Overlooked Advice for Prospective Drivers

Waiting for what? Breakfast? I don't mind waiting for breakfast, if the food is good, and there is plenty of it. Pretty waitresses and good conversation also help pass the time. And they keep the coffee cups full.

Waiting for a traffic lite? Those can be annoying, especially those that are timed poorly, or those ones that go through the whole cycle, when you are the only vehicle within miles. In that case, I would, no, I should say, I do not like waiting.

Waiting in traffic? That can also be annoying, but you really can't do much about it, so why get mad? As a matter of fact, I had to wait in a line of trucks at a customer just yesterday. One way in, one way out, and there was some idjit at the front of the line blocking everyone else. I started to get upset after about 25 minutes, but then I thought to myself "Self, you're on the clock, why are you getting upset?" And ya know what? It worked! I didn't mind waiting!

I wonder what company the OP is at, and why he (or she, as it may be) took the time to write such an information packed, fully detailed, well thought out post, advising all prospective drivers that they better not mind waiting. Perhaps he (or she, as it may be) was waiting somewhere, and thought "Since I'm waiting, perhaps I'll take the time to warn all prospective drivers that they better not mind waiting". You know, like a public service announcement type thing. I, for one, cannot begin to express my thanks and gratitude to the OP. I'm sure hoping millions, if not more, prospective drivers , will heed this advice, and be better off for doing so. Making this big blue marble we all call home a much better place.

 

Here is some more often overlooked advice
Don't eat yellow snow
Never cut the red wire
Always check to make sure the seat is down before you sit on a toilet
Despite what others say, lot lizards are real
If you cry yourself to sleep every night, you've already washed your face for the morning
If an officer is pulling you over, mash your brakes and make them rearend you. Then its the officers fault and they'll get in trouble.

That's all I got this early

 

Don’t take a load of apples to Atlanta, or you might get robbed.

 

Buy a six pack of Dial soap. The GoJo is a little rough.

 

*applause*

 

Keep your bowels open and your union paid and you wont go far wrong in life.

 

• Don't eat rocks.
• Don't take naps in the road.
• Don't stoke fires with your fingers.
• Don't throw a brick straight up.
• Don't breathe car exhaust.
• If you ever meet the President, don't offer him the surprise gift of a firearm by whipping it suddenly out of your coat pocket.
• For all pertinent tasks, use a hammer, not your fist.
• Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.
• Don't stargaze with friends on a hilltop in a thunderstorm and use metal fishing rods as pointers.
• The stuff on the bottom of your shoe is not for internal consumption.
• If you need to get somewhere, and a freight train heading in the direction you're traveling just happens to be nearby, resist the urge to stand in front of it and grab hold as it passes.
• If you want to pound on the radiator to tell the landlord to turn up the heat, don't do it with your head.
• Don't flip off the Mafia.
• If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you spit.
• Wash behind your ears, not behind your eyes.
• Light birthday cake candles from back to front.
• Don't shave with a lawn mower.
• Just because your body has orifices doesn't mean you should put things into them.
• Don't stick screwdrivers into electrical outlets.
• Although they are sold in grocery stores, batteries are not food. Do not break them open and drink what's inside.
• The warning "Don't try this at home" really means "Don't try this at all."
• Don't bathe in a tub full of snow.
• Don't iron clothes while wearing them.
• The expression "Life in the fast line" should not inspire you to live in the road.
• Don't eat hot coals.
• Don't escape in to jail.
• Don't wash floors with cough syrup.
• Don't kick porcupines with bare feet.
• Don't sled down hills with interstates at the bottom.
• Sell at most one of your kidneys.
• Don't lie down in a cattle pen.
• Forks need carry food no farther than your mouth.
• Don't test the strength of your skull with a nail gun.
• Only squeeze the handle end of a sword.
• Don't snap towels at passing cops.
• Don't throw an angry cat straight up.
• Don't lick dry ice.
• Before you leap upside down onto a trampoline, make sure it's right side up.
• Don't pour salt in your eyes.
• Your body has the correct number of holes in it. Don't make any more.
• Don't microwave yourself.
• Don't chase a bear into the woods to get a close-up photo.
• Don't swallow toothpaste.
• Don't chew Tylenol.
• Don't bathe in gasoline.
• Don't sneak up to a stallion and whack it on the rump.
• Don't drink water that comes from swimming pools, puddles, bathtubs, dishpans, sewage pipes, radiators, oceans, acid rain, or toilet bowls.
• Don't stick body parts into electrical outlets.
• Don't listen to music from the Spice Girls.
• Don't lick toads, bulls, or jellyfish.
• Don't go swimming in a well.
• Rake leaves, not people.
• Shovels are for digging holes in the ground, not the floor of your house.
• Contrary to popular opinion, you're not supposed to strip the protective rubber coating off electrical wires before plugging them in.
• If you want to chew gum, buy some. Don't use the gum from underneath the seats at schools and movie theaters even though it's free.
• Don't kick stone walls very hard without wearing thick-soled shoes or boots.
• Even if you need to get downstairs quickly, don't jump out of a window -- use the stairs.
• When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's sufficiently hot.
• Better yet, stay away from acetylene torches altogether.
• Walking barefoot in the sand is good. Walking barefoot on a cactus is bad.
• Elvis is dead. Get over it.
• Wear clothes.
• Use a pot holder when removing items from the oven.
• If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
• Don't drink.
• Don't drive.
• Don't tie yourself to an airplane propeller.
• Don't brush your teeth with a wire-bristled sanding wheel.
• When using a weed whacker, don't hold the end with the wire.
• When using a blow gun -- something you should always have a very good reason for doing anyway -- draw your breath before placing your lips around the barrel.
• No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo.
• Give me all your money.
• When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.
• Toasters should be used to cook bread, not your hands.
• Under no circumstances should you ever reproduce.

 

The best advice I can give is to have fun out there. To do that you must be able to time manage. We are on a bunch of different clocks. Use them to your advantage.

Get a bicycle and use it or call a cab or some such thing. Don't always drive by Custer's Battlefield, park the truck and go see it. Same with Niagara Falls. Lots of beautiful stuff out there. We watched a Rocket go up at Cape Canaveral. Stopped at Disney in Orlando. Take tours of the plants you are parked at. Make friends and live your life. You have 8 hours a day to relax. Do it.