The thing most truckers take for granted.....

379 Peterbilt · Feb 5, 2008

'Vader, that was one of the funniest stories I've read in quite some time. LMAO

Brickman · Feb 6, 2008

That is funny. I've seen one or two that were waddling like a duck across the lot. When they put the first foot on the step and added some weight the truck VISIBLY leaned real bad to that side.

I've had 2 drivers tell me they personally witnessed a guy pull his grab handle on the side of the door out by the roots trying to get his lard butt into the rig.

HOW IN THE HELL DO THESE GUYS PASS A DOT PHYSICAL?

qcommkiller · Feb 6, 2008

Brickman said: ↑

That is funny. I've seen one or two that were waddling like a duck across the lot. When they put the first foot on the step and added some weight the truck VISIBLY leaned real bad to that side.

I've had 2 drivers tell me they personally witnessed a guy pull his grab handle on the side of the door out by the roots trying to get his lard butt into the rig.

HOW IN THE HELL DO THESE GUYS PASS A DOT PHYSICAL?
Click to expand...

I know the "bend down and touch the floor" thing was hard for me, and I wasn't that big then, how someone like that does it, I GOTTA SEE. Maybe even sell tickets.

LuckyLady7 · Feb 8, 2008

xXDarthVaderXx said: ↑

Here's my funny story from the road. Its not as funny as LuckyLady7, but it was funny to me. I guess you just had to be there.
I was on the road one day coming out of Wisconsin. My goal for the day was to clear the state of Minnesota. It was night time. After a while I began to get tired, too tired to keep pushing it, and plus if I were to drive any longer, I'd be beyond legal. Way beyond, to where I couldn't "fix" my logs. So I decided to call it a night. I pulled into a truckstop. I didn't do my logs that night because I was whipped.
The next morning I started on my log book. I really didn't know where I was. Was I still in Minnesota or did I make it into N. Dakota? I also didn't know the name of the city so I can record it on my logs.
I started looking for someone to ask. I can see in my passenger mirror a driver coming up on my right side getting ready to get into his truck, parked on my right.
I get out of my truck to ask him. This guy was a ham sandwich away from an obesity clinic. He was tremendous. He had to be at least 500-600 lbs no joke! He was about my height, between 6'0-6'1. At this point he about to get into his truck. I am at his back. I didn't want to say anything because he didn't know I was there. I didn't want to startle him. It took this man at least 5 mins to get in his rig! He was pulling, grunting, farted 3 times, yelling curse words, in order to get in this truck. This whole time he had a bag of doughnuts in his hand. He cant really get a good grip on his handle because of the doughnuts. He almost fell backwards and I jumped out the way real quick. He's starting to get frustrated so he hurls his bag of doughnuts into his cab. He then yanks the hell out of his rig and launches himself up to the second step, he now grabs the steering wheel and lodges himself into his seat.
I can almost hear his air suspension adjusting on his truck. I am pretty sure it did but I am not 100% positive. I happen to look to the side and a few drivers were laughing their butts off in their rigs.
I swear to you people, this man was gasping for air! He was sweating, breathing all hard almost like hes having a heart attack. Now he sees that I am standing there. I ask him, "what city and state am I in"?
He takes about 3 seconds to answer, because he's still sucking in air, then he says with a rush of bad breath "Clearwater Minn, Clearwater Minn". I thanked him and went back to my rig trying not to laugh. When I got into my truck I looked over at him again. He found his bag of doughnuts and began murdering them! I guess he had to build his glucose levels back up to normal.
I was disappointed that I didn't get as far as I wanted to for that day. But I got to my stop safely and on time. The moral of the story is: Don't take for granted getting in your truck. You may hop in and go, but for this cat it was an aerobic workout.

Well, atleast he wasn't naked or sitting in the sink....it was great and I can imagine seeing him....I haven't got anything against "large" people but sometimes they appear so out of contact that they get tired of themselves..I have seen so many funny things otr.....some are better than the "woman in the sink" thing...
Click to expand...

JTode · Mar 10, 2008

Awkwardness of any kind, but especially extreme awkwardness, is funny, it's true. But one thing you might want to keep in mind is that if this story you told is 100% true, donuts and all, what you've got there is a guy with a death wish.

Ask yourself, would you have laughed as hard if the guy had decided to take the short route and blow his own brains out rather than make that difficult climb? Essentially, what you witnessed was a slower version of that.

Just something to consider.

ETA: GAH, enough with the sink lizard ######! :>

xXDarthVaderXx · Mar 11, 2008

JTode said: ↑

Awkwardness of any kind, but especially extreme awkwardness, is funny, it's true. But one thing you might want to keep in mind is that if this story you told is 100% true, donuts and all, what you've got there is a guy with a death wish.

Ask yourself, would you have laughed as hard if the guy had decided to take the short route and blow his own brains out rather than make that difficult climb? Essentially, what you witnessed was a slower version of that.

Just something to consider.

ETA: GAH, enough with the sink lizard ######! :>
Click to expand...

100% True! No embellishments at all. In fact, I left a few things out to keep the experience short.
I didn't mention how his pants were falling down and his suspenders were severely stretched out, and were unemployed. Those things had no stretch left. I didn't mention this guy was pouring down sweating, in about 60 degrees. He was actually sweating BEFORE he attempted to get into the truck. I didn't mention on how this guys shoes looked like they got ran over by every truck in the state.
There is one thing I wish I would have seen. HIM GET OUT OF THE TRUCK!!!! WHOA NELLY!!!!

JTode · Mar 12, 2008

Well, that's great! You know what's really gonna be funny? When he has a cardiac or goes hypoglycemic (cause there's no way he's not diabetic) at 65mph and plows into whoever has the misfortune of being next to or in front of him. Hopefully it's another truck, so it only ends up with one dead guy and two wrecked rigs, instead of a his rig, a car and a family.

TrooperRat · Mar 15, 2008

I saw a guy once come into a 76 Truckstop to sit down and have a meal at the restaurant. I was already eating something, as I watched this man attempt to sit down at the booth.
First, if you ever saw Willy Wonka - remember the girl that turned into a giant blueberry? Basically, this guy's body looked like that without the blue, of course - at LEAST 400 pounds.

I mean, it's pretty much impossible not to stare at a person who is standing there, trying to force his blubber around the contours of the table - and above and below it - so he can sit down. It was in a crowded restaurant, the place got pretty quiet for a few minutes.

He apparently was oblivious to everyone watching him, he was busily forcing his blubber into all the right places so he could get in there. This didn't last long. He was pushing so hard, the screws that hold the table against the wall came stripping out, the entire table moved forward - and he sat down with ease! The whole table was moved so far forward, that it was shoved up against his poor friend - who was sitting on the other side. When the screws popped out, well, there was a lot of chuckling going on in that restaurant.

LuckyLady7 · Mar 15, 2008

JTode said: ↑

Awkwardness of any kind, but especially extreme awkwardness, is funny, it's true. But one thing you might want to keep in mind is that if this story you told is 100% true, donuts and all, what you've got there is a guy with a death wish.

Ask yourself, would you have laughed as hard if the guy had decided to take the short route and blow his own brains out rather than make that difficult climb? Essentially, what you witnessed was a slower version of that.

Just something to consider.

ETA: GAH, enough with the sink lizard ######! :>
Click to expand...

WELL, IF YOU GET TRED OF HEARING ME TALK ABOUT HER THEN JUST DON'T READ IT...ITS THAT EASY. GAH...........

JTode · Mar 16, 2008

LuckyLady7 said: ↑

WELL, IF YOU GET TRED OF HEARING ME TALK ABOUT HER THEN JUST DON'T READ IT...ITS THAT EASY. GAH...........
Click to expand...

C'mon now, it's not that easy. You don't see words like "sink" sneaking up on you until they've lodged themselves in your retina... :>

Log in or Sign up

Forums

Find Trucking Jobs

The thing most truckers take for granted.....

379 Peterbilt Medium Load Member

Trucking Jobs in 30 seconds

Wait, employers can't reach you!

Brickman Trucker Forum STAFF Staff Member

qcommkiller Light Load Member

LuckyLady7 <strong>Good Luck Charm</strong>

JTode Bobtail Member

xXDarthVaderXx Light Load Member

JTode Bobtail Member

TrooperRat Medium Load Member

LuckyLady7 <strong>Good Luck Charm</strong>

JTode Bobtail Member

Trucking Jobs in 30 seconds

Wait, employers can't reach you!

Log in or Sign up

Useful Searches

Find Trucking Jobs

The thing most truckers take for granted.....

379 Peterbilt Medium Load Member

Wait, employers can't reach you!

Brickman Trucker Forum STAFF Staff Member

qcommkiller Light Load Member

LuckyLady7 <strong>Good Luck Charm</strong>

JTode Bobtail Member

xXDarthVaderXx Light Load Member

JTode Bobtail Member

TrooperRat Medium Load Member

LuckyLady7 <strong>Good Luck Charm</strong>

JTode Bobtail Member

Wait, employers can't reach you!