The thing most truckers take for granted.....

Discussion in 'Road Stories' started by xXDarthVaderXx, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. xXDarthVaderXx

    xXDarthVaderXx Light Load Member

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    May 17, 2007
    Atlanta, Georgia
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    Here's my funny story from the road. Its not as funny as LuckyLady7, but it was funny to me. I guess you just had to be there.
    I was on the road one day coming out of Wisconsin. My goal for the day was to clear the state of Minnesota. It was night time. After a while I began to get tired, too tired to keep pushing it, and plus if I were to drive any longer, I'd be beyond legal. Way beyond, to where I couldn't "fix" my logs. So I decided to call it a night. I pulled into a truckstop. I didn't do my logs that night because I was whipped.
    The next morning I started on my log book. I really didn't know where I was. Was I still in Minnesota or did I make it into N. Dakota? I also didn't know the name of the city so I can record it on my logs.
    I started looking for someone to ask. I can see in my passenger mirror a driver coming up on my right side getting ready to get into his truck, parked on my right.
    I get out of my truck to ask him. This guy was a ham sandwich away from an obesity clinic. He was tremendous. He had to be at least 500-600 lbs no joke! He was about my height, between 6'0-6'1. At this point he about to get into his truck. I am at his back. I didn't want to say anything because he didn't know I was there. I didn't want to startle him. It took this man at least 5 mins to get in his rig! He was pulling, grunting, farted 3 times, yelling curse words, in order to get in this truck. This whole time he had a bag of doughnuts in his hand. He cant really get a good grip on his handle because of the doughnuts. He almost fell backwards and I jumped out the way real quick. He's starting to get frustrated so he hurls his bag of doughnuts into his cab. He then yanks the hell out of his rig and launches himself up to the second step, he now grabs the steering wheel and lodges himself into his seat.
    I can almost hear his air suspension adjusting on his truck. I am pretty sure it did but I am not 100% positive. I happen to look to the side and a few drivers were laughing their butts off in their rigs.
    I swear to you people, this man was gasping for air! He was sweating, breathing all hard almost like hes having a heart attack. Now he sees that I am standing there. I ask him, "what city and state am I in"?
    He takes about 3 seconds to answer, because he's still sucking in air, then he says with a rush of bad breath "Clearwater Minn, Clearwater Minn". I thanked him and went back to my rig trying not to laugh. When I got into my truck I looked over at him again. He found his bag of doughnuts and began murdering them! I guess he had to build his glucose levels back up to normal.
    I was disappointed that I didn't get as far as I wanted to for that day. But I got to my stop safely and on time. The moral of the story is: Don't take for granted getting in your truck. You may hop in and go, but for this cat it was an aerobic workout.
     
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  3. Etosha

    Etosha World Citizen

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    Aug 19, 2007
    Edmonton, AB
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    And we wonder why Cabovers disappeared? Can you imagine that scenario with a COE?
     
  4. Colotow

    Colotow Bobtail Member

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    Dec 22, 2007
    CSC Scania, Iraq
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    sad but true. kbr had to start bringing a tractor to the houston processing center, and have prospective drivers proove they could put on the vest and helmet, and then timed them trying to climb into the cab. what was scary was how many FLUNKED the test, and they were trying to get jobs DRIVING IN IRAQ!!!
     
  5. STL_FTE

    STL_FTE Bobtail Member

    wow wish we could all be skinny and chizeled out like you guys!! just becasue someone is overweight does not mean they cant drive a truck!
     
  6. xXDarthVaderXx

    xXDarthVaderXx Light Load Member

    125
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    May 17, 2007
    Atlanta, Georgia
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    Now I never attacked the mans driving ability. He probably could drive the wheels off his truck! I was simply stating a funny experience that happened to me on the road. I hope I did not offend you.
    But since you are not the spokesman for the BIG DAWG's.
    Why did that trucker have a real deep crease in his stomach by his belly button?
    Oh, I just figured it out. Thats were his steering wheel goes!
     
  7. xXDarthVaderXx

    xXDarthVaderXx Light Load Member

    125
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    May 17, 2007
    Atlanta, Georgia
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    You weren't in Clearwater Minnisota in August were you? Maybe drive a black Pete longnose? Just wondering. Dont get offended boss. I am sure you got a few jokes that may offend a few folk. It was a true experience. I didnt make it up.
     
  8. qcommkiller

    qcommkiller Light Load Member

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    Dec 1, 2006
    Jefferson City, MO
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    First off, let me state that I am not thin as I once was, I am a size 18 now instead of the size 6 I usta be before driving a truck, but I'm not oversensitive about my weight. I am what I am. With that being said...

    That was the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time. I could almost see the whole thing in my head. Hope you weren't standing too close when the guy cut the cheese. Do me a favor though, if you happen to see a blue CCC truck, with a short chubby girl having a hard time climbin in, look the other way. :biggrin_25525:
     
  9. notarps4me

    notarps4me Road Train Member

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    Jan 1, 2007
    NASA HQ
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    Years ago when burlington was still in buisness. They had blue COE's they had a driver that was a big ole boy. Shaved his head. Had to weigh 300-400 lbs. I always wondered how he got up in there?:biggrin_2554:
     
  10. xXDarthVaderXx

    xXDarthVaderXx Light Load Member

    125
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    May 17, 2007
    Atlanta, Georgia
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    No, I didn't smell anything. I am sure being outside helps. He did need to check his draws though, it was 3 mean wet ones!
    :biggrin_2556:
     
  11. qcommkiller

    qcommkiller Light Load Member

    77
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    Dec 1, 2006
    Jefferson City, MO
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    Aw the heck with checkin em, after all THAT he'd need to skip straight to burning em!!!:biggrin_2559:
     
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