New pumpkin driver

Hello all

I have kept up with this thread since I left on 4/23. I was out 15 days (an additional day basically due to the Nashville flood) and drove a lot, learned a lot... went as far south as San Antonio, north to I80 in IA (saw the truck stop) and east to basically Winston-Salem NC.

My trainer... well, I was his first trainee. The guy takes himself way too seriously. Someone is going to have it out with him. It was not my job to do that. He pushed me until I reached my absolute limit several times. He picked and picked and picked at me, to the extent that I apparently took too long at times in the bathroom and whatnot. Something was wrong with everything I did, even off-duty... walk more quickly to the bathroom, or move the bobtail a foot per his preference alone then shut it back down, just because where I left it wasn't correct. You drink too much soda. Ten minutes parked ahead of a fuel isle is too much, even though I said 15 last time, and made sure we sat for 15 last time. You're going to hit that idling in 3rd gear even though it's 100 ft. away (I do NOT exaggerate). Nothing I said (even absolute fact) He was yelling SQT (skills qualification training test) questions at me after having been silent for a while. "Careful of fatigue and night driving", then we got up at 0200 for a week and ran like mad for 14 hours. They were mostly tiny, inconsequential things. Turn the mirror heat on! No, turn it off now! It's too hot in the cab! It's too cold! I know you DIDN'T steer jerkily in this high wind today, but just DON'T DO IT! Watch your tandems, even though you are! But at 79,700 through Ft. Worth and Austin at rush hour, and through the mountains for hours at 78,000, no problem. I did fine. Several times I backed using a 90 (he corrected me then, calling it a "jackknife") with one pull-up in a very crowded area... right down central, straight as an arrow... got out and looked at the blind side... tandems in different spots... no problem, good job. Man, I am a newbie. I do a few things well, most things passably well. I miss a gear now and then. I -just- curbed it on the right all of twice. I forget to turn my signal off. I rev it too high on the low side. I take longer to make sure I coupled correctly. I set up for some backs all screwy and have to start over. I err way on the side of caution, my right and left turns are a bit wide. I make myself shift 9-10-9 too much because I don't give it fuel early enough. Maybe I like the jakes too much on grades because I want to go easy on the brakes. But that's just how it is. I am inexperienced but know I have a decent feel for it. I treat everyone with mucho respect, either on the phone, radio, road, at truck stops... be nice, allow people a bad day, be safe, give 4-wheelers every inch you can, despite themselves. Okay. I can expect no more! I forget to log every stop, and had to write myself notes. This is newbie stuff. All I have to say is, dude, pick your battles. I know there was more stuff I didn't do perfectly... but come on... your expectations are unreasonable...

Now, I feel like... do I really want to do this job? I've got it, I can pass SQT and get my truck. My whole body aches from the constant tension. I am really haggard and spent and wrung out. My mind is still racing. Do I want to do it know? That 15 days wasn't hell but it sucked... really... really... badly. I like my house. I like being with my girlfriend. I like a lot of things here in St. Louis. I have a mortgage to pay... I have obligations... I left corporate IT jobs for a reason... sheesh. Don't let me scare you off... I am just trying to sort of chronicle this as well as I can, though. At the end of the day, I love driving and I like being a polite driver with a smile and trying to make peoples' days a little better. I am just that way; that's sort of what I did in my "former" career... that is satisfying to me. The minor physical discomforts associated with being an OTR driver, I can live with. The flood in Nashville, no one obviously wanted. Traffic, okay, I have the patience and attention to deal with it. My skills are decent. I am here, two months of hard work to get my XT endorsed CDL and search for a good job... I've found what seems to be a great company, their benefits are really good; comparatively, home time and the rest all compare quite favorably... yeah, 62 mph sounds really slow but eh... not so bad, esp. if you plan your route well... I am nearing the end of this whole thing... my truck is waiting for me, somewhere... but I sort of hate it at the moment...

Advice?

Thanks all for reading my little rant here... =)