your wife can answer the question "can anyone really be happy in the situation were in"..

You are a man that has a family and HAS to be supported. So far YOUR family has been supporting them..

Make a flipping choice..You are asking US for absolution..If you can support you family off the road..God bless ya..If you can't support them, meaning providing your own roof, food, utilities and transportation without being on the road?! Suck it up! Provide and protect your wife and kids!

Stop looking for someone to tell you it's gonna be ok.. YOU and only YOU have to make it okay!

I served with people that huddled in the corner and cried every night they wanted to go home..THEY still did what was needed and was expected of them..

I truly want to tell you that your family is going to be warm, lights will be on, and bellies will be full..no matter what choice you make..

Reality is, walmart pays $7.35 an hour, along with McDonald's..etc..and that money isn't supporting you, let alone a family..

 

THAT is a great response! I wish someone had said that to me 10 years ago.

 

No one here is going to be able to solve your problems. Look deep and hard in to the mirror and search within yourself to find the right answer. Missing your newborn son, wife, family and friends? I think just about every person on this site can relate. There are days when I absolutely can't stand this job. Hate it almost. But I gut it out for many reasons, the pay being one of them. Two years ago I was making $330 a week working a crap job at a car dealership. I could barely support myself, let alone a family. Now I'm making more than double that and have my own place, no outstanding debt and a confidence about my financial security that I've never had. I lack a college degree and I'm fine with that. I always wanted to be a truck driver. Maybe it's just not for you. I don't even mean to sound harsh, it's definitely not a lifestyle for anyone and everyone.

Do what YOU have to do to provide and support your family. You are supposed to be their rock, their pillar to lean on. If you have to work 20 hours a day waiting tables, cleaning toilets, flipping burgers or whatever, do it. But you #### sure better bust your ### going above and beyond the call of duty if it means giving up a career to be home all the time. Is OTR a permanent gig? Not always. You can certainly start finding local or dedicated work once you've gained your experience. Talk to your wife and let her know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Think of it this way. You miss your child now, sure. So you take a low paying job so you can see them both every night. Fine. But if you stay where you are now, you can provide so much more for them in the end. Life is what you make it. Do whatever you must as a man.

 

Thanks, I'd like to think I have half a clue for being 32 years old! lol

 

Listen to the many wise ones... young grasshopper. Do or do not, there is no try.

Dude, seriously... buck up, man up, and get out there to make a living for your family. If driving isn't for you because you're away from your family, then find something else to do in trucking. First things first though... get the hell out of Poplar Bluff. There is nothing in that rinky dink town unless you plan to continue driving. We just hired a guy as a salesman/dispatcher that was a driver who couldn't stand being away from his kids. Nothing wrong with that, but he's now working extremely hard to try to provide for his family in a field he wasn't experienced in and behind the eight ball on. Above all else... STOP JOB HOPPING. You're going to render yourself unemployable. It may not show up on DAC, but worse than DAC is word of mouth. In a small town like Poplar Bluff and Southeast MO you're setting yourself up for failure. Trust me... my family is from Kennett.

 

You do but the other half of a clue will come in the next 32 years! LOL I'm joking man, It brought some things to light and I've got 16 years on you! Thanks, See here you help more then just the one you are posting to!. Thanks, Good Words to go by. OK Off to make the Donuts!

 

Lmao.. I'm 47, maybe you young pups can teach us old dogs a few things..

I hope he finds his way..we all have choices.

Everybody! Good luck, I pray for everyone every night. Out