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Werner Trainer Craps Himself

Discussion in 'Report A BAD Trucking Company Here' started by later_dude, Mar 22, 2008.

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Royal Bum Bobtail Member

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If all that's true I feel for you and while I know it had to suck,in retrospect ya gotta admit it's funny. BTW, why didn't you contact your SDM, that's what they are there for?

Royal Bum, Apr 26, 2008

#101
Spaceshrimp Bobtail Member

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later_dude said: ↑

I am Sooooo stupid! While in school I got to looking at all of those nice posters with pictures of new rigs promising "Newest eqipment" and showing people studying at computer terminals (computer based training) and thought to myself "This company has got it together" .

WHAT A JOKE!!!
DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!!

Recriuters are ruthless liers. I have an excellent work history (until now) and NO accidents or tickets and 400,000 old safe driving commercial miles. 36 cents a mile is the only reason I picked
this P.O.S. company over the other 7 (thats right SEVEN) companys that pre-approved me. Now that I am in this satan based rip-off, the other companys want NOTHING to do with me. I am now apearently tainted with the filth and stench of Werner.

At orientatation the first thing the manager said is this: "I don't know what the recruiters told you men, but you will be making .26 cents a mile
you WONT get a new truck of your choice, you WONT get to chose your color and your name WONT be on the door like the recruiters told you."

How did HE know?

I looked around the room and took a quick inventory of the other drivers.
I'm very sorry, but I have never been in the same room with so many one-toothed, greasy haired ,unwashed, stinky, scrape the bottom of the barrell looser- looking men in my whole life. I take it back. The same bunch would fit right in at the homeless mission. I am sorry. it's the truth.

Turns out they ALL had serious issues. They WERE bottom of the barrell.

The 500 pounder with greasy hair who kept picking his nose and rolling bugers in his fingers was fired from Swift for running over a fire hydrant with his trailer. "I was lost. You should see how small those streets are" . He was starting out at .38 cpm apearantly because he had experience in wrecking things. This guy had an endless supply of bugers. I personally counted him roll and flick five of them before I asked to be seated somewhere else in the computer lab. No lie.

The skinny one with greased back hair, Elvis sideburns, pencil thin mustach and an ever present toothpick for his one tooth (you can't make this stuff up) was fired from the bowling alley and banned for life for stealing Earl Anthony's personal bowling ball. He also was glad Werner overlooked a semi-recent drunk driving which of course was a set-up because he was doing the police chief's daughter.

The psyco Iraq war vet (sans front teeth) who "saw alot of dead bodys and body parts" I avoided. After telling 3 lame lies in a row, all of which were stupid and obvious lies that didnt come close to lining up with reality, he paused and staired at you waiting for you to call him a lier so he could kill you. I decided he wasnt safe to converse with. He was a trainer at Swift and Im guessing he was fired for killing a student although I dont know for sure. He claimed to be hired at "over .50 cpm" presumably
for his skills in advanced interpersonal relationships.

A thin balding early 50ish man with glasses sat counting and recounting his pills. He had about seven or eight bottles of perscription meds in front of him and was quite concerned about his recent count. "If I get this wrong I could go into a coma and die, he explained" . OK Buddy. No problem! Here are the keys and here is your 80,000 pound truck. Be safe!

All of this on my first day! I should have followed my instincts and left
immediatly but I resolved to "stick it out" . What a waste of time and money.

All of my trainers have been unqualified nitwits. One was a big 2 million miler that CONSTANTLY tailgated and screamed at cars. He too was a sociopath and pathological lier to boot. This is proof of my old theory that you have you can be really lucky and not safe at all to get a safe driving award. Thats a whole seperate chapter that I could tell if I had to. The big 2 million miler had serious hygene issues that are so gross I wont even go into. I had to put vics vapor rub under my nose to keep from throwing up. He was so fat that it was too hard to walk to the showers so we just skipped that waste of time.

Ok. I will go in to it.

I could tell which position he was sleeping in from the blast of odor that emmenated from the bottom bunk. if his arms were up, you would be rocked with a blast of sour viniger/rotten sharp cheddar cheese from his arm pits. If he was on his back I was treated to the lovely smell of bacteria that festers in oral cavities that go unbrushed for god knows how long. I *NEVER * repeat N E V E R saw him brush his teeth. The best was, if god forbid, he put a knee up while sleeping on his stomach. Then you get the mother of all odors. Sweaty butt juice that I am convinced harbored not only bacteria and fungus but perhaps even disease straight from the pits of hell. He was so fat that I am guessing that his hands could not reach his butt to wash it. His ### was so nasty that I am ashamed to say that I caught somthing from his sweaty butt juice while sitting in the same seat. I am no doctor but I am guessing that it was some kind of fungus that attacked the crack of my butt and gave me raw skin like a diaper rash. I cured it by spraying my butt with lysoll against the instructions on the label. I also purchaced a folding seat to seperate my now healing butt from his nasty butt juice infested seat.

I tried everything to keep the stench from coming up from the bottom bunk. I tried to stuff socks and clothing in the crack between the bottom
and top bunk. I stuffed my jacket in the space between the wall and your head too but the smell did not need the wind from the ventalation to waft up to the top.

Every morning at around 4:00 am he would start farting. Not just little innocent farts either. Oh no! It would start out with just a little rasp. But after just a little while it was a full symphony of putrid rotting intestinal
matter culminating with him ######## his pants before 5:30.

So after I figured out that he was ######## himself I would go outside in the freezing snow or whatever was outside at 4:30am just to escape.

I can prove all of this and will name names if anyone accuses me of lieing.

Werner sucks and after I get my big 500.00 bonus for putting up with this "training" I am so outta here.
Click to expand...

I went thru almost same with Werner, and i know this is not a made up story. Very well written too.

I believe this should be printed out, and should be mendatory for all CDL schools to provide to those who are about to invest 3K $ for this job. B4 they do it!

Spaceshrimp, Apr 26, 2008

#102

later_dude Thanks this.
13760 Bobtail Member

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That was one very funny story. And whats sad is that I am sure you are telling the truth. I heard that there may be a new TV show about truck driving being developed. You should contact them and become a writer. That story on TV would be a hit

13760, May 1, 2008

#103

later_dude Thanks this.
goin2fast10 Medium Load Member

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AfterShock said: ↑

Before you get started, would you please tell me what "idiocracy" means?
I looked it up in my dictionary, but it wasn't in there. I did find 'idiopathic' though -- and 'idiocies'. Would either of those words work for you?Saved by the bell? No kiddin'?
Ol' "Jiggletooth" and Ol' Yeller -- one in the same? CRST?!!!
You mean the Big truck truckin' company with the notorious reputation for bad trainers?
Hmmmmmmm ------- Imagine that.
What were they thinkin'? Ooooo!
You're mean. I think that's your opinion. And when those whom you reported that to got through laughing, you'd be labeled a whistle blower.
How do you feel about New York City as a steady diet? And/Or, sitting for days in Barstow in the summertime, waiting for your next load?Better get DNA samples of that "physical evidence". That trainer just might claim it's YOUR'S.
CRST seems to have trouble promoting trainers -- while trainees are a dime a dozen. Whom do you reckon CRST would side with?
Just a thought I think I thunk.
All depends on where you were when that imaginary "deer ran out in front" of you. Ain't too many deer in big cities these daze. They might require YOU to take a pee TEST, just to be sure you weren't in a fog.
BTW, aren't you afraid your nose would grow if you lied? Shux!
Folks have been peeing for thousands of years. Why do I get the feeling YOU weren't around in the 1960's? Not to mention the impression you just left on those Big truck truck drivers who were gittin' 'er done -- back in the day.
Best watch your foot when your mouth is running.WoW!
That's what I say --- only, I say it louder. Uhhhhh --- not to burst your bubble, but THAT'S illegal. Not to mention the ramifications, should you be caught doing that. YOU could wind up a registered sex offender.
It's twue!
It's twue! YOUR bedroom?!!!
HeY!
It's the TRAINER'S Big truck -- NOT your's. And the bedroom goes with the Big truck. Of course, that couldn't be due to a lack of being able to follow directions, could it? Got WHAT "in"? Your foot? Perhaps he was afraid you'd hit him?Buckle up, buttercup. Just wait 'till you've driven Big trucks for a few years. You ain't seen NUTHIN' yet.
No. What? WoAH!
I thought you told us you went with CRST?
Whatdja 'spect? Or, are you one of those newBees who didn't research the company BEFORE you signed the dotted line?
Unless they were the only company that would hire you -- YOU picked CRST!
You know, the company with one of the worst reputations for NOT having good trainers.
Here's YOUR sign ---> here. Say WhAT?! CRST Big trucks?!
$100,000?!!
And $50,000 trailers?!
Get real!Higher than what? Reality?
A Jack in the Box with Big truck truck parkin'?! Can you remember how to get there? That's valuable information to a hungry trucker. You, a trainee -- make a mistake? Surely you jest.
I think I'm beginning to get the bigger picture here. I know --- sounds more like a fabricated, bad dream. He didn''t really have to do his job if you were doing it for him. You did say that you were basically training yourself, didn't you?
What did you do wrong? Don't ask ME!
I'm not your trainer. Amazing!
Another trainee with vast knowledge. WhAM! Oooopps!
Well, you know at least one.Because, IF, someday, you manage to "tap' the wrong, or right, trailer -- you just might meet one of those 1960's era "filthy ape" truckers "who never bathed", and they'll introduce you to Mr. Fist.I hear Mountain Dew has more caffeine than coffee.Now I'm gettin' confused here -- which ain't at all supernatural, but,............................
In a previous post, didn't you say, "He literally was tossed into the trainer program the day after orientation ended ?
Are you telling us that "orientation" at CRST lasts for 6 months?
Man-0-MaN!
Their Big trucks really ARE slow. Fret not, you're not the only one. ME?!
"Irritated"?

NaW -- not in the least.
Are you?
BTW, a CDL-A does not a "professional" make. At best, you'd be a newBee rookie. I think you over estimate the, .... uhhhh,..... "piece of equipment's" value -- and under estimate the overall length of same. You mighta missed that while you were basically training yourself.
Don't worry though -- that happens to the best, too. Well now, seeing as how you basically trained yourself, where's the beef? How could it possibly have been any better than that? Yeah, but you did. I'm sorry.
What were you saying?You don't say!
Why doesn't that surprise me?
Know what else?
It wouldn't surprise me either, if you gave yourself a standing ovation.

Click to expand...

I heard a statement recently regarding sarcasm as being funny...but you ain't.

The guy was posting what sounded like pretty legitimate gripes...just because you don't think so doesn't make your sarcasm funny.

And I can attest to over bearing trainers...one of which you would probably be....since it seems you have an answer for everything...

But since you are a "board supporter" you do have privledges... LOL!!!

Some of your responses are spot on, in fact a lot of them are....but not this one.

goin2fast10, May 2, 2008

#104
AfterShock Road Train Member

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goin2fast10 said: ↑

I heard a statement recently regarding sarcasm as being funny...but you ain't.
Click to expand...

Thanx for the progress report. I always appreciate constructive criticism.

Would it surprise you to know I'm not trying to be "funny"?

The guy was posting what sounded like pretty legitimate gripes...
Click to expand...

Who is "The guy"?

just because you don't think so doesn't make your sarcasm funny.
Click to expand...

What DO I think, in your opinion?
And what IS my "sarcasm"?
Inquiring minds want to know.

And I can attest to over bearing trainers...one of which you would probably be....
Click to expand...

You'd be the only one to have said that.
Truth be known, if you're interested, I was known as the company's 'Mellowest Trainer'. Can you believe that?

since it seems you have an answer for everything...
Click to expand...

I have no answer for that.

But since you are a "board supporter" you do have privledges... LOL!!!
Click to expand...

"LOL" is right. If you'd been paying attention, you'da noticed that I had an infraction recently. Does that sound to you like I have "privleges"?

Some of your responses are spot on, in fact a lot of them are....but not this one.
Click to expand...

Well, ............ you know what they say,..........

Responses can be spot on some of the time,
but they probably won't be spot on all of the time.
Or sumthin' like that.
But,..................
I can live with that.

And thanx to the fine folks, such as yourself, who point out my mistakes.

Without y'all, I wouldn't be what I am today, ---- and probably tomorrow.
Ya reckon.

AfterShock, May 2, 2008

#105

NukedNative Thanks this.
vols021 Light Load Member

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Is "The Guy" a pronoun?

vols021, May 2, 2008

#106
AfterShock Road Train Member

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vols021 said: ↑

Is "The Guy" a pronoun?
Click to expand...

Could be, Vols.
But I was under the impression "The Guy" might be the subject.

BTW, how long must one be a noun before advancing up to PROnoun?

AfterShock, May 3, 2008

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vols021 Light Load Member

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AfterShock said: ↑

BTW, how long must one be a noun before advancing up to PROnoun?
Click to expand...

6 to 8 weeks with a trainer.

vols021, May 3, 2008

#108
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vols021 said: ↑

6 to 8 weeks with a trainer.
Click to expand...

Would that be considered a "crash course"?

AfterShock, May 3, 2008

#109
thestoryteller Medium Load Member

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LeadfootSlider said: ↑

Boy aren't you going to be surprised! It's $500.00 before taxes. The bonus is taxed at a higher rate than your regular wages. I believe Uncle Sam taxes bonuses at around 48%.
Click to expand...

I do get the point you are trying to make.....

(And I have enjoyed reading the banter)

However, "Uncle Sam" does not "tax" anything at a set rate.... 48% or otherwise......

The IRS may keep 48% of that bonus when it is original paid, but what the boy ends up paying, or keeping, will depend on his tax situation.

Anyone paying over 10% taxes to uncle sam at the end of the year needs to get an accountant and learn the tax laws!

Personally I'd have a fit if I had to pay 5%....... but I like to KEEP my money

thestoryteller, May 3, 2008

#110

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