Team Werner

I am sorry everyone. I have just been exhausted. I had a horrible day today and I have decided to leave. This is just not for me. I have been crying everynight and I do believe Globetrotter is right, I have had too much on my plate. Yes, I have still been doing my on-call staffing coordinator job. What that means is that I am oncall from 5pm - 8am everyday and all day on the weekends. I confirm or cancel nurses for their shifts and I get calls from hospitals with needs for a nurse. My phone has been crazy and I have only been getting maybe 4 hours of sleep.

So, today we go to school and all morning was about logging. Very easy for me since I have read alot of the posts on here. We are then told that we will be coupling in the afternoon. I was nervous but think alright here we go! We are put into groups of 4 and our instructor shows us how to couple and uncouple. He then tells we are going to do this and to get in the truck, put on your flashers, put on your seatbelt, put in the clutch and then the brake and put it into reverse. That was our instruction and he stood down with the group watching. He said he would let us make mistakes and not correct us until later, since you learn best by making mistakes. I think good, that is how I ususally learn best, by doing and sometimes screwing up. So when it is my turn I get in the truck and find I have a very hard time getting down the fact that you put in the clutch before you put your foot on the brake. I back the truck and stop to go put up the landing gear, attach the lines etc. I get back in the truck and I am told to let the trailer hit hard and that the kingpin will lock in place. Well somehow when I do this, I put my foot on the brake before putting in the clutch and there was a huge bang! Turns out that I blew a hole in something back there! I am told it has to do with the rear differential. The truck is going to have to be towed into the shop area and is out of service.

Oh my gosh!!! The first day in the truck and this had to happen to me. I was devasted and tried to just shake it off, I was doing ok but then Jeremiah came by to comfort me and I lost it. I started crying and just couldn't stop. We had a break and then they had us a new truck to go practice on. I was crying so bad but calmed down enough to try a second time. This time I did not break anything but I still had some issues. I also had a very hard time getting the lines connected. I just couldn't get those darn things lined up and they were very difficult for me to manuever (spelling?).

I am not quitting just because of this. I was told by my instructor and several others that this was not my fault, that the truck was old and if it didn't happen to me it could have happened to someone else. I want to leave because I am just misreable. I hate this! I am not a coordinated person and there is soooo much to learn and remember. Driving a truck is a huge responsibility and I am just not up to the challenge.

Jeremiah is sad that I am going home, but he is not pushing me to stay. We talked about it and he is going to continue on. I urged him to stay because he loves it!!!! I was planning on quitting my job at the end of Feb and had already given my notice but my boss told me today that I still have my job and that he is very glad to hear that I am staying. We are planning on me going out as a rider with Jeremiah when he is done with his training, so we will still be together. My job can be done anywhere so I will be good to go. I also want to finish up my bachelor's degree and can do that while out with Jeremiah.

I am soooo tired right now and I really have to go crash. There is more that I want to share about the last few days, so I will come back and update tomorrow.

Nighty Nite.

 

And thank you for all of your encouragement. I don't want to be a quitter but I know in my heart that this is not for me. This morning I woke up feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. It took alot of talking me into even trying this by my husband and honestly I did try but I know in my gut that I am not meant to drive a truck. I don't think there is anything wrong with that and I have a HUGE admiration for all of those that tackle the job and do so with such commitment and safety.

If I would not have come up here and at least tried, then I think that I would have regretted it. Now, I know that I gave it a shot and that this isn't for me. I fully believe that God has a plan for all of us and I have been trying with all my might to against his plan for me. I am meant to be a nurse. All of my life has set me up to be a nurse. That is what I was going to college for before we decided on trucking. I have changed my major so many times and have gone back and forth to nursing numerous times and as my mother said I have got to just face the facts that that is where I am meant to be. So I guess I am going back to school again!

Jeremiah is being wonderful and is glad that I at least tried. Of course he is sad that I am leaving and he is going to miss me, but he wants me to be happy. It took alot of talking last night to convince him to stay. He kept going back and forth saying he was just going to leave, but that would just make me feel terrible because I know how much he is loving this. After alot of thought he agreed that it would be best for him to tough out being away from me and just get the school and training over with. I am so proud of him and now that I have been through this and know what it is like to drive one of those beasts, he has even more of my support and admiration.

I guess I am going to have to change my status from a student to a truckers wife! I am excited about hitting the road with him.

I was up doing some of my work stuff and that is when I cam over her to check in. I am still tired, only slept maybe 5 hours, so I am going to lay back down for a little bit. I will still update about what we did on day 2 and I will continue to let you know how it goes for Jeremiah.

Thank you all. I can't say enough how your thoughts and support have helped me along. I love all of you and I truly mean that!