The half nekkid Spider Dance....

Discussion in 'Road Stories' started by RoadToad69, Oct 25, 2009.

  1. RoadToad69

    RoadToad69 Mistress of Mayhem

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    Sep 20, 2007
    BFE, TX
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    Flash back to yesterday...4:00 a.m.:
    I go to the Wal-Mart DC to deliver. I drop my trailer in the door, disconnect, park in the bobtail parking and take my paperwork inside. Once I check in I go back to my truck and crawl back in bed.

    Sometime later (around 5:50 a.m.) they call me to let me know they are finished.....this is where all h*ll breaks loose....

    I had changed back into my shorts to go back to bed...so to go back inside I had to change back into my pants. I get my pants halfway on when this large black HAIRY SCARY spider shoots out of them and up my left leg.

    Now....for three years I worked in the Texas prison system...facing down murderers, rapists, thieves, etc. So the rational part of my brain is saying "Come on..get real...it's just a little ole spider bug..." HOWEVER...the "OMG!! IT'S A HUGE HAIRY BLACK SPIDER!!!" part of my brain which apparently, in certain specific situations, holds an enormous amount of veto power over every mental faculty I possess, is freaking out and screaming like a schoolgirl.

    My pants fly off at speeds previously unknown to mankind and I'm now in my undies...flailing and crashing wildly around the cab of my truck...shrieking like a banshee and beating the cr*p out of myself....in full view of about 8 MALE truck drivers who are all wondering if they should try to offer assistance or run like h*ll.

    It was ALL I could do...once I regained some semblance of sanity...to walk inside, face those drivers, and collect my paperwork. Needless to say I left there at warp ten....I could not get out of there fast enough. The poor yard jockey...he's probably going to need therapy and there are, likely, parts of his brain he will NEVER get back....

    SO........

    I am in the process of nuking the heck out of my truck with Raid bug bombs. I promise there will be NOTHING left alive in that truck when I am finished. You do NOT cause me to dance half naked in front of strange men, embarrassing the life out of myself....and live to tell the tale.


    RT
     
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  3. Les2

    Les2 Road Train Member

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    Jul 25, 2008
    kicked back in my lazyboy...
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    Atleast you stayed in the truck, I would've bailed out!...:biggrin_2554::biggrin_25523:
     
  4. simplyred1962

    simplyred1962 Betty Boop, One Bodacious Babe!!!

    Oh, my gosh!! I am laughing so hard, I have tears!! Thanks for the belly-laugh!!

    **Now THAT'S entertainment!!!**

    Judi Kay
     
  5. Peanut Butter

    Peanut Butter Road Train Member

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    Nov 24, 2007
    PO Dunk Idaho
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    Dang i would have freaked out just as much, man i hate spiders, i dont care how big or small they are they can have one heck of a bite, shivers at the thought of what you went thru. but reading it was pretty funny tho,
     
  6. Panhandle flash

    Panhandle flash Road Train Member

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    Jul 18, 2008
    Oklahoma City
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    Gotta love the way you tell a story. Laughing so hard my sides hurt. Thank you so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. David0101

    David0101 Light Load Member

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    Sep 30, 2009
    Las Cruces NM
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    I am familiar with the spider dance.....:biggrin_25526:
     
  8. Peanut Butter

    Peanut Butter Road Train Member

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    Nov 24, 2007
    PO Dunk Idaho
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    I have to admit i know the dance as well, i put my pants on one morning here at home and something was crawling on my leg, pants came off a lot faster then they went on, needles to say the spider was smooshed. Oh and the spider dance makes some good noise on a hardwood floor lol.
     
  9. pcfreak

    pcfreak Heavy Load Member

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    Apr 22, 2007
    Alberta, Canada
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    I'd have paid money to see that! :biggrin_2559:
     
  10. RoadWarrior1775

    RoadWarrior1775 Bobtail Member

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    11
    Dec 10, 2009
    Fredericksburg, VA
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    Be glad you was not turning and burning when that spider came out to play footsies with you.
     
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