Phrases dispatchers hate.

"Ain't gonna happen" That's my go-to answer.

 

"Tomorrow for sure"

 

"I need to go home"

 

My personal Favorite: 'What part of... [insert objective of the day] don't you understand?'

Equally useful on those whom you wish to close accounts such as Dish Satellite. I finished on hold got a human agent from India with accent and thought that was difficult with my deafness. However we pushed forward with account clousre.

Agent working off script was babbling about savings and other things for continuing on with NOT closing account, I lost my temper and roared at him and said

"What part of your effing "Close my Account" do you not understand?"

Silence.

Finally told me he wil transfer me to supervisor. I had to apply the same line to that supervisor who also was working off the script to save the account from being closed. The boss man said something to the effect that I would be sorry etc. I said excellent, I need your operator ID Number for the Law Enforcement and you transfer me to Executive Services.

Management mid level problem solvers do NOT want you to say the words transfer me to "Executive Services." I learned that strategy within the Spring Cell Phone problems 10 years ago You are transferred instantly, talking with very large suits assigned to your case and you do not endure holding. (Cell phone land line services can burn up 2 hours on hold very easily..."

I have since learned to use Spring IP relay online for conservation of holding losses towards the celluar phone signalling losses in minutes. When you only get 350 minutes per month in voice You can hold online forever and a day if necessary. No problem.

 

Another really big favorite is asking my dispatcher if you recall (Dispatcher) my saying such a such will not happen until so and so or this and that is taken care of on the company end not my end. If the dispatcher does recall it then I say lesson becomes really simple Sir, no one ever minds what a driver has to say will happen most likely. And when it does happen everyone claims that they had no idea.

Thats where voice recorders come in. For example.

Sayre NY, Veterans Clinic Property just off the two lane divided road way. Foreman and his crew is told specifically that the front axle of the 48 foot spread WILL destroy his fresh built curb that has not had time to cure yet. Two choices. I come back in a few days when the curb is strong enough to take the spread axle then? Or ... they can bring out a pickup truck and transfer many boxes of shingles to the building under construction.

Get the bossman on record specfically saying two things.

1- Get that load into my parking lot drivah, my curb be ######.

2- You drivers do not know a #### thing about making deliveries, I DO. Get that truck into this lot, I don't want to hear any more of your old woman stories about stuff that aint broken yet.

Got that on tape. (Actually digital in my pocket) spoken loudly and with passion.

Curb is broken, shingles delivered to the front lobby of the building. The abuse and yelling caught on tape as it were. Company safety let it go once they understood the battle problem off that tape combined with google earth of the situation presented by building on constructing.

 

"it's snowing, i can't work today"

 

Deal with it !

 

Baltimore speak:

Other than Tree Fiddy (A cookie to those not from area to figure it out)

Dispatcher finishes yelling at me about how HE or SHE was able to get a 1940s reo with 5ton in the box to deliver to the exact same customer in Jersey by planned date and time. Do I understand that I am late already and they will brand me with "Service failure?"

I told that dispatcher several days ago I needed a new appointment in writing on Qualcomm and what part of "Aint gonna" don't they understand in terms of not being there at that date and time.

Especially joyous to me when I spout those words to a apparently incompentant dispatcher sitting down the hall from 50 truckers telling stories in the Highland Ave Chicago Yards Breakroom inside the FFE Compound. You would think you can take a moment and dig up a proper team and run that load thats late to be on time.

And you wonder why I have the record I do in terms of conflicts with dispatchers.