Route driving

UPDATE: Hadn't posted in a while on this so I thought I'd update.

So far so good. Still really diggin' this gig. I'm one of those people that has a weird learning curve. I'm that geek that is super book smart but very little (at time it's said none) common sense. I can't help it. It's just the way I was born. I can read some material to learn, have a better and deeper understanding than the author, blow a written exam off the chart and remember it forever but ask me to figure out how to do something by just doing it trial and error and it takes me ten times longer to catch on than most. Things that are common sense knowledge to most folks just are lost on me and I have to learn that which other people understand intuitively. Over the years I've tried to develop some common sense and the little that I have is the result of dedicated effort, but it's still way under average. It's just me, and I've come to accept it. All that is to say I still have a ton to learn about this (they didn't issue me a" how to" manual or send me with a trainer - it's trial and error). Some things I HAVE learned:

1. Loaders are evil Chinese puzzle box builders and NONE of them are on my Christmas card list. Nothing will change that. No matter how many times the store owners and managers complain to the DC that they made an investment in a forklift so please palletize and shrink wrap their orders like the other vendors do, the loaders will still floor load it and it will take 10 times longer to unload than it should because I will have to get a palate from the store, then put all the pieces on the palate and tailgate it, when if they had palletized it I could have just pushed the whole order right off and been done and on my way long before I even got the first one done. Plus they don't seem to get that one little plastic band will NOT keep 10 pieces of pipe together so I can just grab and drag the whole bundle. Nope. Got to take the busted bundle and drag 'em 2 at a time and make 10 trips when a descent banding job would have taken me 1 trip to the tail with a bundle in each hand. "Why is it taking you so long to run the route"? "I don't know. I go as fast as I can. Talk to the loaders Dude. If they'd put everything on palates I'd be done in half the time. Even stores without forklifts. I got to put those on a palate then tailgate it so I don't have to make a hundred trips and then hand it down. Put the s#!+ on a palate and double band round stock and I'll be done in less than half the time."

2. Most retail people are really cool, friendly folks. It's like your Santa bringing them their goodies. They are always happy to see you - unless you are running behind (reference number 1.). Then they are like junkies late getting their fix and Dale Carnegie himself (How To Win Friends and Influence People) could not turn their frowns upside down and they don't care why. JUST GIVE ME MY s#!+. The one good thing about that is when you're running late they will get onboard and help. On time and they'll watch in amusement as you struggle to push that 3K pound palate uphill, but late and they'll jump right in and help push.

3. Law enforcement has a very poor view and will write an OTR truck a ticket in a skinny minute for making a wrong turn and getting in a spot you can't make the turn your GPS AND Google AND from the customer local directions told you. Plus they won't help you get out of the fix. BUT if you are bringing them their goodies to their local store they will not only chuckle about the fact you are jammed up in the square n the Historic downtown, but will be glad to help you by calling another officer, putting on their disco lights, stop traffic and "'mon back, you got it" you backwards to where you SHOULD have turned and smile and wave as you finally make the turn after serpentine backing back where you came in. Make sure to take off your hat and wave it with a big thank you as you pull off - like I did. LOL. Route driving challenges your maneuvering skills like nothing else I have ever done. Always wondered why you had to serpentine back on the road test for getting your CDL. "When will I ever do THIS?" Now I know.

3. Speaking of skill challenges; I have learned that "scenic route" signs in the mountains mean trucks are not supposed to be there, and I knew this from OTR and never went their after that first screw up all those years ago. The roads are incredibly twisty (left steer on the center line and right rear on the fog stripe - then the opposite - for MILES and MILES), steeply inclined (fifth gear to climb EMPTY? Really? This is gonna be fun going down and could they have put just a few more sharp bends and curves? I mean I haven't had enough of a workout with the wheel and gear shifter yet), no guard rails, poorly maintained (no the bungies that normally hold all your stuff quite nicely in the bunk are not going to hold it. Better break out load straps for your TV and cooler), only six inches of shoulder after the fog stripe and then about two feet of unimproved shoulder before a very long drop with a nasty sudden stop at the bottom that looking at it will give even the most seasoned driver vertigo. No worries there, though. You won't be looking at the view. You'll spend the whole leg focused on lane management and speed control. Plus erosion has taken it's toll, so for long stretches there is NO shoulder and invariably it's a sharp bend and to keep the outside tandem tire on blacktop you have to cheat the nose into the oncoming lane and yes there WILL be a pick up coming around the bend. Yeah. All day on roads trucks are not allowed on (for a VERY good reason) EXCEPT for local deliveries to old mining camps that are now towns and that is the only way in and out. Then, since the store you are delivering to was originally the only town general mercantile (some of my stores still say that in the name; "X's Such and Such and General Mercantile est. 18XX") you will have an amazing challenge to get positioned to unload because it just grew to concrete from it's original wood where horse and wagon delivered; BECAUSE;

4. They will not hook you to a pup for your tight spot, old pig path dirt road routes. You will invariably be in one of the 53 footers for the tight places and take a pup to the ones with 40 acres to maneuver in and all interstate to get to. Because . . .

That's jus how we ROLL in LTL route driving.

Be safe and remember . . . turn on good tunes and have fun with the challenges. If you let the s#!+ get to you . . . what's the point in doin' it?

C-'yall on the flip.