Move to the US

Lots of people get pissed at work too.

 

The nearest one to you will be USTDS in Fountain. You'll probably need to have a Class A learner's before you apply, which again goes to the bit about needing to be a licensed driver for a year before being eligible for a CDL. There might be some box van jobs to tide you over in the meantime... under 26k, no CDL required... just don't work for Lee Hing Food Company, whatever you do.
Looking on the Colorado Department of Revenue website, it only says you must hold a valid Colorado Drivers License before obtaining a CDL permit, without any specifics pertaining to the amount of time you need to hold it before getting a CDL. The Secretary of State's website simply says you need to be a Colorado resident... which, the moment you get a job in Colorado or buy property under your name, you become a resident. So, maybe the wait won't be as long. You'd really need to contact the Department of Revenue on this matter, and I'd recommend you do it beforehand to ensure you've got all your ducks in a row before you cross the puddle.