Watkins Shepard, Here I Come

I start school today... in two hours. I came down to Riverside last night and parked the mini in an undisclosed location and slept most of the night through. Did wake up at 2 am and wonder why it was so darn cold, but otherwise got through it pretty happily.

I'm having the nerves again. I used to believe I could do anything, jobwise, except crafty stuff (I have several thumbs) and numbers. Going through a divorce killed my self-confidence, so today I sit here mentally biting my nails and hoping I don't do anything stupid until at least the second day.

I've been scoping out the area, trying to figure out the shower situation. I can drive to Ontario and shower there, but I think I'm going to see what Anytime Fitness charges for a one month membership first. They're right down the road from the school and anything less than $20 a week is probably a good way to get a daily shower (as opposed to popping out $10 per shower at the T/A.)

Anyway, I'm going to go nurse my hot tea for as much free internet as I can get before school. More update later.

 

Whoa, hey, guys, back off Joe, 'k? He's tried to get the money to get me a motel and I said no... money is too tight.

I stayed in Ontario last night. I'm trying to find something else. But I can't make the two hour drive each way every day.

I wish I was one of you who could afford to go stay in a motel every night or that there was a decent school near me. There is ONE school in my entire county and it was pre-pay cash only.

Again, please don't get onto Joe. It's not his fault/doing and, although I appreciate the concern, please address it to me, not him.

I'm sorry for worrying everyone.

 

Okay, so here's my update on yesterday. I got to class a half hour early (so did one other student) and we didn't start until nearly 9 am (an hour late). There were three of us in the class and one guy who is apparently returning.

We started off reading through each of the actual test questions (there are three sets of 50 questions that you could end up with), then taking a practice test. I zipped through those, missing exactly 0 and finishing a good 15 minutes ahead of the other students. However, as I told the teacher, I could have known absolutely nothing about the topic and I still would have finished that fast. It's just how I take tests.

We have a pretty big stack of books... here I thought I could just study the DMV Commercial Driver Handbook and pass. Pre-reading it did help, but... well, that was before we started working on the pre-trip.

First we watched a video (interrupted by a paramedic helicopter landing in the parking lot, apparently just for kicks). What should eventually be a 15-minute pre-trip took 45 minutes on video to explain.

After lunch, we started on the memorization. My dad was pretty proactive about his four girls and cars, so I have a basic understanding of the parts of a car but... wow. Just... wow. I knew less than I thought I did... and more than any of the other (male) students in class.

Memorizing the front hood. Okay, all of these parts are pretty familiar. Lights, hood, grill... got it.

Memorizing the right side engine... still pretty good. There's a certain almost poetry to some of it, a repetition that helps. I get it pretty well memorized by the third go-round.

Memorizing the left side engine... my brain has fallen and refuses to get up. Really, what are all the parts to the steering linkage and why do we have to learn all these power steering bits? I finally get down most of it, but am still struggling with the steering linkage when class ends.

The teacher talks to me for a while, finds out where I'm staying and-- like many on the board-- gets pretty protective of me. He talks to a lady he knows who may have a place I can stay, although there is no talk about how much it might cost. I leave to go meet Lady K and Klingon and end up meeting two other Central drivers and two people Lady K knows from Facebook. I am terrible with names and pushing through shyness to be friendly (although Lady K is one of those people you end up feeling like you've known all your life in about ten minutes and I love the interaction between her and Klingon).

Dinner is over and I know I need to study more, but I need to decompress, too, so I walk over to Kmart and get some work gloves. Then I go to McDonalds and start studying our assigned homework, only stopping to talk to my kids. My #3 son is still sick and his dad hasn't taken him to the doctor yet. Once again the wisdom of the judicial system in giving a man with the parental ability of a distracted mad scientist (without the genius bit) primary custody of my children knocks me on my backside.

After I talk to the kids, I have a good old-fashioned breakdown. I still have two full chapters to do of homework. I haven't reviewed what we've already done. Everyone is worrying about where I'm staying and I have no other options for where to stay. I really want to quit but settle for crying.

Joe called and talked to me for a while, then I went into Dennys and studied some more. I'm still behind, so I'm going to study as soon as I catch up here on the forums. But as much as I think I will enjoy being a truck driver, I'm already overwhelmed with just the process of getting there. Giving up... well, it's still lurking in the back of my mind. Not because I can't do it, but because I can't do it while dealing with all the judging for how I have to do it.

One last thing: I figured out a way to remember the steering linkage. I drew (poorly) pictures for each part. The Gear Shaft is a gear with a down arrow in the shaft portion, which leads into a Pit(tman) with an Arm attached that's holding Drag(ging) Link(s). Then there's a Steering (Wheel) with an Arm, a Tie (Rod) Arm, a second Tie (Rod), a Castle (Nuts) and (Cotter) Pins. For those of you who had no trouble with this: *raspberries*. For those who might have struggled with it, maybe this will help.

Anyway, I'm off to study now. If I have time, I'll think more about whether I shouldn't just go back to my "safe" desk job.

Can't cry in Starbucks... :smt010

 

By the way, for those of you who cared enough to worry about me, please don't think you offended me or that I'm upset with you. Just another situation I can't seem to fix in a really long two years. Enough of that and little things can get you down pretty easily. Sorry if it came across any other way.