Where is everyone #5

That's gotta be special for @stwik. Course all he'll see is the fries.

 

Really nice.
Fries.

 

Had a life changing event happen on a cruise.

Was 21, on the PD, typical young guy trying to be tough. Stayed in Houston for a few days and my friends and I got on a tour bus to Galveston to catch our ship. While on the bus, at the port, waiting to get off the bus, I saw her. Everyone saw her. 6ft tall of blonde perfection, with leg that ran from Texas to Northern Europe. She was so hot, even the women on the bus were dragging their tongues. Behind her walked this guy that looked as if he were 6’7-6’8 , 300+lbs shredded.

“Uhoh...I might take him once head on, but in a bum rush, he’d get me.”

So, I decided to steer clear. They called her the sun goddess. She was so hot that it seemed as if the sun rose just for her. You could tell when she was walking through the crowds, because there was always a hush that would come over the crowd.
Well, the last night on the ship, the sun goddess was sitting at the bar in the dance club with Hercules. I decided that if Herc and I were to fight, tonight’s the night. Herc left to go to the restroom and I followed him out into the hall.

Hey friend, would you mind if I took a picture with your girlfriend?

“She’s not my girlfriend, we’re just friends.”

(OMG, Hercules is gay! Why did I not see it before?)

So, I went back into the disco, and walked up to the hottest woman on planet earth and struck up a conversation. You remember the old disposable Kodak cameras? I took pictures because no one I knew would ever believe this one “A little to the left! No teeth! That’s it![snap]”
She was a Norwegian flight attendant. She couldn’t figure out why none of the guys on the ship wanted to play.

When I got home, it was like Moses after the burning bush. Every other conversation with any other girl was lame. It’s funny, because the girls I used to try to impress were no longer impressive, and they knew it. They became interested in me. It’s funny how that works...if you’re interested, they aren’t, but if you aren’t even the slightest bit interested, they will follow you around like a puppy.

 

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Tell that to a man with syphilis.

 

Last one I’m going ta bed!

 

Did they score again?

 

No, but that one was too good to waste

 

Needs more bones. Plenty of skin and meat there. Pare 'em down and throw two dozen more skeletons in the mix and the herd could triple easy.

 

Bread anyone?