The Relationship Between Squelch and RF Gain

I’m glad you asked because I had this same situation come up. Back in 2008 I had a Brockway cabover with an N14 wide block running compound turbos from a BXS Acert. As part of my pretrip each morning I would run an injector cut out test. #4 came up a little weak, so I grabbed some Milo’s sweet tea and poured in the tanks, brought it back to spec.

I didn’t have my feeler gauges or wrenches but I was running my daily overhead by feel. I’m pretty good at estimating coil bind with my fingers and was just finishing the last exhaust valve. Well, the phone rings and it’s McKesson. They’ve got a hot load of placebo pills going to Las Cruces. I said I would take it.

My cb was so efficient from a tune I paid off in less than three years that I was only running one 600 cca battery. It went out as I was monitoring Guinness record CB transmissions in McAdoo Pennsylvania. So, sure enough the truck was dead. In order to crank it, I grabbed the fan blade and gave it a good twist, but it turned so fast that it reversed and started running backwards. The exhaust valves stayed shut, and the backpressure cracked the turbine housing.

All I had was some JB Weld, some liver patè from dinner, a metal pie pan and some bailing wire. I spread the patè on the cracks, mixed the JB Weld and sealed up the largest cracks, then wrapped the whole housing with the pie pan. The bailing wire sealed it up. Did it work you ask?

Well, the new owner just put six coils on a B train and went up Monteagle at 75 in 5th gear so you tell me.

 

Was it regular JB Weld, or the JB Kwik?

 

It was JB Kwik. When McKesson gives you a load of placebos, you call the US Marshals to coordinate the run and you head out. No time to waste.

 

I remember him duckwalking across that spread axle like Marty Mcfly. He was playing some Air Supply on the mandolin. Back in the mid 90s I was hauling coils running hot shot with a Ford Ranger. You can see where I welded in the coil package. 40k was my limit on those tires.

 

Is there a spot on that trailer for your wife to shine the flashlight in case your lights go out when you're on the Grapevine?

 

Unfortunately no. I sold that outfit to SPD and they used it as a prototype for hauling windmill blades covered in hollandaise sauce. My wife had progressed to WalMart corporate and was about to be Vice President and had to call in sick. It was policy that whenever you called in, they put you on a 6 way conference call with other VP’s while you were at the doctor.

They wanted biopsies, cultures and blood draw even for a sinus infection and she was a practicing Wiccan at the time. She filed a federal lawsuit, and while it was settled out of court, lets just say I haven’t paid for Red Diamond sweet tea or Great Value cheese puffs in years.

 

My wife was wondering why I spit ice cream all over the place. She doesnt get it.

 

That's it. I'm squelching you guys out!

 

That’s fine. You just promise that if there is ever a key down in Portmeirion, you will officiate the rf gain knob positioning.

 

I can't hear you!

LA, LA, LA, lAA, LAAAHHH.