Swift does NOT do drug tests

There have been several threads recently here and elsewhere on TTR regarding Swift drug tests. Swift does not do drug tests; they're a trucking company, not a testing laboratory.

However, if you wish to have a drug test, PM me and I'll put you in touch with my pothead nephew who will be more than happy to test your drugs. And at no cost to you!

After your drug test, he will provide the results, sooner or later, that will range from, "What IS this crap!?!", to, "Gnarly, dude!". Those that are towards the gnarly end of the spectrum may require additional samples to verify the results. Your drugs that aren't herbal in origin will be rated by how long it takes them to dissolve in a toilet bowl.

Any questions? No? That will be all; carry on.

Frank

 

Hail no! Do you know what a pack of Marlboros cost these days?

On a side note , I still remember when the price of a pack of cigarettes went up to match the cost of a gallon of gas. It was 1967 and it was a quarter.

Frank