I'm baaaaaack!!!!!!!!

Fair and legitimate questions.

Answering them all in detail does in fact present me with an ethical dilemma as I make it a rule to not bad mouth my employer, especially when I don't feel they really deserve bad mouthing (which is the case here). And I can't see a way to go into enough detail to satisfy your curiosity without venturing awfully far into those waters. I refuse to be that guy. Here's what I can tell you:

I've given it a month. I have not turned down any loads, even though some of them have disregarded my PTA and made me drive tired, something I hate to do and plan meticulously to avoid. The closest I have come was asking for them to open the window on a trailer shag because I had gotten less than 4hrs sleep the previous night and I wanted to take a nap, but that I would absolutely get the trailer there if they really needed it there that day. My dispatcher said the best thing to do would be to cancel the trailer shag as it was not critical and it would be better for me to be rested than to take an unnecessary risk by driving tired. (I assume that incident is where Double Yellow got the impression that I had turned down a legal dispatch--not what happened; it was their idea to remove it. Ironically, the next day, what I got was the exact same trailer shag.)

I got no bonus for coming over; Gordon was not offering one at the time. The only extra money I have gotten was a couple hundred on my second week after four consecutive short hauls that I asked about. I did not demand anything; I was merely asking if I was doing anything wrong on my PTA's to make them think I had no hours. I have no intention of demanding anything extra from the company. I was hired at a certain rate and agreed to it. The pay isn't the problem. The comment about "I might consider staying" was poorly worded as it was meant as a rhetorical statement. I don't make life altering decisions in anger; that has never worked out well for me. In truth, for Gordon to "sweeten the pot," as it were, they would have to completely overhaul their culture. I would be a desperate megalomaniac to think for even a second that would happen--they've done fine without me and will continue to do fine after I leave.

The bottom line, after bypassing all the details, is that I don't feel comfortable in a big company environment. I don't feel like I'm a good fit for this organization and I think it's best if I sever the relationship early before anybody starts getting bitter. It's the same reason I'm not going back to Celadon (have been told I'm welcome to come back if it doesn't work out at Gordon). Well, that and the pay.

I'm moving to a much smaller company. It is in fact where I was going to go originally when I left Celadon, but I decided to go with Gordon, in part because of The Hot Chick who wanted to remain under the auspices of a large corporation. What I've discovered is, even with better pay, and for reasons I won't go into here, in a large carrier environment I'm a very square peg in a very round hole.

That's going to be the extent of the conversation tomorrow--"Hello. Your truck is in the shop getting its needed repairs. While I appreciate the job and don't really have anything bad to say about Gordon, I have decided that I am simply not a good fit for your operation; I am finding life in a large company environment frustrating and believe it would be best for both of us if I terminate my employment early in the relationship before anybody starts getting bitter. I'm moving to a much smaller operation. Thanks for the opportunity and I'm sorry it didn't work out but I don't think it will get any better for either of us if I stick around. Goodbye."

Even if they offer me retroactive pay (they won't) I wouldn't stick around as the pay isn't the problem here. I think you'll agree that they pay pretty well per mile.

So--is there a fairness issue here? Probably. You have valid points about the investment in getting a new driver started. On the other hand, life isn't fair. Viewed in the macro I won't even be a blip on their radar, especially considering the turnover rate you mentioned. Although I do believe it would be difficult for me to come back, at least in the short term.

I tend to be a little old school too. I measure my life by a yardstick outside my thought processes, so it doesn't change according to my mood or circumstances. That yardstick makes the point that an error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to own up to it and correct it. I made an error coming here instead of going to the smaller company like I originally intended. Being too stubborn to admit my error will turn it into a mistake. Mistakes do damage.

Heck, even The Hot Chick is seeing that now. Then again, she is privy to a lot more information than I'm putting across this forum. I shared your concerns and they made me ambivalent about moving. Truth is, I shouldn't have come here to begin with. I've wasted a month of my time and Gordon's time, and it's time to correct that error before it turns into a mistake.

 

Just for the record, I answered said question BEFORE I saw your post, although it took so long to answer that it doesn't show up til after your post. So there.